Love Ain't Always Easy
by CeCe17
Summary: Life will never be easy; nothing worth living or fighting for ever is. So if love makes life all the more worth living for, then Carrie is about to realize just how life and love will be everything but easy. * Sequel to Life Ain't Always Easy *
1. Chapter 1

**So here is the first chapter of the sequel to _Life Ain't Always Easy_. I want to thank Dark Alana for helping me with the summary after I was having some trouble with it, so thank you. I want to say welcome back to the old readers and welcome to the new readers. It would be easier to understand what's going on in this story if you read _Life Ain't Always Easy,_ although you don't have to if you don't want to. Once again please excuse any grammatical errors that this may contain I tried my best at looking it over and fixing them but a few may still be there. So without any more blabbing, I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, places or dialogue you may recognize from the show they all belong to Kurt Sutter. I only own Carrie, the places, dialogue and any other character not recognizable.**

* * *

Chapter One

Two weeks had passed since Abel's kidnapping and Kip's murder and even though Carrie wanted to be there for Jax. To offer comfort and be a shoulder to lean on. She stayed away.

She knew the last thing Jax needed right now was drama. What he needed was to focus on finding Abel and nothing else. Her showing up would only cause unnecessary and unwanted drama. Especially when it came to Tara.

So instead, she focused on helping Piney with the funeral arrangements. Making sure everything was set for Kip's wake that night.

Any information regarding Jax and the search for Abel was given to her by either Piney or Opie and it was getting on her nerves that she had to rely on them. But she knew there was no way that she could be in the same room as Tara and not start something. Especially, when she held Tara responsible for Kip being stabbed and Abel being taken by Cameron Hayes. In her eyes, Tara was equally responsible for what happened.

Carrie had no idea how she was going to get through the wake without blowing a gasket at seeing Tara. Especially when everyone was treating her as a victim and felt bad that she had to witness everything. But there were only two victims and one of them was already lying in a casket and the other was somewhere out there. So in her mind, Tara shouldn't be receiving any sympathy and she wouldn't be receiving any from her.

What was even more fucked up, was that Gemma had no idea that her grandson was missing. From what Carrie knew, the club had only told her about Kip because it had been all over the news. In a way they were protecting Gemma wherever she was but in a way they were only adding more fuel to the fire that was surely going to burn. Once Gemma found out. There were no ifs ands or buts about that because this wasn't something they would be able to keep from her for much longer.

* * *

"I think you blame me," Tara said leaning on the dresser besides Jax.

Jax shook his head, "This has nothing to do with you."

"None of it does," he said after a couple of seconds.

"None of it?" Tara softly questioned.

"I'm sorry this happened. I had no right asking you for this." Jax stated ignoring her previous question.

"Asking me for what?"

"Wanting you to stay. Be a part of what I am… I didn't think it through. I obviously do that type of shit…not think what it might do to other people."

"I'm not other people," Tara states in disbelief at what Jax is saying.

"You should have gone back to Chicago," Jax states shaking his head. "That shit that happened with Kohn. That should have been the end."

Even though he had said it aloud, it was something he had been thinking to himself. He should have just helped Tara deal with Kohn and then left after. He shouldn't have slept with her and started this all over again. Maybe if he had done things differently none of this would have been happening.

"You're not making any sense," Tara softly stated watching him for some kind of sign that would help her understand.

"This has to be the end. You have to get out from Charming…away from me."

"Jax you can't expect-"

"Just… Tara. Please don't complicate it. It's simple… you don't belong here," Jax said cutting her off.

"And Carrie does?"

"Carrie is Piney's daughter and Opie's sister. That alone makes her a part of this," Jax states looking at her; knowing that Tara was looking for a fight but not having the energy to give her one.

Jax starts to walk out the room not wanting to stick around for the fight that he knows has been in the works for a while now.

"We both know why you really want to end this. It's because of _her,_" Tara angrily says turning to face his back.

"This isn't about Carrie or me blaming you for what happened," Jax firmly explains. "It's simply about you not belonging in my world. You never did."

Jax leaves her alone in the room and hearing his bike drive off causes her to snap. Pushing the items on the shelf onto the floor is the only way to relieve the anger that she is feeling.

* * *

After not getting any information that could have given them a clue as to where Cameron could have taken Abel. Jax found himself at the cemetery. The only place where he could let everything he was feeling out without someone feeling bad or taking pity on him.

On his way back to his bike, he saw the black van Piney seemed to be driving now a days.

"So… how's the old man?" Piney gruffly asked.

"Still dead," Jax answered coming to a stop in front of him.

"You know I hear that happens."

"What are you doing? Cruising for widows," Jax teased with a small barely there smile.

"Making arrangements for Sack's grave."

Jax nodded while getting ready to leave.

"You want to bounce something off of me? I'm not as smart as JT but I've been known to have my moments," Piney said offering to hear Jax out.

"I'm good," Jax stated squeezing Piney's arm in thanks and reassurance.

"Jax," Piney called out causing him to stop and turn around. "We don't have shrinks or priests. You don't have to talk to me and that's fine. But you have to talk to somebody in this club and work this shit out."

Jax didn't say anything, instead he walked over to his bike and sat down while Piney chose to lean against the van.

"I've been trying to find some kind of balance Piney. From my family…club. Every time I think I've found it. I end up in a place I never knew could feel this bad," Jax said after a couple of moments of silence as he gathered his thoughts.

"What did I do man?" Jax questions trying to hold back the tears welling in his eyes.

"Look…you're loyal. You're decent. You love the right things. That's how he was," Piney says motioning towards JT's gravestone.

* * *

"Did you hear about Doctor Knowles?" Carrie heard one of the nurses ask as she stood waiting for the elevator.

She turned around thinking that the question was directed at her but saw two nurses standing in the hall gossiping.

"No what about her?"

"She freaked out during one of her surgeries."

Carrie didn't stick around to find out what had happened next. Instead she stepped into the elevator. She didn't care what Tara did. It wasn't any of her business but the fact that she hadn't done anything to stop Cameron from taking Abel didn't sit right with her.

Now she had to go home and get ready for Kip's wake because he had risked his life in order to stop Cameron and make sure Abel was safe.

* * *

Jax was just finishing cleaning up the mess Tara had made in Abel's nursery when she walked in. He briefly paused in his cleaning to look at her before bending down to pick up some closed packs of diapers.

"I'll finish up," Tara said bending down to pick up what was lying on the floor.

"I got it," Jax stated taking the wooden toys from her; not in the mood to deal with her at the moment. "You should go."

"No. You know I didn't come back to Charming to run away from Kohn and I didn't stay because of what we did to him," she informed him still kneeling on the floor.

"It doesn't matter now."

"When Donna was killed. Those things you said to me at the hospital about my life being a series of hit and runs. That my face was the only one you saw," she said standing up.

"I shouldn't have said that shit," Jax said raising his voice.

He knew had made a mistake saying that because it had been true when he was Wendy and anyone else. Until Carrie came around. Then all he saw was her.

"It was the truth," Tara raised her voice and threw the nearest object at him; which turned out to be a stuffed rabbit. "I have created this very serious life for myself and when I'm inside it I barely know myself. I have these moments sometimes in the middle of a surgery when I'm aware of my hands doing extraordinary things… and I'm like what am I doing? When I'm with you I never ask that question."

"I'm not the answer. Look at me… look at this," Jax said.

"I'm always looking at it. My brain never stops. Why am I here? Should I be here? Should I stay? Should I go? Am I afraid to be a mother… shit… it's endless."

"None of that matters," Jax softly said.

"I know… it's become all clear to me. The noise doesn't matter. We don't know who we are until we are connected to someone else. We're just better people when we're with the person we're supposed to be with. I wasn't supposed to leave. I belong here."

Jax didn't know what to say. So he did the only thing he could think of. He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.

All the while he was thinking that her words didn't matter anymore. They would have ten years ago but they didn't matter anymore. Not when the person he wanted by his side was somewhere else.

* * *

Carrie looked around noticing how many people had shown up to Kip's wake. There were patches from different states and even some army friends of Kip's all milling around the front of the funeral home.

She slowly started to make her way through the crowd as she spotted Jax and Tara arrive. As she made her way up the steps she kept hearing people say "Such a shame" or "He was brave for doing what he did."

Looking across the street, she stopped midway up the steps when she noticed David parked directly across from the funeral home.

The last time she had talked to him had been shortly after Kip had delivered the ultrasound picture and they had decided on two names for the baby. One if it was a boy and one in case it was a girl.

Now here he was standing mere feet from her but she couldn't make herself go to him. Instead she watched as he talked to a man in a suit who she knew was Jacob Hale.

Feeling like a stalker, she turned and made her way inside.

Inside she stood off to the side with Lyla as the club paid their respects. She couldn't help but stare at the kutte draped over his casket. The same kutte he had worn before now held his top and bottom rockers along with the reaper.

Opie had told her how the club had voted on doing this for Kip since he had been so close into patching in. Him sacrificing his life had shown them that he deserved to be buried a fully patched in member.

She felt Lyla softly nudge her and whisper for her to look at the entrance of the room.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw Jax and Tara make their way into the room. She stayed silent as she watched the scene unfold before her. Seeing Tara kneel in front of Kip's casket was the breaking point. It was taking all her strength to not pull her by the hair and drag her out.

Instead she made her way out of the room and through the crowd until she was outside and taking deep breaths of fresh air in.

* * *

"How you holding up?" Lyla questioned as they made their way down the funeral home steps.

"As best as I can. He didn't deserve to die this way," Carrie said stepping onto the sidewalk.

Lyla hugged Carrie and watched the club make their way out of the funeral home. She caught Opie's eye as he made his way down the steps. She watched him slow down before quickening his steps.

As soon as he was within arms reach, he reached out and pulled them into his arms.

One moment they were calmly standing or walking around and the next chaos had erupted. People started dropping down onto the ground to avoid being hit.

Opie had pushed both Lyla and Carrie onto the ground although he had tried to be more careful of the latter and covered them with his own body.

Once things had somewhat settled down. Opie helped both Lyla and Carrie up before checking them over for any injuries.

"I'm fine. Just a little shaken," Carrie shakily said.

Opie looked towards Lyla who nodded in answer to his silent question reassuring him that she was fine.

Any other question he might have had was cut off when Jax started bashing one of the gunmen's face against the pavement.

It took both Opie and Bobby to pull him off and even then he was still struggling against them.

Hearing his name called out, Opie looked over towards the crowd. Noticing Lyla desperately point and start heading towards the street. Looking in the direction she was heading he saw Carrie quickly making her way where Unser and Jacob Hale were crowded around a body.

"Shit," he said letting go of Jax; knowing whose body they were crowding around.

He started running in an attempt to reach Carrie before she reached them. He tried to intercept her but she managed to dodge his first attempt.

Wrapping his arms around her, he was cautious of her baby bump as he tightened his arms around her as she struggled to shrug him off and break free.

"Let me go Ope. I need to go and help David," she softly said; her voice breaking.

"There's nothing you can do Carrie," Opie softly said as he turned her around.

Opie noticed Jax making his way towards them before he let go of Carrie and started guiding her towards the sidewalk where they were far from the crowd and away from where David's body lay.

As soon as Jax was within arm's reach, he pulled Carrie into his arms.

He watched Opie walk over to Lyla who stood a couple of feet away from them in order to give them some privacy.

"It's going to be okay," Jax softly reassured her; rubbing one hand across her back. "You're going to be okay."

He kissed Carrie's head and tightened his arms as he felt her start to shake. He knew that she wasn't on good terms with Hale the past month or so but that was her baby's father. So her reaction was only natural. After all it was because of Hale that she had been able to move on from the loss of their baby. David had been there for her when he should have been.

Resting his cheek on her head. He thought back to the conversation he had with Hale earlier in the week. He didn't know how he was going to fulfill his promise to Hale with everything going on but he knew he was going to do his best.

* * *

**There you have the first chapter to this story. Please leave a review on whether you loved, liked or disliked and why. As well as any predictions or suggestions you may have, which are very welcome. Once again I would like to know who you picture as Carrie when reading this, I am looking forward to reading your responses. Any questions don't be afraid to PM me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, I just want to say thank you to those of you who reviewed and to those who decided to favorite and follow. Now, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

Chapter Two

"Does it make me a bad person for not being depressed over David's death?" Carrie questioned.

"Everybody mourns differently," Piney gruffly said as he watched Carrie closely; afraid that the conversation could be the breaking point.

"That's the thing though… I don't feel anything. I'm sad because I know my son or daughter won't know their father and because he was a great guy but other than that I don't feel anything else," she explained before looking at Piney sitting across the table. "I cared for him I really did but now I know that I didn't love him. At least not like he deserved to be loved. Does that make me a bad person?"

"You're allowed to feel however you want. It doesn't make you a bad person for not being depressed over his death. You can't be upset over the fact that you didn't love him. Love is complicated and it's not something you force."

"People are going to judge the fact that I seem perfectly fine. At work I already get cautious stares because they think I'm going to break down at any moment," Carrie said shaking her head and scoffing. "And when I tell them I'm fine they look at me like they don't believe me or like I'm the worst person out there because I show no sadness over his death."

"Screw what people think. They can't tell you how to feel," Piney stated. "You just worry about you and that baby of yours. Nothing else should matter."

"His wake is tonight," Carrie softly informed him.

"Are you going to go?"

Carrie shook her head, "And make a scene by getting kicked out by his family. I don't think so."

"If you want to go… you have the right to go. He was your baby's father."

"Make his family understand that. Did you know it was Jacob Hale who put the doubt in David's head about the paternity of this baby," Carrie scoffed. "They didn't approve of the relationship because of my ties with you guys before I met him. They almost had a heart attack when they found out that David was dating the same person who was carrying Jax's baby."

"That was his decision to continue a relationship with you. He knew what he was getting himself into."

"I know but his parents wanted him to date a respectable young lady from their same class. Not some used up biker whore carrying a biker's baby. Their words not mine," Carrie explained.

"They're judgmental pricks. They've been trying to get rid of the club for over two decades now."

"This whole situation is fucked up," Carrie says shaking her head. "First Kip dies, Abel gets taken by Cameron Hayes, Gemma's on the run and now my kid won't know their father."

"That's life for you sweetheart. It sucks and it's hard but everything has a way of working out. Just you wait and see. Everything will be fine."

"I don't know how it's going to be fine," Carrie muttered before softly saying, "There's rumors going around that this baby is Jax's and that's why I'm not heartbroken over David's death."

"Where'd you hear this from?"

"Some nurses at the hospital and I heard some ladies talking about it at the grocery store as well," Carrie explained. "It's one thing to say things about me but to say them about my kid is another thing. I'm not some cynical bitch who would lie to someone to take responsibility for someone else's kid."

"We both know that. Let people talk. As long as the people who matter know the truth the rest don't matter."

* * *

"How's Carrie doing?" Jax questioned as he lit a smoke.

"I don't know if she's just putting up a brave front or not. Haven't really talked to her but from what pops tells me. She's doing alright," Opie answered before turning to face Jax. "What about you and Tara? How you two doing with everything?"

Jax exhaled and remained silent for a couple of minutes as he gathered his thoughts.

"She thinks I blame her for Abel getting taken away and that I want to end things because of Carrie," Jax finally answered.

"Do you blame her?"

"A part of me does but another part of me knows that if she would have tried anything against Hayes we would have been burying her and Sack at the same time," Jax said taking another drag of his cigarette.

Opie nodded in understanding, "Are you trying to end things with Tara because of Carrie?"

"I don't know man. Part of me is trying to end things because I see how Tara doesn't accept this part of me and the other part of me says to end things because I regret not taking a chance on Carrie," Jax explained.

"So what… you end things with Tara and try it out with Carrie? Listen man… that's my sister and you have to know that even though you're my best friend. I would still kick your ass for hurting her. So unless you're completely sure that she's the one you want and that you're willing to step up and be a father figure to her kid. Don't string her along."

"I wouldn't hurt her man and I don't care that she's not carrying my kid," Jax stated looking at Opie before putting his cigarette out.

"You sure about that?"

* * *

The following days only seemed to bring even more rumors and stares that had Carrie at her wits end. She knew if she had to hear any other false rumor or have to endure the sympathy glances or suspicious stares. She was going to blow a gasket.

The only thing helping to keep her sane was the fact that she would soon be hearing and hopefully finding out the sex of her baby.

"Carolyn Blake," she heard the nurse call out; before getting up and following her towards a room.

"Doctor should be in shortly," the nurse said before walking out of the room.

She sat there for a couple of minutes. Silently and anxiously waiting for Doctor Green to show up. She was currently moving her leg up and down while wiping her hands on her jeans; that she knew she wouldn't be able to wear for long since they were already a tight fit.

Hearing a quick knock before the door opened had her ceasing all movement as she watched Doctor Green walk in.

"You ready to get this show on the road?"

"Yeah," Carrie said as she sat on the exam table.

"Good. Have you been feeling well?"

"Just a little dizzy when I get up too quickly from laying or sitting down," Carrie answered while biting her lip.

"That's pretty normal. Other than that no dizziness or difficulty breathing?" Doctor Green asked while writing in the chart.

"No."

Doctor Green nodded before pulling the ultrasound machine closer to the exam table.

"Okay you know the drill," She stated as she turned it on and turned the light off in the room.

* * *

"Hands look like mine feel," Clay stated as he and the club approached Jax.

"We stick with plan A," Jax explained. "You guys drop off the guns… me and Clay pick up mom. We all head north to find my kid."

Opie reached into his back pocket taking an envelope out. "Here's ten grand for Serge's tracker," he explained holding the envelope out.

Jax stuck his cigarette into his mouth before grabbing the envelope and looking inside.

"Sold the pan head," Opie stated at Jax's disbelief.

"Thanks bro," Jax said hugging Opie while Clay nodded in approval. "We ready to do this?"

"Absolutely… yeah," Chibs answered as the club answered in agreement.

"I'll wire that to Serge's guy in Vancouver," Bobby said although it sounded more like a question.

"Yeah," Jax answered handing over the envelope.

* * *

Carrie was about to round the corner when she hear a couple of nurses talking.

"Did you hear that the baby isn't even David's?"

"No way. I didn't think she would have been one of those people. She seemed really nice and like she cared about Deputy Chief Hale."

Carrie leaned against the wall away from view as she continued to listen to the nurses' gossip.

"Well once a biker whore always a biker whore. Besides she did sleep and get knocked up by Jax Teller only she lost the baby. Who's to say that this baby isn't his?"

"I don't think she would have cheated on David though."

"You can believe whatever you want Suzie but I personally don't think that baby is a Hale."

"You're one to talk," Carrie said walking around the corner surprising the couple of nurses who were gossiping. "Weren't you the one that was pushing up on Tig not that long ago Lacey?"

Lacey, the blonde nurse who had been spreading the rumor, widened her eyes and turned red but didn't argue against her. The other nurses looked between them but didn't say anything.

Carrie closed the distance between them and looked at every single one of them.

"You can say whatever you want about me. I don't care but don't you dare spread false rumors about the paternity of my baby because that's when we're going to have a problem. Got it?"

They all nodded before walking away.

* * *

"I think that's all of them," Jax stated placing the box he had been carrying into the basement down.

"I want to come with you," Tara stated causing him to stop walking up the stairs. "To Canada."

"No," Jax firmly said shaking his head and waking towards her.

"Look I'm the only one who's not wanted. You're going to need my help."

"What I need… is for you to go back to work," Jax firmly stated.

"He's mine too," Tara explained. "I want to be with my family."

"We're not your family," Jax said raising his voice. "Do you not see how deep I'm buried here? You don't want this."

"Don't tell me what I want," Tara raised her voice. "I asked for the truth. You gave it to me."

"So you would stay put. You're not coming up north."

"Yes I am," Tara stated.

"You want to be an old lady?" Jax questioned having enough of this. "Then act like one and do what you're told. Pack your shit and head back to Charming."

"I just helped your mother kill someone. That old lady enough for you?!" Tara questioned pulling the wheel chair into view.

"What are you talking about?"

"The caretaker. She attacked your mother," Tara stated.

Jax looked down at the wheelchair, "What the hell did you do?"

"I had no choice. It was self-defense," Tara answered looking down and furrowing her brow.

Jax looked at her in disbelief as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"I got one more," Gemma stated setting the box down. "What happened?"

Jax backed away from his mother not believing that they could have done something so stupid in the middle of everything that was going on.

"What?" Gemma questioned knowing something was happening between her son and Tara.

She finally noticed the wheel chair that still had the duct tape stuck to it.

"Aww… shit," she muttered knowing what was going on.

"What happened?" Jax questioned his mother.

Gemma looked towards Tara who couldn't look at her and ending up turning around facing the wall.

"Gotta go," Clay stated once he was down the stairs.

"I'm dealing with something."

"Yeah so are Bobby and Piney," Tig informed Jax.

Jax looks at Clay who knows something must have happened.

"What's going on?"

"Apparently our lovely ladies whacked the caretaker," Jax told Clay before pointing at Tig. "And this idiot helped them."

Clay looked at Tig in disbelief, "What?"

"Actually I just made a phone call," Tig answered nonchalantly.

"Jesus Christ," Clay muttered. "This. Later."

Jax looked at them before moving towards the stairs hearing Clay call out.

"Douche bag," he stated passing Tig.

* * *

Carrie threw her bag onto the couch before moving towards the kitchen to pour herself something to drink. She had been in such a good mood after her doctor's appointment but hearing the nurses talking had put a dent in her happiness.

Sitting down at the table she picked up the prepaid she had brought with her before scrolling through the saved numbers she had on there. Finding the one she wanted she hoped he wasn't busy.

* * *

Opie was sitting on the bike hearing the club catcall and wolf whistle after the kiss his old man had shared with his "friend".

"What's up?" Opie questioned after answering his phone.

"_You're not busy are you?"_

"Just finished handling something. Why? Something happen?" Opie questioned noticing how the club had immediately quieted down after hearing his tone of voice.

"What's going on Carrie?" Opie anxiously questioned not hearing anything from her.

"_I'm fine. Everyone's fine."_

"They're all fine," Opie informed them before going back to the conversation with Carrie. "What's going on? Why the sudden phone call?"

"_I went in for my monthly check up and being that I'm 18 weeks… I found out the sex of the baby. I just wanted to share the news with someone since…you know."_

"Yeah I know. Glad you called… could use some good news right now," Opie answered his heart breaking a little for his little sister. "Is it for sure or just a guess?"

"_Well they said there's was still a small percentage that they could have predicted wrong. But from what the doctor saw it was most likely accurate. Either way I'm not shopping for anything until I'm farther along."_

"So according to the doctor… what are you having?" Opie questioned as he noticed that once again conversations had stopped and Piney had moved closer.

He stayed quiet as he heard her relay what the doctor had told her all the while seeing Piney impatiently waiting for the news.

"You sure you'll be able to handle that," Opie teased.

"_I'll have my family to help me. I think I can manage this."_

"Yeah. You will," Opie confirmed. "Alright well I'll let you go so you can rest."

Hanging the phone up, Opie took his time putting it away. Knowing that his old man was impatiently waiting for him to relay the news. Looking around he noticed the club looking at him expectantly.

"What?" he questioned. "You're all like old gossipy women."

"Cut to the chase already asshole," Piney gruffly said. "What did Carrie tell you?"

"She said she found out the sex of the baby although there's still a small percentage that it could be wrong," Opie relayed to them.

"But Carrie and the baby are doing fine?" Jax questioned.

"Yeah. Other than that they're both healthy."

"So is the club getting a new future member or future old lady," Clay teased.

Opie shook his head, "Don't you mean future deputy chief or nurse."

Piney looked about ready to have a heart attack at what Opie had said about it being a deputy chief; which caused the club to laugh.

"Not funny assholes," He gruffly stated which only caused the club to laugh harder.

"From what the doctor saw," Opie said after the laughing had died down. "Looks like you're getting another grandson old man."

* * *

Carrie finished off her glass of juice before washing it. She knew she wouldn't be able to rest so instead she decided to call Lyla and see if the kids wanted to spend the night.

Knowing that she hadn't seen them since everything went down and she didn't want them to feel as if she didn't care about them anymore.

* * *

"What happened?" Jax questioned over the roar of the bikes.

"She just took off," Tara said raising her voice so she could be heard.

"What do you mean she took off?" Clay questioned as the noise died down and he walked closer to where Tara was standing.

"I went inside to check Nate in and when I came back Gemma and the car was gone."

"Did she say anything?" Clay questioned.

"No. She was crying when I left her. Nate was begging her to take him home. Broke her heart," Tara explained.

None of them said anything. They were too busy to try and figure out where Gemma could have taken off to.

"Jesus… she went home," Jax said.

"Abel," Clay stated.

Jax quickly took off his helmet and handed it to Tara before pulling off with the club.

* * *

"Neeta," Gemma called out as she entered her son's home.

"Where the hell did she take him?" she questioned out loud as she saw the empty crib.

Taking her phone out, she dialed a familiar number.

* * *

"Hello?" Carrie cautiously answered not recognizing the number.

"_Carrie…its Gemma. Is Neeta over there with Abel?"_

Carrie felt her heart stop and the blood drain from her face. Looking over at the kids watching a movie she slowly stood up before moving into the kitchen.

"No," she cleared her throat. "She isn't here."

Carrie closed her eyes hating the fact that she couldn't tell Gemma the truth but it wasn't something you could say over the phone.

"_Oh okay. I'll check the clubhouse then."_

"Yeah… okay," Carrie answered before hearing the dial tone.

Carrie closed the prepaid and sat it on the counter before rubbing her temples. She knew Gemma's heart was going to be shattered at not finding Abel and there wasn't anything she could do to stop it.

* * *

"Neeta been here with the baby?" Gemma asked as soon as she had walked into the clubhouse.

The two hang arounds who had been playing a game of pool and a few crow eaters didn't say anything.

Finally after a minute or so one of them answered, "No."

Gemma nodded before leaving. Now she was starting to get even more worried. No one had seen Neeta with the baby.

She had just started to make her way across the pavement when her phone rang causing her to halt in her steps.

"Yeah?" she answered uncertainly at the unknown number.

"_Gemma? It's Maureen Ashby. Know who I am?"_

"Yeah. How'd you get this number?"

"_Just listen. Cammy Hayes took your grandson. He was my cousin. He brought the wee one to me to take care of him."_

"What?" Gemma asked in disbelief as the roar of motorcycles approached.

"_Abel's in Belfast."_

* * *

**So there you have it. Chapter two. I Just want to give you a heads up, not all of the scenes from Season Two will be here. I'm only using the ones that I feel flow with the chapters as well a modifying them a little bit to fit the story. Anyways I hope you enjoyed it. Any suggestions or predictions for what's happening next are always encouraged.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, I hope you had a good weekend. I just want to point some things out. You guys will find out what the talk between Jax and David was about soon. Don't think I have forgotten about that I'm just waiting for the right time which will be soon. Any questions you have you can ask them in a review or PM and I will answer them if the answer doesn't gie anything major away. Also the line break isn't showing in some parts but I hope that wont be a problem. With that said I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please excuse any grammatical errors I tried my best to go back and fix them but I may have missed a few.**

* * *

Chapter Three

Carrie had been on her way to see Gemma when she spotted Piney and Juice.

"What the hell happened to him?" She questioned.

"Fight," Juice answered in obvious pain.

Carrie sighed. "Come on. I'll clean you up."

"You don't have to sweetheart," Piney answered.

"It's been a slow day. Come on," She stated motioning for them to follow her.

Once she had gotten them into an empty room she asked Juice to sit on the exam table.

"They really did a number on you didn't they?" she questioned setting her supplies down next to him.

"Yeah."

She opened the swabs that were ready to use to in order to clean his wounds. She apologized as Juice flinched but when he kept flinching she told him to suck it up. Which caused Piney to laugh and Juice to pout.

"There. You're good to go," she said before cleaning up.

"Thanks Carrie and congratulations on your boy," Juice said motioning towards her small baby bump.

"Thanks and no more fights alright," she jokingly warned.

She walked behind them before stopping Piney, "What was that really about?"

"Deal gone wrong. Club needs the money," Piney simply answered before leaving her to watch him walk away.

* * *

"Bringing your work home with you huh?" Jax questioned as he lit a cigarette.

"I never seem to learn," Stahl said shaking her head at his offer for a smoke. "You got five minutes."

"Your careers taken a huge hit. Booted off the Irish. Stripped of your team. We both know you're looking at a transfer to some left for dead field office," Jax said getting straight to the point.

"This is what you came to tell me?"

"Not only can I give you your career back. I can make you an ATF legend. The agent who single handedly broke the real IRA NorCal terrorist threat. I'll hand over Jimmy O'Phelan. Give you the names of his contacts and my sworn statement. Everything you need to know about the gun running," Jax informed Stahl before taking a drag of his cigarette.

"And what do you want?"

"My son… my mother… and my club," he answered.

"How am I supposed to deliver those things?"

"No witness from Zobelle's church party is going to testify," Jax informed Stahl. "That only leaves the federal automatic weapons charges."

"With all the priors that you guys have…the U.S attorney will never drop them."

"We just want them reduced. Short term," Jax quickly answered. "MC's got a bail hearing tomorrow. You need to slow that down. We need a couple of weeks."

"So you can get to Belfast? For Jimmy and I'm guessing that's where Abel is. Even if I can push the bail hearing… you guys can't leave the country."

"That's my problem," Jax stated. "We just can't have the fugitive heat."

"And your mother?"

"Your lie set this whole shit in motion. I don't care what you have to do. Recant your statement… tell some new lies… find a scapegoat. You just set that truth straight."

"Immunity is a complicated"

"Immunity is bullshit… too many strings," Jax said cutting her off. "I want a statement signed by you clearing her of both kills."

"And I'm supposed to just trust you huh?" Stahl questioned in disbelief. "Just take your word on this deal of a lifetime. Guy who wants me dead."

"Hey…my club finds out. I am dead. My risk is just as great."

"What makes you think that I would actually believe that the prince would turn rat?"

* * *

The day had felt extremely long. Like it was never ending so when it finally became dark Carrie was thankful.

She had just finished taking a shower and was scanning her fridge for any leftovers. Finally deciding on the leftover pizza from last night she sighed in tiredness as she waited for the microwave to beep.

She hadn't gotten the chance to speak with Gemma and in a way she was thankfully. Knowing that Gemma knew about Abel made her a little uneasy to go and visit her. Fully knowing that she would make her feel guilty for not telling her that her grandson was missing.

Hearing the beep pulled her from her thoughts. Sitting down once again. She knew that she was going to have to face Gemma sooner rather than later.

* * *

"We have a deal?" Jax questioned after showing Stahl Jimmy's second in command.

"I'm going to need to draw something up."

"No. this is a simple trade. I deliver Jimmy and my sworn statement. You sign off on the club's gun charges and my mom."

Stahl looked at him suspiciously not believing that it was really that simple.

"Hey. I'm the one that's got to deliver," Jax stated seeing her having her doubts. "You've got nothing to lose. It's you and me… we're all we got_ June_."

Stahl nods and Jax slams the doors to the van before turning back to face her.

"Leave Carrie out of whatever game you were trying to play. She's got nothing to do with this. She isn't some pawn you can bend at your will."

"Just trying to look out for my kid is all," Stahl said.

"Cut the bullshit. I know she's not really your daughter. So leave her out of this," Jax said smirking at Stahl's fallen face.

* * *

The next day Carrie stopped by T-M on her way home from work. At first she thought no one was around but she knew they had to be in the clubhouse because their bikes were all there.

What she didn't expect was for Tig and some blonde to be going at it in the middle of the clubhouse. Instead of stopping the fight all the guys were cheering and egging them on.

She even noticed Opie eating what looked like cashews out of a small bowl. The guys were too engrossed in the fight to even notice her presence.

Her eyes widened when she saw Tig bite the guy's hand before spitting blood out as the blonde moved across the room. Before running at him again. That was when she caught Jax's eye.

He immediately stopped smiling and motioned for her to follow him. She quickly crossed the room and followed him down the hallway fully aware that the rest of the club had seen her follow Jax.

"Here," Carrie said reaching into her bag pulling out an envelope and holding it out for him to take.

"What's this?" Jax questioned after closing the door.

"Take it."

Jax slowly took the envelope before looking inside.

"There's five grand in there," Carrie explained as he looked at the money in disbelief. "I would have gotten more but that was all I could get for now."

"How? Why?"

"I thought it could help you find Abel," Carrie softly said ignoring the how in his previous question.

"No," Jax said shaking his head. "I can't take this."

"Keep it… stash it. I don't care but if you need it to find Abel then use it."

"We have everything settled," Jax said trying to hand her the money but she wouldn't take it.

"Bullshit. I know the club is running low on cash."

Jax sighed knowing that they needed the money but not wanting to take it from her. Especially since he knew she was going to need it.

"I know you want to help but I can't take it from you. Not when you're going to need it."

"I work Jax and I still have some money in my bank account," Carrie said before speaking softly. "If this is the only way for me to help find Abel then please take it."

"Thanks," Jax finally said putting the envelope in his back pocket.

"You're welcome." Carrie sincerely stated.

"Heard you're having a boy," Jax said motioning towards her baby bump.

"I'm guessing Opie or Piney told you."

"We were all there when you called," Jax explained.

Carrie nodded, "Yeah… well I still have my doubts since the doctor said there was a small chance she was wrong."

"So you're hoping it's a girl?"

"I mean as long as the baby is healthy… I don't really mind but I think raising a girl as a single mother would be easier."

"You're not going to raise that baby by yourself. You have Opie and Piney," Jax stated.

"I know," Carrie said before softly continuing. "It just sucks that my kid is never going to know their dad you know?"

"Yeah," Jax answered.

"I should get going," Carrie said feeling the awkward tension start to build.

"Do you think our baby would have been a boy?" Jax blurted out the question; causing Carrie to drop her hand from the door knob.

"We'll never know," Carrie softly answered. "But I think it would have been a girl…would have been interesting to see you raise her."

"Raising a daughter wouldn't have been that hard," Jax stated.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I would have been doing it with you,"Jax softly answered.

Carrie didn't know what to say. So she softly gave him a small smile before leaving. His question had caught her off guard but she knew that this pregnancy only served as a reminder to what could have been. She often wondered how big she would have been by now or if she would have been having a boy or girl.

She knew she should focus on her life now but she knew she would always wonder about the what if's. It was just something both she and Jax would have to live with.

* * *

"Sheriffs raided the clubhouse looking for illegal scripts," Jax stated as soon as Tara sat down in the secluded waiting room.

"Oh my God…how did they know?"

Jax scoffed, "You tell me."

"What the hell does that mean?" Tara defensively questioned.

"You told me we could trust that doctor."

"He wouldn't say anything," Tara stated.

"Well someone did," Jax said leaning forward. "I get caught. I can do the years but you… Narc reps are real time. Your medical career would be over. Do you get that?"

"You asked me for help…this isn't my fault."

"I know…. I know. It's mine," Jax said staying quiet for a couple seconds.

"I'm done," he told her looking at her.

Standing up he kissed her one last time before walking away. Leaving Tara behind. He just wondered if she would actually believe him that he actually meant it.

* * *

**So there you have it. Any predictions on what's going to happen next? **


	4. Chapter 4

**I hope you guys are having a good weekend so far. Things are going to start revealing themselves soon. With that said I hope you enjoy this chapter and please excuse any grammar mistakes, I reread it to fix any but some may have slipped by.**

* * *

Chapter Four

"Busy morning for you," Opie stated as Jax walked out of the bathroom.

"Little bit," he answered pulling his jeans on.

"Ima," Opie said squinting before taking a drag from his cigarette. "Kind of a dick move."

"Want to tell me what's going on?"

"Nope," Jax said putting his shoes on.

"Well," Opie said putting cigarette out. "I hope you wrapped your shit. It was a high traffic zone you were ripping through last night."

"Hindsight," Jax called out to Opie; after pulling his shirt on.

Opie stopped in the hall and came back in.

"If the dick move could have pushed Donna away… would you have done it?"

"When I first went inside… I pushed Donna for a divorce. Told her the marriage was a joke… she should just take the kids and split," Opie revealed. "She knew what I was doing. She hung in. I think it's going to a little more than some porn pussy to scare away Tara."

"And your porn pussy? It scaring you away?"

"I don't know," Opie answered honestly.

"We're at the table," Juice informed them from the doorway.

"Alright… come on lets go find my kid. We'll figure out what we're doing with our dicks later," Jax stated fixing his kutte as he walked out of the room.

* * *

As Carrie made her way towards Gemma's room, Unser was making his way out.

"How are you and the baby doing?"

"We're doing well," Carrie softly answered.

"If you need anything don't think twice about coming to me for help," Unser informed her.

Carrie nodded and they both started to walk away.

"Carrie," Unser called out before she went through the doors.

Turning around Carrie watched him reach into his pocket.

"David asked me to give this to you, if anything happened to him," Unser revealed holding a folded envelope out to her. "Was on my way to give it to you but since you're here…"

"Thank you," Carrie said, feeling her hands shaking as she took the envelope.

Unser nodded before turning around and leaving her there. Looking down she unfolded the envelope and saw her name written across the front.

Sighing she folded the envelope back up and put it in the front pocket of her scrubs. Saving it for later, when she was alone at home.

Opening the door to Gemma's room she noticed it empty before the bathroom door opened.

"Hey Gemma," Carrie softly said stopping within arms reach.

Gemma looked at her with a blank expression before reaching her arm out and resting it on her cheek. The next thing she knew she was supporting herself on the chair and holding her cheek.

"What the hell Gemma?" Carrie questioned in disbelief.

"That's for not telling me about my grandson," Gemma calmly stated before sitting on the bed.

"I'm sorry but that wasn't something you discuss over the phone," Carrie snapped; rubbing her cheek.

"Either way I found out in a phone call," Gemma stated.

"Who told you?"

"Maureen Ashby. You wouldn't know her," Gemma explained. "Told me Abel's in Belfast. Described his scar on his belly and what he was wearing."

"I thought he was in Vancouver?"

"That's what everyone was led to believe."

"So what now? Jax and the club are heading to Belfast?"

"That's the only way to get my grandson."

Carrie sighed as she heard her pager go off.

"I have to go Gemma."

"Take care of you and that baby," Gemma called out as she opened the door.

She nodded once before hurrying towards the nurses' station.

"What are you doing here?" Carrie asked as she walked up to the nurses' station.

"Needed to talk to you about something," Lyla stated.

"Okay," Carrie said motioning for Lyla to follow her.

Closing the door to the chapel, Carrie motioned for Lyla to sit down.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

Lyla nervously rubbed her hands on her jeans. Before taking a deep breath.

"I came here to tell you that I'm pregnant."

"Is it…"Carrie trailed off looking at Lyla in shock.

"Its Ope's," Lyla said knowing what Carrie was asking.

"That's great. I'm just in a little shock here but I'm happy for you two," Carrie explained smiling at Lyla.

Lyla didn't look happy and that caused Carrie to drop her smile immediately.

"I'm guessing there's more you want to tell me?"

"I'm planning on terminating the pregnancy," Lyla softly announced.

"What?" Carrie disbelievingly questioned. "Does Opie know?"

Lyla shook her head, "Its better if he doesn't know. That way he won't try to change my mind."

Carrie shook her head, "That's only going to cause problems in the future Lyla. Opie deserves to know about that baby. You should hear what he has to say and together make a decision."

"I can't bring a baby into a relationship where the memory of a past relationship is still present."

"You mean Donna?" Carrie softly questioned.

Lyla nodded, "I know Opie can't move on from her. It's like her ghost doesn't just haunt the walls in the house but our relationship as well."

"That's even more reason to tell him Lyla," Carrie explained. "I can't say that he's going to take the news well but I know that he'll be happy once he comes to terms with it. But you have to understand that he and Donna were together for a long time. Her dying completely devastated him. Then you came along and slowly started returning him to normal."

"One thing you have to know about Opie is that he's loyal and loves his family and kids more than anything in this whole world," Carrie stated grabbing Lyla's hand. "You need to tell Opie because I'm not going to lie to him. He's my brother Lyla and I don't want to see him get hurt or in the state he was after Donna's death."

"Did you have any doubts about telling Jax?"

Carrie sighed and leaned back on the bench.

"I did have a couple but I knew that no matter what I couldn't get rid of the baby," Carrie stated looking at Lyla. "I knew that it was going to be hard for me to compete with Tara. She was his first love and high school sweetheart. That's why I never asked him to leave her. In your case you're competing with a memory but give him time to come to terms with the news and I can guarantee you that things will turn around."

"I don't know Carrie… I don't think they will."

"Just promise me you'll think more about it and at least tell him before deciding."

Lyla nodded before leaving Carrie alone in the chapel.

* * *

"You don't have to leave yet," Jax said watching Tara pack her stuff from the bathroom. "We're heading out tonight. I just came by to pack a bag."

Tara stayed quiet as she continued to gather her stuff, which caused Jax to sigh. He knew she was angry and hurt by what happened this morning. But it was the only way he knew how to make her leave.

'I'm sorry about this morning."

"It's what you wanted," Tara stated pushing past him.

"I didn't want for you to get hurt."

"Yes you did. You think I'm responsible for what happened to Abel…you hate me but you can't say it," she said as she continued packing clothes into the duffel bag on the bed. "Your mother thinks you're protecting me."

"I am protecting you."

"From what?" Tara asked in exasperation.

"Donna…Abel…Sack. Take your pick."

"You're so full of shit. We both know nothing's going to happen to me. This is just about you needing a reason to feel good about bailing. So you can go and play house with Carrie," Tara stated walking past him. "Well guess what? The prince doesn't always get his way."

Jax stayed in the room for a couple of seconds, before going after her. Instead of stopping Tara, he watched her drive off.

"Look I'm sorry about earlier. I was pissed off. Didn't mean to take it out on you," Opie stated.

"I know," Lyla said in understanding.

She knew that he wasn't fond about her occupation but he still put up with it for her. The conversation with Carrie came to mind and she knew she had to tell Opie before he left for Belfast.

"I have to tell you something."

"What's going on?" Opie questioned handing his bag to Chibs.

"I want you to know how much I love you," Lyla began. "How sad I would be if anything happened to you."

She was going to tell Opie but lost her courage knowing now wasn't the time to tell him about the pregnancy. Instead she would take matters into her own hands. She just hoped that he would forgive her.

"Baby… I'm going to be okay. We're going to go find Abel and be back in a week. Pops and Carrie are going to help you take care of the kids."

At the sound of Carrie's name, Lyla felt guilty but decided to push past it.

"I love you,"

Opie stayed silent for a couple of seconds, "I love you too."

"You know Jax is going to throw a fit when he finds out you're coming along," Bobby stated.

Carrie looked at the guys looking at her. "He's going to have to suck it up. I'm not changing my mind."

"What about work?" Opie questioned.

"There's other hospitals around Charming," Carrie stated. "Besides I would have taken some time off anyways. Just decided to do it sooner."

Any other retort was cut off as they saw Tara's cutlass park next to the van.

"Cutting it close," Oswald stated as Jax stepped out.

"Sorry… we had to give somebody a ride," Jax informed as Gemma stepped out of the car.

"Not my idea," Jax explained as he passed Elliott.

"What are you doing here?" Jax questioned Carrie.

"Came to wish you guys luck and say goodbye," Carrie stated while giving the guys a look that had them going through their bags.

"Hey sweetheart," Gemma said interrupting anything Jax could have said.

"Hey Gemma. On the run again?" Carrie questioned with a teasing smile.

"You know me," Gemma simply stated.

As soon as Clay had hung up the phone, the club started gathering their stuff.

Carrie watched as Clay hugged Piney and Gemma gave him a kiss before leading the group.

"Take care of yourself," Piney stated as Carrie pulled back.

Nodding she made to grab her duffel bag but Opie intercepted her while motioning for her to follow him.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"To Belfast," Carrie simply stated as she continued walking.

Jax looked at Opie before stopping and looking back towards Piney, who merely shrugged.

"Don't even think about changing my mind," Carrie warned. "Because I won't."

Jax sighed in frustration before picking his pace up, with Opie and Carrie walking besides him. The only thought running through their minds was getting Abel back.

* * *

**So there you have it. Any predictions on what's going to happen next? Remember all suggestions or questions welcome. **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I know it's been a while since i have updated and I apologize. I was having a little bit of writer's block and life got in the way but I went back and rewatched the 9th episode of season 3 and got inspired again to write. So updates may be more frequent or more spaced out. Since I'm going to be rewatching whats left of Season 3 of SOA. So if any of the dialogue seems familiar in certain parts its because I got it from the show. Which I don't own even though I wish I did. So without further ado I hope this chapter makes up for the time that you waited until it was up.**

* * *

Chapter Five

Carrie was looking at the scenery as the van they were in came to a stop some feet behind the club.

"What the hell is that?" Gemma questioned.

Carrie leaned forward and saw the club had stopped in front of what seemed like a check point.

"Police services Northern Ireland. As long as they got ID they should be okay," Luther, the one who was driving, explained.

"This is bad," Gemma stated.

Carrie silently agreed as they continued to watch the scene before them.

"Can they do that?" Carrie asked as they watched the guys raise their hands and get on the ground.

"Don't make sense. They wouldn't be able to get the Intel. Not that quick," he answered.

Carrie gasped as she saw one of the cops hit Chibs and tightened her grip on the seat.

"Aww….shit," Gemma muttered.

They continued to watch as the guys were handcuffed and loaded into the back of the police van, after the little incident from Chibs hitting a cop had settled.

"Where are they going to take them?" Gemma desperately asked.

"Jesus… after all that ruckus. These assholes will probably just shoot and dump them. Blame it on their life."

Carrie looked at Luther, feeling her heart begin to race at what he had just explained.

"Step on the gas," Gemma said, which caused Carrie to look at her like she had lost her mind.

"What?" she questioned.

"Run them off the road," Gemma stated.

"I ain't going to broadside no police," Luther protested. "You're out of your bloody mind woman."

"Just step on the gas," Gemma ordered raising her voice.

"You hear the lady Luther," one of the guys sitting across from her said.

Carrie felt her breathing quickening as Luther started to protest which caused Gemma to take control of the situation.

"Holy shit," Luther screamed out at the same time that Carrie screamed out Gemma's name.

"Stay in here," Gemma ordered Carrie.

Shots rang out, causing her to lower herself and hide behind the passenger seat. As it quieted down, Carrie peered out and saw the cops had fled and the guys were being released.

She made her way out of the van and slowly stepped closer to where they were currently getting information out of one of the cops.

She was standing a couple of feet behind where everyone was standing around. She couldn't hear what they were saying but she could see them.

Instead of continue watching, Carrie looked around even though there wasn't much to see.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Carrie answered Jax.

"You sure?" he questioned as he stepped closer and placed his hand on her bump, hidden beneath her jacket.

"Yeah. We're good. Just had a mini heart attack with what Gemma pulled."

"That's my mother for you. Crazy as hell but with good intentions," Jax teased.

Carrie softly laughed before placing her hand over his.

Jax looked at her hand over his before looking at her. Whatever he had planned to say was forgotten as he saw Chibs' nephew.

"What the hell was that?" he questioned as he let his hand drop down to his side.

"Welcome to Ireland," Chibs' nephew teasingly answered.

_Yeah… what a very warm welcome_, Carrie sarcastically thought.

* * *

"Shit…two years no riding. No vote," Kozik said driving the tow truck. "Don't worry I'll let you ride bitch with me."

"That's going to be tough…you being up in Tacoma," Tig answered before shaking his head. "I ain't ever…ever letting you patch SAMCRO man."

"It's been eight years douche bag."

"Yeah and not a day goes by that I don't think about her," Tig answered before looking out the window of the truck.

* * *

Carrie stepped out of the van and watched as the guys were warmly greeted before noticing the two women approaching.

She noticed Gemma's demeanor change as she approached them with Clay and Jax following behind her.

"You doing okay?" Opie questioned Carrie as he approached her.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Carrie answered looking at him.

"That was a warm welcome wasn't it," Opie teased referring to their earlier encounter.

Carrie rolled her eyes. "You weren't the one who was risking their life to get you guys out of trouble," Carrie stonily said playing along.

Opie coughed to disguise his laugh but broke down at the look on Carrie's face as she recalled the event.

* * *

"Hey," Lyla called out.

"Hi," Tara answered as the blonde stopped in front of her.

"I just want to say I'm sorry about what happened yesterday with Ima."

"It's umm… not your fault. I saw you hit her."

Lyla looked down as she softly smiled at the ground.

"Thank you for that."

"My pleasure," Lyla sincerely answered. "Umm…could I ask a favor?"

"Okay," Tara cautiously answered.

"I need a good clinic for an abortion," Lyla explained as soon as they sat down. "Some place you can get in quick. Pay cash."

"How far along are you?"

"Not far. About eight weeks," Lyla answered.

"I can't think of any offhand… what about Kettleman?"

"They only have HMO's," Lyla answered shaking her head. "I don't want this on the book. Word gets out… could hurt potential gigs."

Tara nodded. "I'll ask around."

"Cool… thanks," Lyla said nodding before standing.

"Does Opie know?"

"No timing isn't right," Lyla answered. "I've been here before Doc."

* * *

"Sorry about earlier sweetheart," Gemma apologized as she sat on the couch across from Carrie.

"It's okay. No harm done," Carrie answered leaning back and making herself comfortable.

Anything else that Gemma could have said was cut off as they heard car doors slamming and the noise coming from outside quiet down. Carrie watched as Gemma got up and made her way towards the door. She stayed sitting down for a couple of seconds before curiosity got the best of her. Causing her to get up and stand behind Gemma.

A small smile crossed her features as she noticed Chibs embracing who she assumed must have been his daughter and wife. The latter which she briefly remembered seeing at St. Thomas visiting him.

"I'm going to go ahead and get settled into one of the rooms," Carrie softly told Gemma, afraid that if she spoke too loud she would break the moment Chibs was having.

"Help me take the bags into the rooms once you're finished settling in?"

"Yeah let me just leave my bag in one of the rooms," Carrie answered bending down to pick her bag up.

"It's alright sweetheart. Settle in and unpack first. This can wait," Gemma said after seeing how tired Carrie looked.

Carrie nodded before turning around and walking away. Leaving Gemma looking after her.

Carrie had just opened a door towards the end of the hall when she heard voices entering the inn. Knowing that they were most likely going to talk business, she went into the room and closed the door behind her. She knew if they wanted her to know they would look for her.

Looking around she noticed that the room was pretty bare except for a bed, a decent sized drawer against the wall near the door on the left hand side, a night stand on the left hand side of the bed and a coat rack on the right hand side near the corner of the wall.

Setting the small duffle bag on the bed, she slowly opened it before turning to open one of the drawers. She dragged her finger across the inside of drawer to see whether she would need to clean it first. Seeing that it wasn't dusty she started to put her clothes in the top drawer.

She had just put a shirt into the drawer when she saw the envelope she had stuffed in there while packing. It was the same envelope that Chief Unser had given her the day before at the hospital. The same one that David had written for her and now she didn't know what to do. Besides stare at it and feeling her heart race.

Stepping back, she leaned against the drawer as she stared at the duffle bag and tried to get her heart beat under control. Once she was calm enough she stepped closer to the bed and took the letter out of the bag before putting it on the nightstand. Deciding that the letter could wait until she was finished setting the little bit of clothes she had brought with her into the top drawer.

* * *

"I have no idea why Jimmy lied. I'm not privy to his plans. He doesn't trust me anymore," Fiona explained as she looked around at SAMCRO from her seat on the couch.

"Do you at least know what he's been up to since he's been back?" Chibs asked looking down at her.

Fiona scoffed, "Recruiting… he's been at his day and night."

"What about O'Neal? He on Jimmy's permanent pay roll?" Jax asked.

"Not that I know of but like I said these past few months been in the dark," Fiona answered.

"Sorry I have nothing that helps," she apologized looking at Gemma before looking at the rest of the group.

"It's okay. Thank you," Gemma answered.

* * *

_Carrie, _

_I hope that Unser doesn't have to give you this letter and that you never have to read this but in the occasion that you do. I just want to say that I'm sorry for everything I ever put you through. As well as for the way things ended between us. It was never my intention to hurt you but I want you to know that I never had anything to do with what Stahl did. I had no idea about her making it seem like she was your mother as a way to get information on the club. Everything she did, she did without my knowledge or consent. I would never purposely hurt you in any way and I regret not being able to apologize in person. _

_Although the biggest regret and what I'm most sorry for. Is the fact that you're now going to have to raise our son on your own and for that I'm am immensely sorry. But I know that you're going to be a great mother to him and you will raise him to the best of your abilities to ensure that he has the best life possible. I also know that even though you may be considered a single mother. You won't be raising our son on your own because you'll have your father and brother to help you._

_In fact I know Gemma and the club will help you as well and for that I'm grateful because I know you won't be alone. I know that in the past I judged them harshly and wanted you to have nothing to do with them and despite what I wanted. You were still around them and now that I know that Piney and Opie are your family. I know that the club is just the extended part of that small family and I know now that I could never keep you away from your family. Just like I could never really keep you away from Jax._

_It only took me months to realize this but now I know that he's the reason why you could never fully commit to me. I'm not placing the blame on either of you because you two aren't at fault. If anything I'm the one who should be blamed because I was the one who got in the middle. I guess I just finally wanted to have something that Jax never had. Although I was too late because in the short amount of time that whatever you had with him in the beginning started. Your heart was already his by the time it ended and even though you may have blamed him for your miscarriage. You could never hate him because you love him even though you may deny it and whether he knows it or not he loves you too. You two just need a little push in the right direction because I can see it every time he looks at you and I can see it every time you look at him._

_Which is why I talked to him. Not to tell him to leave you alone but to ask him to look after you and our son because I know that he'll look after the both of you when I can't be there to protect the two of you. I just hope that you'll let him be there for you because in the end you two deserve to be with each other. _

_I already know that you care for and love his son as if he were your own and would go to lengths to protect him. Just like if he truly loves you, like I know he does, he will care for and love our son as if he were his own. He may just need some reassurance from you that it's okay to think of our little boy as his own. Which it is because our son is going to need a father figure which I know that he'll have more than one but he's going to need that father figure at home. So let Jax be that father figure for him because there's no one better than him to step into that role completely. At least not willingly and with him I know that the both of you will be taken care of. _

_You two just need to talk things through in order to be able to move on together. I know it won't be easy and there's going to be a lot of bumps in the road but if anyone can make it to the end together. It's going to be you two because I have faith in you two. You and Jax just have to have faith and trust each other. Which is easier said than done but I know you two can make it happen. So don't wait until it's too late to say what you want and need to say to each other because you never know when it's too late. Don't wait to write it in a letter like I did._

_I want you to know that I truly did love you and I know that you truly cared for and loved me. It just wasn't the type of love that I felt for you. Which is okay because I just want you to be happy. So I hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me for everything and I hope that one day you will tell our son about me and how much I loved him. Even though I never got to meet or hold him. I loved him from the first moment I ever heard his heartbeat and saw him for the very first time. Just like I loved you. _

_So don't feel guilty about being with Jax or having our son call him dad because I know that to him Jax is the one who is going to be his father. I just hope that you two are able to realize before it's too late that you two are meant to be._

Carrie wiped away the tears she hadn't even realized she had been crying as she checked the bottom of the letter. Only to find there was no signature. It was almost as if he hadn't even finished writing everything that he wanted to say. Which only caused her to clutch the letter as she laid down and muffled her cries with the pillow.

Reading his letter had made her realize just how short and cruel life could be. David would never hold his son or see him grow up and their son would never know his biological father. She would never be able to apologize for everything she ever put him through.

Now she had a better understanding at the reasons of why David did what he did. Which only caused her to cry even more and before she knew it she had cried herself to sleep.

* * *

Jax walked out of his room following Juice and Trinity as they made their way down the hall only stopping when he saw Opie coming out of a room.

"That wasn't the room you chose earlier."

"It's Carrie's room," Opie answered. "Just wanted to check in on her and make sure she was alright."

"Is she?"

"She's asleep," Opie answered.

Jax nodded, "It's better if she gets some rest. Don't think jet-lag is good for her or the baby."

"Yeah. Where were you headed?" Opie questioned before moving away from the door.

"To drop Fiona and her daughter off at the church," Jax explained as they started making their way down the hall.

"I'll come with too," Opie stated.

* * *

Gemma and Clay had just walked through the door as Carrie walked out of the hallway.

"Nice of you to join the living," Gemma stated.

"Sorry. Was running on a couple of hours asleep," Carrie replied.

Deciding to keep the fact that she cried herself to sleep from them.

"You need to get all the rest and sleep you can get. You're going to need it once that baby comes."

"I know… I'm trying," Carrie said before walking past them.

"Take it easy you two. You can't be going at it like rabbits," Carrie teased pausing at the door.

Before walking out just in time to see a shirtless Jax in the middle of a semi-circle fighting one of the Belfast members.

Looking around from her spot on the wall, she couldn't pinpoint any familiar faces except for a certain blonde who was currently the center of attention.

She watched as his facial features and stance as he moved. To anyone else it seemed like a normal fight between club brothers but Carrie saw the small mannerisms that told it was something else to it.

Before she knew it the fight was over. With the other guy fairing worse than Jax. That's when she saw Opie, Bobby and Chibs making their way towards where she was standing.

"Bet you're proud of Jackie boy aren't ya lass?" Chibs questioned as they stopped in front of her.

"Oh yeah. Real proud," She answered before laughing with them.

"You might not want to go in there," Carrie warned as they made to open the door.

"Why not?" Opie questioned.

"Because Gemma and Clay are in there."

"So what?" Bobby asked.

"Don't say I didn't warn ya," Carrie said as she watched them go into the inn.

Turning around she was going to walk towards the picnic table to wait for Jax before she remembered she still had to call Piney and Lyla.

Taking one last look at Jax her eyes drifted to the picnic table and she realized she wasn't the only one who had her eyes on the SAMCRO VP.

* * *

"Thank again for this," Lyla said turning to Tara. "I don't really have any people besides Ope."

Lyla opted to keep Carrie's name out knowing that Tara and her didn't get along.

"It's okay. I don't mind," Tara answered.

"You must think I'm a freak. Porn star…baby killer."

Tara softly laughed, "I don't think that."

They both stayed silent after that.

"Sure you want to go through with it?"

"Yeah…I love Ope. It'd be nice to have kids with him one someday," Lyla answered.

"But not now?"

"Donna's ghost is pretty large in that house. Ope tries to let me in but fear of something awful happening keeps me on the outside," Lyla explained before they heard Sarah Palin being called out.

"I guess that's me," Lyla said standing up and following the nurse down the hall.

Once Lyla had disappeared down the hall Tara walked up to the front desk.

"Excuse me," she said catching the receptionist's attention. "I'd like to make an appointment."

"As a follow up for your friend?"

"No for me… I'm about seven weeks along."

"Sure hon, let's get you set up here."

"Thanks," Tara said grabbing the clipboard with the paperwork she needed to fill out.

* * *

Lyla had changed into the paper gown they gave her and had barely sat on top of the exam table when her phone rang.

Hopping down she made her way towards the chair where her phone was. Looking at the caller id seeing Carrie's name flash made her decline the call. Knowing that she couldn't answer the call without letting her know what she was up to.

She just hoped the guilt she felt would go away.

* * *

"Maureen said you had my son," Jax said as he sat down on the church bench.

"Well I know where he is…yes."

"What the hell does that mean? Do you have Abel or not?"

"Your son was in danger. That threat is still present."

"Jimmy," Jax stated.

"Aye."

"Why he has no reason to hurt my kid."

"Oh he has many. What I'm about to tell you Jackson is a very volatile subject. The words I say only God can be a witness. You understand?"

Jax nodded as he waited for Father Kellan to explain.

By the end he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You kill Jimmy O'Phelan and I'll make sure Abel goes home in the arms of his loving family."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thank you to those who reviewed the previous chapter. Also thank you to those who added this story to their favorites/follows list. I know it's been almost a month since I last updated. So to make up for that, here's a longer chapter. Which I stayed up late finishing as I rewatched S3Ep9. So if you recognize some of the dialogue from the show that's the reason why. Which I tend to use in the chapters now as I'm rewatching and writing. Which I don't own. I only take ownership of Carrie and everything else that isn't apart of the world Kurt Sutter created. Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter which happens to be the longest I have written for this story.**

* * *

Chapter Six

Carrie sat against the headboard of the bed rereading David's letter while she waited for Jax to come back. She needed to ask him the questions that David's letter had brought up. She needed to talk to him once and for all. They both had some unfinished business with each other and the only way they could move on would be to say everything they had and needed to say.

That was the only way they could both move on with their lives. Whether they moved on together or went their separate ways was still yet to be seen. But she knew the only way to figure things out would be to sit down and talk things out.

Staring at the wall in front of her, she knew that the timing wasn't perfect to have this talk with Jax. She should have talked to him right away after the miscarriage happened. Instead she pushed him away and shut him out. But now as she thought back she felt guilty for the way she had acted.

Was it justified? Sure, she was in pain after losing her baby. Was it right? Maybe at the moment but looking back. She shouldn't have done that.

He'd left her there because she had screamed at him to do so. Not because he didn't care. He'd gone to extract revenge on the ones who had hurt her and landed himself in jail. While she ran into the arms of another man. Instead of going to Jax and mourning the loss of their child because that baby had been as much his as it was hers. It was half of both them. She had let David be the one to comfort and console her.

He had been there for her and that's why she had led herself to believe that she could ever love him. Or that a relationship with him could work but she knew from the get go that it wouldn't. Yet she had pushed that felling aside and continued seeing him. Instead of letting him go and letting him continue his life. She had attached herself to him and forced herself to love him like he deserved. But failed and that only ended up hurting him because he had really loved her.

Carrie knew she loved him because he was there for her when she needed him and because he was the father of the baby she's expecting. But she now knew or at least she realized now that she wasn't in love with him and she never could or would have been in love with him.

So was David right? Was she in love with Jax? Was it possible that she had given her heart to him without even realizing it? That he was the reason why she couldn't love David like he wanted?

She didn't have the answers to most of them but she knew that it hurt when Jax and Tara moved in together. Just like it had hurt when he stood her up almost a year ago. Just like she knew that being around him just felt right. There was a spark between them, she couldn't deny that but was it enough to be justified as love?

Looking back down at the letter she saw what had caused all of these questions and feelings to swirl around her.

_You could never hate him because you love him even though you may deny it and whether he knows it or not he loves you too. You two just need a little push in the right direction because I can see it every time he looks at you and I can see it every time you look at him._

Hearing a knock on the door pulled her out her reverie. Looking up she expected to see Jax. Instead she found her brother leaning against the open door.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" she heard him question her as she started to fold the letter.

"Couldn't sleep so I decided to do some reading," she explained holding up the letter before setting on top of the envelope on the night stand.

"So you're not waiting on Jax to come back?"

Carrie looked at Opie, who was staring intently at her, and felt like she couldn't make eye contact with him. So instead she opted to picking at the blanket under her.

"You know he might not come back tonight. So you might as well get some sleep. Whatever you want to tell him can wait," Opie stated before wishing her a good night and leaving closing the door behind him.

Carrie knew what she had to say to Jax could wait. She just didn't know if her resolve would fade away if she continued to wait until the time was right.

* * *

Jax stayed behind after his talk with Kellan Ashby thinking about the talk he had just had with the priest. Before deciding he needed to make a call.

"You ever hear of Kellan Ashby?" he questioned as soon as the other person answered the call.

"_Are you in Belfast?"_

"Yeah."

"_Then I'm guessing that's where Gemma is."_

"Listen…I had no idea that was going down," Jax explained.

"_Escaping Custody is another federal charge."_

"We can talk about that shit later. Kellan Ashby. He's a priest… what do you know about him?"

"_He's a friend of the Army right?"_

"More than a friend…he's a shot caller. I need to know everything about him."

"_Why?"_

"He's got Abel and he wants me to Kill Jimmy to get him back."

Stahl was silent on the line for a couple of seconds before he heard some rustling around.

"_Listen to me Jimmy O dies… so does our deal. I need you to deliver him to me alive."_

"I know. I'll figure it out. Just get me some intel on the priest."

He noticed the immediate change in Stahl's voice and hung up knowing someone had walked in on Stahl.

* * *

Carrie stood leaning against the hall doorway dressed in an old SAMCRO shirt of Opie's and a pair of shorts. She stared at the floor while the guys found a spot to stand or sit so they could hear what Jax had to say.

In the mean time she let her mind wander to the night before and how she had stayed up a while longer, constantly fighting off sleep, for Jax to come back so she could talk to him. Before realizing that it was a useless notion and that it would be better for her to sleep.

"So what do we know?" Clay asked gaining everyone's attention.

"Kellan says he moved Abel out of Belfast to protect him…from Jimmy."

"Why? What does Jimmy want with Abel?" Gemma asked what Carrie had been thinking.

"Leverage against what Kellan wants from us. Jimmy dead," Jax explained looking at them. "Apparently he's become a problem for the Army."

"Then we kill Jimmy," Gemma stated.

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is," Gemma argued.

"No it isn't," Jax said raising his voice while looking at his mother. "Look everything they say is like smoky truth. I don't trust them. I don't trust their priest. The only thing we know for sure is he wants Jimmy."

"So we find Jimmy," Clay calmly said from his spot on the couch. "Trade him for Abel."

"I think that's the only thing that makes sense. We can't kill O'Phelan," Jax stated watching Gemma pace around.

"Should I bring SAMBEL up to speed on this?" Juice questioned.

"No as far as they know we want Jimmy to grill him about Abe. Let's just leave it at that," Jax said.

"SAMBEL has a protection run this afternoon," Bobby informed. "Gun shipment. McGee told me Jimmy will be at the pickup in Dungloe."

"Then so are we," Opie stated from his spot.

"I'm sorry guys. I had no idea what I was walking you into," Carrie heard Jax say as she started walking back to the room to get ready.

* * *

She had just pulled on the leggings when her door abruptly opened. Quickly grabbing her shirt, she slipped it on before turning.

"Hey," she softly said as she started slipping on her flats.

"Sorry. Didn't know you were changing," Jax explained.

"It's okay. It's not like you haven't seen it before," Carrie answered before realizing what she had said and turning a subtle shade of red.

The hope that he hadn't heard her was swept away as she looked at him. He didn't say anything but he was sporting his signature smirk. Which had her softly groaning at the fact that she had something like that in the first place.

"Is there something you wanted?" Carrie asked in an attempt to move past the awkwardness that she felt.

"Just wanted to see how you were doing. Haven't seen much of you since we got here."

"Yeah. I fell asleep yesterday but I woke up just in time to see you fight one of the Belfast guys," Carrie explained as she pulled on a cardigan.

"I didn't see you," Jax said.

"Came out after Gemma and Clay came inside," Carrie said as she started walking towards him.

"By the way it seems like you left quite the impression," Carrie stated stopping in front of him, making sure they had some distance between them.

"SAMBEL has to see I'm more than just a pretty face,' Jax joked crossing his arms across his chest.

Carrie softly laughed, "Glad you were able to prove your point but I wasn't talking about the club Jax."

"You mean Trinity?"

"Yeah, seems like you gained another admirer," Carrie joked.

"She can admire all she wants. Nothing is ever gonna happen," Jax explained.

"I forgot nobody can compete with Tara," Carrie stated moving past him towards the door.

* * *

Jax sighed as he watched Carrie leave. She hadn't given him the chance to finish explaining. He knew as soon as her demeanor had changed that what he had said was going to make her think of Tara. Yet he wasn't fast enough to explain that Tara was no longer the reason and that he now had his shit together.

He knew he had to talk to her but right now he had to focus on the task at hand. Carrie would just have to wait.

* * *

Carrie looked around her as the SAMCRO and SAMBEL got ready for the run. Even though the Charming boys were only serving as an escort she still had an uneasy feeling that something could wrong.

"Stop stressing out. It's not good for you or the baby," Opie stated.

"I can't help it. Something could go wrong."

"We're just escorting them. Nothing can go wrong with that," He said giving her arm a reassuring squeeze.

Instead of answering she looked towards Jax, who had just gotten on his bike, and looked towards the direction he was staring. She saw both him and Trinity briefly nod towards each other before everyone's attention went towards the black car that was pulling into the lot.

Seeing that it was the priest and Chibs' wife and daughter, everyone went back to minding their own business.

"You're going to be safe right?" Carrie questioned as she turned back towards Opie.

"I'll be back don't worry about me. Everything will be fine."

"You're my brother. How can I not worry about you," Carrie stated before hugging him.

Carrie stepped back and saw the small notion that Opie did. Turning, she found Jax back on his bike and briefly glance in their direction.

"You'll be safe right?" Carrie asked stepping closer to him.

"Yeah," Jax answered briefly pausing in putting his helmet on. "Don't worry we'll be back later."

Carrie nodded before bending to give him a kiss on the cheek but at the last moment Jax turned towards her. Their lips met in a brief kiss.

"Sorry," Jax apologized seeing Carrie's flustered appearance.

"Just be safe," Carrie stated before stepping back. "Both of you."

Jax and Opie nodded before starting their bikes.

Carrie stepped back so she was out of the way and watched as they started pulling out of the lot. The uneasy feeling only coming back stronger as she stood next to Gemma watching them disappear from view.

* * *

"Send them through," O'Neil called out as he walked back towards them.

"We'll pass through first. Then they'll check your ID's. Shouldn't be a problem," He explained slapping Jax on the shoulder before driving past the check point.

"What the hell do we do now?" Opie questioned.

"They paid them," Juice stated.

"Yeah but for what?" Jax questioned not liking what was happening.

"Let's find out," Clay stated, starting his bike and pulling forward when they were motioned to move.

"Where you headed?" Questioned the cop who was checking Clay's passport.

"Coast. Got a charter up in Dungloe," Clay answered.

"Go on then," he said handing his passport back.

He stepped back before giving them the pass without any problems or disturbances.

* * *

They had just started clearing up the table, when Carrie excused herself to go use the bathroom. Being pregnant had its advantages and disadvantages. Having to go to the bathroom constantly just happened to be the latter.

Carrie was washing her hands when she heard the wiggling of the door knob. Thinking someone wanted to use the bathroom she quickly dried her hands before opening the door. The last thing she expected was for someone to have a gun trained on her.

"Let's go," the man said motioning for her to get out.

Grabbing a hold of her arm, she had no choice but to be dragged behind him or risk getting shot.

He moved down the hall until he found Maureen and Kerrianne in one of the rooms and promptly made them follow him.

He finally let his grip loosen as they neared the kitchen before letting go and pushing Carrie forward after Kerrianne and Maureen. Carrie had been focused on the man who she assumed to be Jimmy O'Phelan to notice the slumped body of Michael Casey.

Until she heard Kerrianne scream. Which caused her to look at the table. She felt a knot in her throat and herself start shaking as she covered her mouth to keep herself quiet. While Kerrianne cried and Maureen tried to calm her down and Gemma and Fiona stood near the sink.

Carrie felt as if she couldn't move or make a sound as she felt her heart start racing. Being a nurse had her used to seeing something like this but having two men with guns and a dead body in the kitchen had her feeling as she were going into shock.

"Do I have to kill another one Fi to show you how much I love you," Jimmy spoke training his gun on Gemma. "I'm taking my family home."

Carrie heard Fiona agree and Kerrianne say that her stuff was in the room. Before Jimmy told the other guy who Carrie heard his name was Donny to retrieve her things.

He had barely walked out of the kitchen before they heard gunshots which caused everyone to move.

Carrie moved closer to Fiona and Kerrianne to get out of the line of fire, while Maureen stabbed Jimmy in the hand which caused him to drop his gun and Gemma to quickly grab and point it at Jimmy.

Donny came rushing back into the kitchen and trained his gun on Maureen and Gemma started yelling for him to drop the gun. Which he was really reluctant to do. Before Jimmy nodded for him to do as she said.

Causing Fiona to grab it and Maureen to run out calling for Trinity. While both Carrie and Kerrianne seemed to start shaking even more at what was happening.

Carrie couldn't hear anything besides the ringing in her ears from the gunshots and the sound of her heart beat. While she felt the little fluttering of her baby moving, causing her to softly rub and cradle her baby bump. While trying to calm her breathing and racing heart.

She could faintly hear Gemma tell Maureen to take Trinity and Kerrianne as the ringing started fading away.

"You should go too Carrie," Gemma said as she glanced at her.

"I'm fine," Carrie faintly said trying to be control her emotions to make sure Gemma didn't do something that could jeopardize everyone.

She saw Gemma barely nod before yelling at Maureen to get the girls out.

As soon as they left, Fiona trained the gun on Gemma and raised a hand to keep Carrie behind her.

"Put it down," Fiona said cocking the gun.

"What the hell are you doing," Gemma said glancing at her but not budging.

"Protecting you. Give me the gun," Fiona demanded.

"I gotta kill this son of a bitch," Gemma softly stated.

Causing Carrie to step closer and Fiona to gently push her back. She could see Jimmy's calm expression from the corner of her eye.

"Not before I kill you," Fiona said.

Carrie wanted to scream at Gemma to do as she was told but knew that it would only make matters worse and she couldn't move past Fiona. Which would only cause Gemma to act irrationally. So she had no choice but to stay where she was and watch the scene before her or risk someone else getting shot.

Gemma reluctantly handed the gun to Fiona causing her to drop her hand to reach for the gun. Finally allowing Carrie to move away from her as she trained one of the guns on Jimmy.

"Shut up and get out," Fiona demanded.

Carrie kept her eye on the other gun before jumping back as Fiona quickly trained both guns on Donny and Jimmy.

"Gemma always a pleasure," Jimmy said before getting up and facing Fiona. "I'll see you real soon love."

Carrie could sense the underlying message of Jimmy's words but Fiona didn't seem to care as she didn't waiver her grip on the guns or her gaze from Jimmy's.

Fiona finally put the guns down and Gemma moved to take a swing at her which only caused Fiona to swing back at her and hit her in the stomach. Causing her to gasp and hunch over.

Carrie moved to check on her only for Gemma to wave her away as she sat down in the seat Jimmy had previously occupied.

"Why the hell did you stop me?"

"She did the right thing Gemma. You killing Jimmy would have only caused more problems," Carrie spoke up.

Gemma glared at her, "It would have solved our problems getting rid of him."

"She's right Gemma. You kill Jimmy and his crew would kill your whole family. Total bloody genocide," Fiona argued.

"You don't know," Fiona said sighing.

* * *

"Where's Jimmy?" Jax asked McGee while the rest moved the guns.

"He's on his way."

"You talk to him?" Clay questioned.

"Look Jimmy never misses a transport. He'll be here," McGee explained.

* * *

"What are you doing here? I thought I cleared you're schedule," Margaret Murphy said as she walked in on Tara.

"I wasn't the one having the procedure yesterday. It really was a friend," Tara said taking her surgeon's cap off.

"I'm sorry I jumped to that conclusion," Margaret apologized.

"Well," Tara said sighing. "You weren't wrong. I am pregnant. I made an appointment for today so I'll need my day cleared tomorrow."

"Do you have a ride?"

"I'll take a cab," Tara answered.

"That's ridiculous. I can take you."

"That's okay."

"It's not that far out of my way," Margaret explained.

Causing Tara to agree before she left.

* * *

"That was Mo. Jimmy's in Belfast. He was looking for Fiona," McGee explained.

"What happened?" Chibs questioned.

"They're all okay," McGee reassured them.

Though it did nothing to calm them down knowing that anything could have happened.

"Hey," Booby called out as he saw the doors to the bar being closed.

Causing all of them to run to try to open them only to find that they couldn't. So they started moving them and calling out for someone to open them.

"No! Don't!" Chibs yelled as he heard someone try to start the truck.

Causing everyone to run and try to take cover as the truck started only for nothing to happen. Before they started yelling at the guy to drive the truck into the doors as gun shots were heard outside.

Doing as they said they all ran out as soon as the door were busted open only for the truck to explode sending them flying in different directions.

The explosion left Jax with a ringing in his ears as he dropped back down to the floor. While everyone else tried to get up and figure out the damage caused by the explosion.

Jax couldn't focus since everything was too bright but he could practically see and hear his dad in front of him. Before getting his bearings and finding Clay in front of him calling out to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Jax answered reaching out to grab Clay's extended hand.

Standing up he was able to look around at the damage the explosion had done. Seeing wounded club brothers and body parts laying around. As well as dead bodies.

"This was Jimmy," Clay stated as they were all gathered around Chibs and Padraic's body.

"We don't know that," McGee said with O'Neil walking behind him.

"Where the hell were you," Jax loudly questioned at O'Neil.

"I was taking a shite. Your boys were watching," O'Neil retorted.

"The explosion was seen for miles. We got to get out of here now," Bobby said cutting in before a brawl happened between Jax and O'Neil.

"Load the wounded," Clay stated. "Let's go."

"Chibs. I'm sorry but we got to go," Jax said kneeling down and grabbing a hold of him as Opie took Chibs' other side.

"No," Chibs started to protest as they lifted him up.

"He's gone,' Jax repeated as he fought against them.

"You bastards are dead," Chibs called out still fighting Jax and Opie so they would let him go.

* * *

"You're safe here. Let's get you to the rectory and let Sean grieve," Kellan Ashby said as they stood in the aisle of ST. Matthews.

"Come on girls," Maureen softly said prompting them all to move.

Carrie followed after them, before turning back to see Gemma wasn't following them.

"Gemma," Carrie softly called out to her.

Gemma's only response was for her to nod after the other four. Silently telling her to leave.

* * *

Gemma watched as they left before taking a seat on one of the benches prompting Kellan to sit down as well.

"Why are you doing this to us?" She questioned him. "If you know where my grandson is just tell me."

"I know it seems unfair. You and your son are caught up in a very ugly struggle and I am sorry for that. The things I do are not just about my Irish loyalty. They're about keeping promises to your family," he explained.

"To my family?"

"John and I grew very close while he was here. I loved him dearly."

"Guess you're the one who granted him absolution from adultery," Gemma stated.

"No. He struggled greatly with his love for you."

Gemma shook her head, "John bailed on his family. I watched my baby slip into a coma. While he was here and played house with your sister. So don't tell me how he struggled," She argued.

"I didn't mean to be dismissive. Your pain I understand,"

"You don't understand shit," Gemma said cutting him off. "Hypocrites. All of ya."

* * *

"Take the prospects out around back,' Kozik told Tig.

"No you take the prospects around back. We're going through the front," Tig argued.

"Twenty count," Kozik said before making his way with one of the prospects around back.

While Piney, Tig and the other prospect made their way to the front.

"Should I be counting from now or when they left?" the prospect asked stopping Tig.

Piney shot the front door and Tig grab the prospect, instead of answering, and throw him into the door causing him to open the door.

"I'm good," the prospect called out.

"Shut up," Tig answered pushing him out of the way.

"It's empty. No Salazar," Kozik stated.

"Shit." Tig said.

* * *

They had arrived back at the compound shortly before the guys came back. Trinity and Maureen had gone up to their apartment. While the four of them made their way into the lodge.

Gemma and Fiona set about making tea. While Carrie and Kerrianne sat on the couch still a little shaken up about what had happened earlier. However they were calmer then they had been at the rectory.

Carrie sat there slowly running her hands over her bump and thinking how they had only been in Belfast for two days but it felt a lot longer with all the shitty drama happening.

"How far a long are you?"

Carrie stopped her movements but continued to cradle her bump ash she turned to see Kerrianne facing her.

"18 weeks but I'll be 19 weeks on Thursday."

Kerrianne nodded, "Do you know what you're having?"

"Doctor said it was a boy but she also said there could be a slight chance it was a girl but she doubted that was the case," Carrie answered.

"Do you have the name picked out yet?"

Carrie absentmindedly started to rub her bump again as she nodded. Thinking back to the agreement she had made with David about the name. If it was a girl she would choose the first name and he would choose the middle name and vice versa if it was a boy.

"Benjamin," Carrie softly said before looking up at Kerrianne. "Benjamin David."

"That's a nice name," Kerrianne said softly smiling at her.

"Thank you," Carrie said returning the smile.

"You're welcome."

They heard doors slam outside and they tensed fearing the worst as Gemma and Fiona made their way out of the kitchen telling them to stay inside.

Carrie and Kerrianne looked at each other as they heard voices get louder and nearer before standing up. As SAMCRO walked in.

Kerrianne made a beeline towards her parents as Carrie took in their appearance. Immediately knowing something went wrong on the run.

She watched Opie make his way towards one of the leather armchairs before starting to make her way towards him. Only for him to shake his head and wave her off towards Jax.

Carrie briefly stopped behind him to squeeze his shoulder as she made her way towards Jax.

Jax looked up as she neared him causing Carrie to briefly stop walking, before closing the distance and throwing her arms around him as he pulled her as close to him as he could.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Carrie murmured into his shoulder.

Receiving a gentle squeeze in return before she felt him kiss her head.

"We're all okay and that's all the matters," she heard him softly say.

They stayed wrapped up for a couple more seconds before Jax pulled back.

"You should get some rest," he told her running his thumb against her cheek.

She nodded hugging him one more time before walking away. Stopping to wrap her arms around her brother and give him a kiss on the cheek before making her way towards her room. Feeling the weight of everything hit her all at once. Draining whatever energy she had left. Only to find herself unable to sleep and only able to lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. Having the day's events on constant repeat.

* * *

Jax lit a cigarette as he took his phone out making a call to the number that was starting to become all too familiar.

_"Hello?"_

"Can you talk?"

_"Yeah," Stahl answered before he heard some rustling on the line. "I ran Kellan Ashby through every data base that I could. Its common knowledge that he's a friend of the cause but nothing ties him."_

Jax stayed quiet as he heard Stahl explain everything she was able to find out.

_"There's no arrests. No seizures. He's never been interrogated .He's a revered priest whose turned down three promotions from the Vatican."_

"Saint."

_"Yeah I'm afraid so."_

"I got another name for you. Liam O'Neil. SOA Belfast."

_"One of yours?"_

"Pretty sure he and Jimmy tried to blow us up today."

_"Are you alright?"_

"Yeah but five others are spread out outside Dungloe," Jax said as he noticed Trinity making her way down the stairs.

_"Okay look… I need you back in one piece. Okay Jax?"_

"I appreciate your concern," he said as his mouth twisted into a brief smile.

He managed to hang up after that as Trinity got nearer.

"Spare a fag?" she questioned as he started to take a drag.

Instead of answering he took his pack and lighter out. Offering her one before lighting it for her.

"It's almost three. Why aren't you in bed?" he questioned after she settled down next to her.

"I'm not much of a sleeper."

"Yeah I get that," he stated looking down at the ground.

"How are you Jackson?" she questioned causing him to look up at her.

"I'm tired Trinity," he said shaking his head.

"Yeah," she softly replied as she looked down at the ground.

Causing him to scoot closer as he wrapped his arm on her shoulder. As they continued to stare ahead.

* * *

Gemma walked out to have a smoke only to stop at the sight of her son and Trinity sitting on the picnic table huddled together. With his arm thrown around her shoulder.

Hearing the door close behind her had her turning around to find Carrie standing frozen looking at the scene before them.

Gemma opened her mouth to say something only for Carrie to shake her head as she scoffed and turned back around to go into the lodge. Leaving her to look back at her son.

All the while thinking shit had just gotten more complicated.

* * *

They had just stopped at a stop sign going home from the clinic when a car hit the rear of the car.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." Tara answered before they both got out of the car.

"Doesn't look like there's any damage," Margaret told the other driver after she examined the car.

"Hey. I know you," the driver of the car said. "You're Jax Teller's girl right?"

Tara didn't know what to say as Margaret looked between them.

"Uhh…yeah…who are you?" she questioned as she heard the car door open.

Looking behind her to see a man step out she missed the driver taking out a gun. Until she heard Margaret gasp causing her to turn back around.

"Whoa," she said trying to remain calm as the gun was moved between her and Margaret.

"Brunette's the old lady."

"What about the redhead? She an old lady too?"

"I'm a doctor at ST. Thomas hospital she's a supervisor," she informed them.

"Check her ink."

Tara watched as Margaret's arms were checked before she was turned around. To reveal the ink she had tattooed on her back.

He laughed, "Oh she's a supervisor alright."

Before they were both forced into Margaret's car.

* * *

**So there you have Chapter Six. What did you guys think about this one? Do you guys like the name of the baby? Any predictions or suggestions as to what you want to see happen are welcome. If you have any, of course if I choose to use them you will get full credit. Any questions about this chapter i will be happy to answer. So don't be shy to drop a review, add this story as a favorite/follow or PM with questions regarding this story. I also wanted to say that you might not read the Tara scenes involving her kidnapping often in the story. Unless i decide that it's beneficial to the story. With that said I hope you enjoyed this new chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Here's the next Update. Please excuse any mistakes. This chapter is the turning point in the Jax/ Carrie relationship. So i hope you won't be disappointed in reading it. Thank you for the lovely reviews on the previous chapter and for the follows/favorites. I also want to thank my best friend Nicole for helping me figure some things out. (DISCLAIMER: I do not own dialogue, characters or anything recognizable from SOA. They belong to Kurt Sutter and FX.) With that said i hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

Chapter Seven

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Carrie said drinking a glass of water. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem like something is bothering you."

"You mean that scene out there?" Carrie questioned placing the empty glass in the sink. "Jax can do whatever the hell he wants."

Carrie didn't wait for Gemma to respond as she walked away. It was true that Jax was able to do what he wanted but seeing it still hurt.

Yet she kept thinking about that one line in David's letter. That had her thinking that maybe he had been reading too much into Jax's actions. There was no way that he could love her when he so easily went after whoever was close enough.

Carrie stopped by Opie's room to check on him but he was already sleeping. So she closed the door and made her way towards the room she was staying.

She quickly changed into her sleeping clothes. Only to find that sleep seemed to be evading her. Instead letting her thoughts whirl around in her head, she opened the door so she wouldn't feel as if the room was closing in on her because of her thoughts and jumbled feelings.

"You're still up."

Looking towards the door she saw Jax leaning against the door jam.

"Can't sleep," Carrie said as she watched him step into the room.

"You need to rest," Jax softly said. "Is something bothering you?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"I said I'm fine," Carrie snapped looking at him, before changing her gaze to the wall in front of the bed.

Carrie heard Jax sigh before she saw him walk towards the door. Instead of leaving he simply closed the door. Before crossing his arms and leaning against the drawer where her clothes were in.

"I know you're not fine. So spill it," Jax said. "Is it what happened with Jimmy?"

"No it's not. So you can leave."

She knew she was acting like a bitch but he couldn't just walk in here acting like he cared. Not after what she saw.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what the hell has you acting like this," Jax argued.

"Why do you care?"

"Because I do and I'm sure you keeping shit bottled up isn't good for you or the baby," Jax argued. "So spill it."

"Why don't you go back to Trinity and leave me alone. I'm sure she actually wants your company," Carrie snapped standing up.

"That's what this is about? Trinity?" Jax questioned fighting a smile. "You jealous? Well nothing is going on between me and her."

"I'm not jealous and what I saw says otherwise."

"Yes you are," Jax said walking closer. "And I was just comforting her."

"I'm not jealous," she argued.

"Whatever you say Carrie but we both know you are. Now get some rest," he stated before kissing her forehead and leaving.

* * *

Jax had stayed up late the night before causing him to sleep in. Before he was woken up by his visitor.

Now he had everyone gathered to relay what Kellan Ashby had told him.

"Kellan need us to prove Jimmy blew up that gun truck," he informed them.

"And what about Abel," Gemma argued.

"Same promise. We get Jimmy…we get Abel."

"Then we start with O'Neil," Clay stated.

"Yeah," Jax agreed. "Him and Jimmy's guys were the only ones not in that barn."

"Any remote detonator could cover that distance," Opie explained. "It had to be him."

"O'Neil's their officer. We call him out as a rat. We pretty much condemn the whole charter," Bobby informed them.

"Maybe it's time we start to look at that," Clay stated. "How do we know Jimmy didn't turn others?"

"Because my boys are loyal to the MC," McGee interrupted as he walked into the room. "You're right about O'Neil. The Irish became more important than the patch."

"Well that's not what you told me," Clay argued.

"Because I like to give my boys the benefit of the doubt Clay," McGee defended. "But after yesterday. There's no doubt left. He's gone. His flat's empty. He's gotta be with Jimmy."

"Son of a bitch," Chibs swore loudly.

* * *

Carrie watched as the club left Maureen's shop. After the interrogation had led them nowhere. They weren't able to get O'Neil's location out of Cherry with her saying she didn't know anything. Even though they all knew she was lying.

"You hear what happened to Sack?" Gemma questioned moving closer to Cherry.

"Yeah."

Carrie thought it was a low blow to use Kip but if that got Cherry to talk and get them closer to finding O'Neil. So they were closer to finding Abel. Then she would go along with it if she had to.

"You know O'Neil is connected to that."

"Bullshit," Cherry argued.

Gemma briefly glanced at Carrie before looking towards Maureen. Causing Cherry to look at her too.

"No, she's right. Both Cammy and Liam…both under Jimmy's authority," Maureen informed Cherry. "You know Liam was privy to your man getting a knife in the belly."

"And you protecting this guy makes you just as guilty," Gemma added to what Maureen had said.

"O'Neil isn't in the MC anymore," Gemma stated as Cherry began to deny again. "He turned on his brothers and he bailed on you."

Cherry looked torn before continuing to cover for him or spilling everything she knew.

"Think about Kip, Cherry. Do you think he would want you covering for the one responsible for his death," Carrie spoke up for the first time. "If you know something. You need to tell us."

"Just tell them what you know Cher," Trinity stated.

Carrie briefly glanced at her before returning her gaze on Cherry. Who finally seemed as if she would be spilling everything.

"Alright," Cherry said sighing. "Last week I found a lot of cash in his pocket…so it made me curious and I went looking through his things."

She looked at the four of them watching her, "I dug up two receipts for bank accounts. Both with a lot of money and a contract for some kind of loft down by the docks."

"So maybe he's there," Cherry suggested.

Carrie watched as Maureen grabbed Cherry by the neck, as soon as she had finished talking, pushing her back while tightening her grip.

"Never. Ever. Lie to the club. Do you hear me," Maureen demanded through clenched teeth.

"Get the club," Maureen ordered at Trinity after she had let Cherry go.

Carrie watched as Trinity walked out but didn't miss the look that passed between Gemma and Maureen. It was brief but she saw the approval and understanding.

Cherry was still holding her neck and trying to return her breathing to normal when the club walked back in. Causing them to look at her before looking around at the three of them.

As Jax's gaze lingered on her, Carrie simply shrugged before crossing her arms.

"Will you able to talk or do you want me to do it for you?" Gemma asked as she noticed that Cherry was still holding her neck.

Carrie stayed silent as Cherry got herself together and told them what she had confessed earlier.

* * *

"He wants us to kill Alvarez and steal a quarter of a mil from his home safe," Piney informed Tig and Kozik of the call with Salazar.

"This guy's gone off the deep end man," Kozik said looking between Tig and Piney.

"You're certain that Salazar's got Tara?" Tig questioned.

"Yeah. He took her and the red head from the hospital. We don't deliver in 24 hours. Then they're dead," Piney explained.

"We gotta let Jax know," Kozik stated.

"No. He's got a lot on his plate," Piney argued.

"Yes he does," Tig agreed. "We need to handle this."

"We got to reach out to Alvarez. Get him to play along." Kozik suggested. "Only he could supply intel on Salazar. He might know where he's got the girls."

"Don't let that horse truce fool you. The Mayans hate us," Piney argued.

"What else are we going to do? Whack Alvarez and start a blood war," Kozik argued. "It's our only shot."

"What if he says no?" Tig questioned. "He can say no. Then we played our hand and the girls are dead."

"He's a smart guy. He's got a family. He'll get it," Kozik explained.

Tig turned to look at Piney causing Kozik to look at him too.

Piney only rolled his eyes in response. Knowing they were going to talk to Alvarez.

"Better be right," Tig stated getting up.

Piney sighed and threw his unlit cigarette onto the table. Before following Tig and Kozik out of the chapel.

* * *

"So you and Jax finally got together," Cherry said motioning towards her baby bump.

Carrie softly rubbed it, "No. It's not his."

"You and Opie?"

Carrie shook her head, "He's my brother," she informed Cherry softly laughing.

"Juice?"

Carrie laughed shaking her head, "He wasn't a member of the MC."

"So who is the dad then?"

"David Hale," Carrie answered.

"Shit. Wow…you got knocked up by the Deputy Chief and he's okay with you being here?"

"He can't say anything about it anyways," Carrie said. "He's dead."

"Shit. I'm sorry," Cherry said looking down at the picnic table they were sitting on.

"It's okay."

They both stayed for a couples of seconds. Carrie occasionally moved her hair from her face as a soft breeze blew by.

"He really loved you," Carrie stated breaking the silence. "Even though you guys were only together for a short amount of time."

Cherry looked up at her before looking back down. Carrie didn't say anything else as she watched Cherry pick at her boot.

"I really loved him too," she softly stated.

"He was buried a full patched member," Carrie informed her squeezing her hand.

"I'm glad. He deserved it."

"Yeah," Carrie agreed. "He did."

They were quiet again while they thought of him. Each having different memories but still thinking of the same person. As they watched the sun slowly begin to set.

* * *

"How'd you get my address?" Alvarez asked as he kept the gun pointed at them.

"Got it from Salazar man," Tig answered. "Know what he's done? He's kidnapped Jax's old lady and a woman she works with."

"Are you serious?"

"He's got a very interesting list of demands," Piney stated.

"Salazar wanted us to come here and kill you," Tig informed. "Then take the 250k you got hidden in your safe."

"Know what I got in that safe? Two old watches, insurance policies and my kids' baby teeth," Alvarez explained.

"Shit," Tig muttered.

"We'll get the money from somewhere else. What we need to from you is to play dead. Just until we get Tara back," Kozik explained.

"Excuse me?"

"Just put it on the street man. It'll get back to Salazar and buy us some time," Tig answered.

"Do you know what that does to my business? If my competition thinks I'm dead," Alvarez argued.

"Marcus…we just need twenty four hours. Then you can rise from the dead and all those vatos will go spooky respect with that shit," Piney stated.

"You come to my house. Where my family is. Pull guns and make demands. Do you have any idea what I can do to you?"

"Look it was stupid of us to come here. We get it but Jax's son is already missing. The thought of him losing the girl he loves…we can't let that happen. We're really sorry we upset you're family but we're desperate. You're the only shot we got at rescuing those women," Kozik stated. "We'll make it up to you somehow. Please."

Alvarez looked at them before looking back at the house.

"Alright. I'll play dead twenty four hours. That's it," he stated.

"Thank you," Kozik said.

"But you come here again. Truce or no truce. I'll kill all of you," Alvarez warned.

* * *

"I asked the Father to bring you here," Brendan Roarke, member of the IRA council said. "Wanted to thank you personally. This information confirms the suspicions about Jimmy we've had for quite some time. We know you risked your lives to get it. We owe you."

"How do we get to Jimmy?" Clay questioned him.

"That's an army matter," Declan Brogan answered. "He's a traitor and will be dealt with as such."

"That's not the deal," Jax said looking at Kellan.

"I'm afraid it is Jackson," the priest stated.

"What are you talking about?" he questioned standing up and raising his voice. "You said I would get support to take out Jimmy."

"Hey…easy. Easy," Clay said calming him down. "Not here."

"This is a sensitive situation. Has to be dealt with internally. I'm sure you can understand that lad," Peter Dooley, another IRA council member stated.

"Jax and I have some outside issues to discuss," Kellan announced. "We'll do that later son."

* * *

Carrie walked back into the living room of the lodge as Jax was walking in.

"What happened brother?" she heard Opie question.

"I went to Saint Matts. Kellan wasn't there and Casey wouldn't tell me where he was."

"Well the cops found the bodies at the docks," Bobby informed Jax. "They're going to come here asking questions."

"We find Abel. Catch Oswald's plane tomorrow night and get the hell off this moss covered shit hole," Opie stated.

"Amen brother," Chibs agreed before taking a swig of the bottle in his hand.

"I can't just sit here. I'm going for a walk," Jax announced walking out again.

"You watch him," Gemma ordered Opie.

"Yes ma'am," he answered getting up and walking out.

Gemma looked at her and Carrie nodded before following after them.

Carrie noticed that they were halfway out the lot and knew she wouldn't be able to catch up with their strides.

"Hey," she called out causing them to pause and turn around. "Wait for me."

She started to pick up her pace so they wouldn't have to wait long.

"You're starting to waddle there Care," Opie joked as soon as she was standing in front of them.

Causing Carrie to smack him. As Jax coughed to disguise his laugh.

"Not you too," she stated as she saw him bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"You were kind of waddling," Jax said.

Causing Opie to laugh and Carrie to smack him again. Which only made Jax chuckle.

"You know what? Fuck you guys. I don't need this," Carrie stated walking ahead of them and onto the sidewalk.

"Hey don't get mad at us for pointing it out," Opie said grabbing her arm to stop her.

"But you didn't have to laugh," Carrie said her voice starting to quiver as her eyes started to water.

Both Jax and Opie looked at each other as she sniffled.

"Shit Carrie we didn't mean to make you cry," Jax said rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah it was just a joke," Opie said running his hand through her hair.

Her sniffling stopped as she couldn't keep herself from laughing. Before softly smacking both of them.

"That's what you assholes get for making fun of me," She said before she started walking again.

"You should go back. It's not safe for you to be walking around at night," Jax said as they walked beside her.

"But it's safe for you two," She retorted.

"We're armed. So we can protect ourselves," Opie chimed in.

"Well there you go. Nothing's going to happen to me with you two around," Carrie stated. "So where are we walking to?"

* * *

Jax watched as Opie and Carrie walked back into the lodge. Just as Trinity was walking down the stairs from her apartment.

Instead of lighting the cigarette he said he was going to smoke. He walked towards Trinity just as she stepped onto the pavement.

"Heard you're going to be leaving," Trinity asked as he sat down on the bike in front of her.

"Yeah. Soon as I get my kid. Hopefully tomorrow," he answered.

"That's good. Getting your son."

Jax nodded before saying, "I'm sorry about McGee."

"Thanks. Guess he was the closest thing I had to a da."

"Where's your old man?" He questioned standing up.

"Killed in Lebanon. I was a baby," Trinity answered.

"He was a soldier?"

"Aye."

Jax stepped closer placing his hand on her shoulder to offer some comfort. He was going to remove his hand when Trinity placed her hand over his. Rubbing her thumb on the back of his hand before she closed the gap between them. Barely kissing him, when he stepped quickly back.

He chose to look at the ground instead of her. Knowing he did the right thing in breaking the kiss. It wouldn't be right of him to kiss Trinity back. Not while Carrie was only feet away from him.

But looking up and seeing Trinity's expression snapped something inside of him and before he knew it he was the one initiating a kiss.

* * *

Carrie walked into Maureen's place in time to hear Cherry say, "I heard they buried Kip with his patch."

"Yeah," Gemma answered before noticing Carrie walk into the kitchen.

"Sorry for just walking in," Carrie said apologizing to Maureen before turning to Gemma, "Clay said you were here."

"It's fine. Pull up a chair," Maureen said as Cherry scooted over.

"Thanks."

"That's cool they buried him with his patch," Cherry said picking up the conversation again.

"No tears for the man that just died?" Maureen asked Cherry.

"Why? He was a liar and a rat," Cherry stated.

"You don't know the facts," Maureen argued.

"Do you?" Gemma questioned. "McGee ever say anything about Jimmy?"

"No," Maureen answered. "He was more distant than usual. I didn't see it coming."

"Desperate times cause men to do desperate things," Gemma stated.

"What do you know about desperate? All of our times here are desperate. SAMCRO has no idea the risk Belfast makes to keep Charming all safe and cozy," Maureen argued.

Causing Carrie and Cherry to glance at each other. Not knowing if they should change the subject before things got out of hand.

"Redwood put SAMBEL on the map."

"Aye and after four days you nearly wiped them off," Maureen argued.

"I'll assume it's the drink talking," Gemma said pointing to Maureen's full shot glass.

"You assume whatever the hell you want. All I know is that since you two and your boys rolled into our alley. We're short three lives," Maureen argued.

Carrie wanted to protest that they were missing Abel and she had nothing to do with it but Gemma beat her to it.

"And I'm missing my grandson because you're asshole brother is playing a shell game with his life." Gemma argued back.

"I should take your right eye for talking shite about a man of God," Maureen warned.

"Won't be the first thing you took from me."

"Maybe if you didn't chew men up like a meat grinder they wouldn't be overseas looking for some tenderness," Maureen stated.

"You dink of a whore," Gemma yelled jumping across the table.

Causing Carrie to jump up and pull her back before she attacked Maureen.

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Cherry questioned them.

"I need smokes," Gemma said shrugging off Carrie's hold before leaving.

"I need whiskey," Maureen said taking her shot and following after Gemma.

"I need a new life," Cherry muttered resting against the table.

"You're not the only one," Carrie said sitting back down.

They stayed that way for a couple of minutes after Gemma and Maureen left. Before Carrie broke the silence.

"I'm going to go make sure they don't kill each other if they haven't already," Carrie announced before leaving Cherry by herself.

Carrie arrived into the shop just in time to see them throw the door leading into Maureen's office open.

"Christ Ma," she heard Trinity yell.

Causing her to walk closer and peek into the room. Taking in the sight of Trinity holding her cardigan closed and a shirtless Jax pulling his pants up and clearing his throat.

"You want to shut the door?" he questioned after buckling his belt before noticing her standing there.

Her eyes locked with his and she saw him take a step but she shook her head as her eyes roamed his state of under dress over.

She felt Gemma grab her arm but she shook her off before quickly leaving as she heard the office door close.

* * *

Jax felt like shit as he followed Gemma back into the lodge. He had let himself think with dick. Instead of with his brain which had been telling him to walk away ever since he started following Trinity.

Now he was sure Carrie would chew him out before she listened to what he had to say. He knew it was shitty of him to want to confess his feelings in light of the situation but he had no other choice. He had to tell her that he knew she was the one he wanted to be with before she killed him. For what happened back there.

"Where you going?" Gemma questioned as he began to make his way towards Carrie's room.

"Need to talk to Carrie," Jax answered.

"She can wait. Me and you need to have a little talk," Gemma stated making him follow her into his room.

* * *

Carrie paced the length of Opie's room as she gathered her thoughts.

"He's such an asshole," Carrie muttered. "And a slut."

"No shit. That's not something new. You knew how Jax was," Opie said. "Now why are you like this?"

Instead of giving a worded answer Carrie gave a frustrated cry.

"I'll go bring you some tea or something to calm you down," Opie stated. "And maybe a strong drink for me."

* * *

"Apparently John didn't tell anyone," Gemma said from her spot after revealing Jax and Trinity were half siblings.

"Clay?" Jax questioned as he took a drag of his cigarette.

"No," Gemma sighed, closing the distance until she was in front of him. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

"Yeah no shit. Two minutes later and I would have been dancing in Tig territory," Jax informed looking up at her. "How'd you find out?"

"Found a letter your dad had wrote to her," Gemma scoffed. "A love letter. Like the ones he wrote to me. She was nineteen. A fresh start."

"Sorry ma," Jax said rubbing his thumb across the side of her hand.

"Kellan's here. Cleared out the clubhouse," Opie informed them after knocking and opening the door.

"Alright man," Jax said before Opie walked away.

"Look you go out there and find our boy," Gemma stated. "That priest does not leave this alley, until you have an address. You hear me?"

Jax nodded, "Yeah."

* * *

Carrie was still pacing when Opie returned with a mug and a glass half way filled with what she assumed was whiskey.

"Here," Opie said handing her the mug as she finally stopped pacing.

"Thanks."

Carrie watched as he sat down on the bed before taking a sip of his drink.

"So what's wrong?"

"Everything," Carrie muttered as she fiddled with the tea bag.

"Everything?"

Carrie sighed setting the mug down on the nightstand, "I'll be back."

Quickly making her way towards her room she grabbed the letter out of the drawer and made her way back to Opie.

"Here," she said handing him the envelope.

"What is it?" Opie questioned setting his glass down, taking the letter from her.

"Read it."

Carrie grabbed her mug and sat down at the foot of the bed as Opie began to read the letter. She watched as his eyes moved along the page, occasionally glancing up at her but not saying anything.

She quietly sat that drinking her tea and picking at the loose threads on the blanket beneath her. Hearing Opie sigh and the sound of paper being stuffed into the envelope made her look up.

"So this is what has you acting like this?" he asked holding the envelope up.

"That's part of it," she answered as Opie set the letter between them.

"What's the other part?"

"Everything else," Carrie stated.

Opie didn't say anything. Instead he waited for her to get her thoughts together knowing she would elaborate when she was ready. In the meantime he casually sipped his drink and watched her. Waiting for her to be ready.

"Everything is just so fucked up," Carrie said aggravated. "I'm having David's baby and he isn't going to be around to see our son grow up. Yet he tells me I should be with Jax and allow him to be the father figure in our son's life. Because he knows Jax loves me even though he doesn't realize it yet and that I love him as well."

"Yet Jax is with Tara and trying to fuck Trinity. And we're not even close to finding Abel," she said sighing while fighting the urge to rip her hair out.

"There's more."

Carrie scoffed while shaking her head, "And I'm finding out that David might have been right about my feelings towards Jax."

"So you love him but he's an idiot who keeps screwing things up," Opie summed up.

"I wouldn't say it was love," Carrie mumbled.

Opie only shot her a look as if to say yeah right. Which caused her to mumble incoherently.

"What was that?"

"I said," she stated sighing. "That maybe I do love him."

"Seriously? Quit playing with yourself Carrie. You fell in love with him from the moment you saw him," Opie pointed out. "You wouldn't be here if you didn't."

"I'm here to help find Abel not because of Jax."

"Are you ever going to admit that you love him or are you just going to go around in circles," Opie argued. "Because I don't see why you two are so dense when it comes to your feelings. Either you love each other or not. There's no in between when it comes to love."

"Well he makes it difficult for me to admit that I love him okay," Carrie argued. "Maybe if he wasn't such a slut willing to fuck anything with two legs. I wouldn't be having this conversation. Besides he chose Tara so he obviously doesn't feel the same about me."

"Have you asked him?"

"Like I'm going to go up to him and say, hey Jax I know we're supposed to be looking for your son and you're with Tara but I love you. So I was wondering if you felt the same way about me," Carrie sarcastically said. "Like that would go over well Ope."

"This is the problem with you two. You don't talk shit through. Instead you just assume and make stupid decisions. That lead to stupid mistakes that you end up regretting later on."

"At least I don't stand up people in order to go fuck the person who broke my heart," Carrie argued.

"But you pushed him away when you lost the baby and let David be there for you instead of him," Opie pointed out. "He was the father and he should have been the one with you not Hale."

"I gave him a chance to be there."

"Did you?" Opie argued. "Because if he would have had the chance. He would have been there for you in heartbeat. You didn't see him when Unser went to deliver the news or after you kicked him out."

"Was it that bad?"

"He was scared shitless and devastated when he heard the news about the baby," Opie said. "And even more so when you blamed him for it. He was hell bent on revenge but he also wanted to be there for you. But you wouldn't let him."

"He didn't try hard enough," Carrie argued.

"You wouldn't let him Carrie. What did you expect him to do force you to let him in? Would that have made a difference?"

"No."

"See?" Opie pointed out. "You need to have this conversation with him. It's long overdue and you two have shit you need to let go of in order to move on."

* * *

Jax walked back into the lodge after hearing that Kellan had put his son up for adoption. Having the nerve to basically tell him that Abel wouldn't have a good life with him. He was pissed at the circles they had gone. Only to feel his heart drop at the fact that his son was up for adoption.

He stepped into the hallway and noticed Carrie stepping out of Opie's room. She froze as she spotted him before quickly making her way towards the room she was staying in.

"Carrie," Jax called out as he followed her.

Carrie managed to get into the room and was about to close the door behind her. When Jax stopped her and walked into the room closing the door behind him.

"What do you want?"

"Look I want to talk about what you saw back at the store," Jax answered.

"Look you don't owe me an explanation. We're not together so you don't have the obligation to explain anything to me."

"Yes I do," Jax argued.

"No you don't. You can do whatever the hell you want and fuck who you want. You don't need to tell me anything. That's between you and Tara."

"Why do you always bring up Tara?" Jax questioned.

"Because you're with her and she's the one that you're supposed to be having this talk with."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because this is my room," Carrie answered sarcastically.

"I meant here in Belfast," Jax snapped.

"Because believe it or not I love Abel and I wanted to help you bring him home," Carrie answered.

"That's the only reason?"

"Yes what other reason would I need to be here?" Carrie retorted.

Jax shrugged while looking down at his shoes. Realizing that this was his opportunity to say what he needed to tell her.

"Nothing happened besides a couple of kisses and even that was wrong," Jax began his confession. "Two minutes later and I would have been in Tig territory."

"Tig territory?"

Jax chuckled, "Turns out Trinity is my half-sister."

Carrie looked at him in shock practically having her jaw on the floor.

"Eww Jax. What the fuck," Carrie stated.

"I didn't know until after the fact that we had gotten caught," Jax explained.

"I still can't believe you did that," Carrie said looking at him before laughing.

"It's not funny," Jax said before chuckling.

Carrie looked up as she stopped laughing noticing how close her and Jax had gotten. He reached up and ran his thumb across her cheek.

"I never meant to hurt you," he softly said watching as she closed her eyes.

"But you have," she said stepping away. "You've made it hard for me to let you in."

"I'm sorry."

Carrie ignored his apology, "Do you have any idea how it felt being stood up? I waited for you almost all night Jax. Thinking that maybe you had club business or something had happened to you. Only to find out that you didn't show up because you were fucking Tara."

"I had to help her with a problem she had."

"Oh yeah. I'm sure the itch she had was a problem that only you could scratch," Carrie sarcastically said.

"Some ATF guy was stalking her. I couldn't ignore it and have something bad happen to her on my conscious," he snapped.

"So you dealt with him and then fucked her. Classy Jax."

"I fucked up. I know and I'm sorry I hurt you. But you've hurt me too,' Jax stated. "So we're both the bad guy here."

"At least I didn't string you along," Carrie snapped. "And then knock you up."

"If you would have asked me to leave Tara I would have in a heartbeat."

"Yeah until you decided you changed your mind and then what?" Carrie questioned. "I didn't want to force you to be with me because I was having your kid."

"You wouldn't have forced me if I wanted to be with you."

"Don't lie to me Jax," Carrie retorted. "We both know you can't love anyone besides Tara."

"That's not true. At least not anymore," Jax explained. "I ended things with Tara. For good this time."

"You say that now but once we return to Charming. Everything will go back to normal."

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"Because I can't move past everything that's happened between us. You left me when I needed you the most Jax," Carrie blamed.

"Because you wouldn't let me be there for you. You pushed me away and ran to David. So don't put the blame on me," Jax argued raising his voice. "That was my baby too and I had a right to be there with you. But you wouldn't let me."

"Because I thought you were responsible. Put yourself in my shoes," Carrie snapped matching his tone. "How could I let the guy, who I was told was at fault for that beating I received, to comfort me when I had just lost my baby."

Carrie lowered her voice, "You're in the same situation now. Don't deny that you've been pushing Tara away and secretly blaming her for Abel's kidnapping."

"The only difference is that you can still get your son back," Carrie stated. "Did you know that David helped me to realize that it wasn't you who was responsible for that beating? That it wasn't your fault I lost our baby. So I'm sorry that I pushed you away and placed the blame on you."

Jax didn't do or say anything but stare at her for a couple of minutes and she didn't push him knowing they both needed to collect their thoughts or else they would just start blurting whatever came to mind.

"Screw it," she heard Jax mutter before he closed the distance between them. Kissing her with everything he had. In that kiss she could practically feel every single emotion that he couldn't put into words.

Pulling apart, they were both breathing heavily as he rested his forehead against hers. Locking their gazes. Neither willing to look away.

"Sorry I stood you up a year ago," Jax said running his thumbs across her cheeks. "I haven't stopped regretting it or the choices I've made that ended up hurting you. I always think about what it would be like if I hadn't been an idiot and chosen you. Would you still be expecting our baby? Would Abel still be with us and whether we could have been a happy family?"

"Why do you care so much about me forgiving you?" Carrie softly questioned placing her hands over his.

Jax pulled his hands away taking her right hand and placing it over his heart as he pulled her as close as he could.

"Because I love you," Jax firmly stated. "And I'm going to make every single stupid mistake I made up to you. No matter how long it takes."

"What about Tara?"

"Me and her are done," Jax answered. "We were done a long time ago but I was stuck in the past to realize it. But it's you who I want to be with and who I want to raise Abel with."

"Jax I'm having another man's baby," Carrie reminded him. "I can't just think about what I want."

"I don't care that you're having Hale's baby. Just like I know you don't care that Abel isn't yours," Jax pointed out. "We'll make this work. I know we can but you have to be willing to give us a shot."

"You say that now Jax but what about when the baby's here and what if he looks like David? He's just going to be a constant reminder that he isn't yours."

"I don't care Carrie because as far as I'm concerned that baby is going to be my son. I'm not going to love or treat him any less than Abel or any kids we might have," Jax stated. "Just like you won't treat Abel any different because he isn't yours. Or are you going to cast him aside?"

"You know I wouldn't do that," Carrie argued. "He may not be mine by blood but ever since I first saw him. He's always had a special place in my heart and I'll always consider him as my own."

"Then you don't need to worry about me casting him aside," Jax said placing his right hand on her baby bump. "Because as far as I'm concerned he will and is my son too. Just like you consider Abel your own. So screw what anybody else says. As long as we're happy with our family. Everyone else can go fuck themselves."

"You really want to do this? Take on this responsibility?" Carrie questioned. "You won't change your mind later on?"

"I'm sure," Jax stated. "I'm not going anywhere Carrie."

Carrie tried to find some hint of unsureness or dishonesty but she couldn't find any. She could feel her heart start to race as he cupped her cheek, leaning his forehead against hers.

"So what do you say Blake," he said referring to her last name. "We going to give this a shot?"

"I don't know Teller. I'm going to need more convincing," Carrie joked.

"I can do that," he said before kissing her.

"You can't leave me breathless Jax," Carrie breathlessly stated. "Lack of oxygen isn't good for the baby."

As if to back her up, she felt the fluttering of her baby moving. Causing her to look at Jax as she began to rub her belly.

"See even Kip agrees with me," Carried said as Jax placed his hand to lightly run his fingers over her baby bump.

"Kip?"

"Yeah I thought it would be nice to use Kip's name as a nickname for the baby. Since he wanted the baby named after him," she explained softly laughing.

"At least he didn't tell you to use Half Sack," Jax joked laughing.

Carrie shook her head smiling, "That would doom the poor kid."

"Yeah it would," Jax agreed. "So what are you naming him?"

"Benjamin David," Carrie stated, "David picked out the first name and I thought it was only fair if he carried his father's name to remember him by."

Carrie watched as Jax continued to quietly run his fingers lightly over her bump.

"It's a good name," he finally said looking up at her. "He talked to me you know?"

"David?" Carrie questioned even though she didn't need too.

Jax nodded, "He told me that I needed to get my head out of my ass and realize that I loved you," he explained looking up at her. "He wanted me to promise him, that in case something happened to him, I would be there for you and the baby."

"I want you to know that even though I promised him I would be there for you two," Jax explained. "That isn't the only reason why I want to be with you. I really do love you."

"I know Jax," Carrie said stepping away from him taking the envelope out of her pocket.

Handing it to him and motioning for him to read it.

"Unser gave me that letter the day we left Charming," she explained watching him read it. "Said David wanted him to give it to me in case something happened."

"Guess he gave us both a push in the right direction," Carrie said as she watched him fold it back up.

"Yeah. It only took us almost a year to stop running around in circles and actually say something," Jax agreed. "Even though you haven't said how you feel about me."

"I think I just showed you," Carrie pointed out.

"I don't think so Ms. Blake," Jax playfully argued. "I need to hear it."

"Actions speak louder than words Mr. Teller," Carrie stated before wrapping her arms around his neck. "But in case you still need to hear it… I guess I love you too."

"You guess?"

Carrie laughed before softly kissing him, "I love you."

"I love you too," he murmured against her lips.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:There's only two chapters left, following the events of season 3. Then the chapters are going to have some time jumps as it goes into what happened in between Season 3 and Season 4. I'm warning you now that there's most likely going to be some changes and it might not follow the season, like the previous chapters. So with that said. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own SOA, the characters, dialogue or anything recognizable from the show. They belong to Kurt Sutter. I only own Carrie and anything else of my own imagination.**

* * *

Chapter Eight

Jax woke up to the feeling of a warm body lying next to him. Which had him quickly looking down. Breathing a sigh of relief, as he spotted Carrie with her head on his chest. He silently took in the sight of her sleeping, as the memory of the previous night came rushing back.

Moving the strands of hair that covered her face, Jax had a hard time believing that she was actually lying beside him. Or that after nearly a year, they were actually going to give it a shot at being together. The fact that they had both confessed their love for one another made the situation even more surreal.

After the events of the past year or so, he would have never thought that this were ever possible. He finally had the girl he loved and who loved him in his arms and once he had his son back everything would fall into place.

"Stop thinking and go back to sleep," Carrie sleepily muttered, while nuzzling closer.

"How'd you know?"

"I can hear you thinking," Carrie stated half asleep.

Jax chuckled, "I'll let you sleep then," Jax said slowly started to disentangle himself from her.

"No. Five more minutes," Carrie protested gripping his shirt in her hand, to keep him from moving.

Jax smiled before placing a kiss on her head as he settled back down.

Five minutes later he had managed to disentangle himself from Carrie's grip and had made his way outside.

He had tried calling Stahl, only to get her voicemail both times. He left her a voicemail as the delivery truck left. Pocketing his prepaid, he looked up to see Trinity carrying milk crates into the store.

He knew they had to talk about the night before and the revelation but he also knew it would be awkward if he just walked in there with no excuse. So he picked up the last crate and walked into the store.

She looked up as he entered and muttered a thanks before she continued restocking the store fridge.

"I feel like an idiot," Trinity stated.

Jax nodded along feeling the same way as he moved closer.

"Bottom line here," he said once he stopped next to her. "Is that I found out I have a sister."

"Aye, a sister you nearly shagged," Trinity said grabbing more milk cartons.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he joked.

Relieving the awkwardness and getting a soft laugh out of her. He kissed her forehead, just as his phone started to ring.

"I gotta take this," he said, causing her to hug him.

"Go get my nephew, yeah," she stated stepping back.

"Yeah," he agreed before leaving.

* * *

Carrie stood beside Jax, who was leaning against the table, as they watched the interaction between Maureen and Clay.

"McGee always emptied his pockets on my dresser," Maureen explained. "He left this. It's an address. Might be one of Jimmy's places or one of Donny's. I don't know but it might help you find him."

"Thanks," Clay said taking the piece of paper from her. "Sorry about your old man."

"I know," Maureen softly answered.

"You should have this." Clay said dropping something into Maureen's hand.

"What did he give her?" Carrie quietly asked Jax, since he had a better view.

"Looks like it was McGee's first nine patch," Jax answered before Maureen passed by them on her way out.

"Alright," Jax said walking closer to the group. "Nuns should be there soon. I'm going to grab one of the Irish to help navigate."

Carrie watched as Gemma quickly got up from the couch.

"I'm coming with you," she said.

"Mom," Jax argued.

"I'm coming with you," she stated as she stood near him.

"Can you just," Jax began to argue but Carrie cut him off.

"I'm going too," she informed him.

"No. You're staying here," Jax argued.

"No. If Gemma's going then so am I," Carrie argued back. "Don't give me that look Jackson. I came to help get Abel back. Not sit on my ass and wait around. I could have done that in Charming. So I'm coming with you."

"You're going to need the truck to get the baby home," Bobby pointed. "Taking them might have a little pull with the nuns."

"Let them go," Clay stated before turning to Gemma. "Please don't kill anybody."

Everyone started moving around as they got ready to leave/

"We'll go run down the address." Clay said.

Jax looked at her and Gemma before giving an aggravated sigh.

"You take Bobby. Me and Ope can handle the nuns," Jax finally stated.

"You just get our boy. We'll worry about the Irish," Clay answered.

Jax nodded before motioning for the three of them to follow him.

* * *

Carrie knew Jax was aggravated and worried that she and Gemma were tagging along. But they couldn't sit around waiting anymore. Not when they were this close to getting Abel back.

Abel being put up for adoption only meant that they couldn't waste time. Every second was crucial in finding him. Even though they knew he wasn't in harm's way the fact that he could be adopted any minute. Had them all feeling anxious.

Pulling up the road leading to the address Kellan had given Jax the night before. Had her heart racing. This was the moment of truth. Either they would be leaving with Abel right now or they would be getting him back from the family who adopted him. There was no way they would be leaving Belfast without him. That she was sure of.

They had just come to a stop and were getting out the truck, while Opie and Jax got off the bikes. When the door to the house opened and a man stood in the doorway waiting for them as they walked up to him.

"Down the hall," he told them as they passed him.

Gemma led the way followed by Jax and her with Opie bringing up the rear.

"Straight down through," he stated, after they turned a corner.

Looking to the right Carrie noticed a nun rocking a little girl. They walked into the room and Gemma and Jax started looking into the bassinets for Abel. As the man called for Sister Miriam.

"Father Ashby said you'd be coming by," the nun, who she assumed was Sister Miriam, informed them.

"Where's my son?"

"Please. Come in, have a seat," the nun said not answering Jax's question.

"Where's Abel?" Gemma questioned.

Carrie looked around at the room, as they moved closer to the nun, and wondered how many of these babies were in the same situation as Abel. Or if they really were abandoned or orphaned.

"He was given to a family two days ago," Sister Miriam informed them, causing Carrie to snap her head towards her.

"What family? Where is he now?" Jax questioned trying to stay calm.

"I don't have that information," she answered.

Carrie knew the nun was lying. It was one thing to keep the information confidential but there was no way they would have just handed Abel over to a family without a background check or information on how and where to contact them. She saw Jax clench his jaw and knew that he had reached his patience limit.

"Then who does?" he asked.

"An independent mediator protects everyone's anonymity," the nun stated.

"Tell me where my son is," Jax said raising his voice and getting closer to the nun.

The man from earlier grabbed Jax by the shoulder causing Jax to turn around and push him away.

"Back off," Jax warned not lowering his voice.

"I'm sorry," Sister Miriam stated.

"If they took Abel two days ago, Kellan knew he was gone," Opie lowly pointed out.

"That son of bitch. I'm gonna kill him," he said turning around to leave.

They had started walking away when they heard Gemma call out. Turning around and seeing her trying to support herself on the wall. Had Carrie's heart racing, knowing that Gemma had just been in the hospital due to heart problems.

"Wait a sec guys. Hold on," Gemma said trying to catch her breath.

"Mom," Jax said walking closer towards her.

Carrie had just started to walk closer when Gemma reached forward and disarmed the guy, who let them in.

"Back up," she ordered, causing them to look at her in shock.

"Hand that baby to her," Gemma ordered the nun from earlier, while pointing at Carrie.

The nun looked scared and didn't move causing Gemma to raise her voice demanding the same thing. This time the nun quickly moved handing the little girl over to her. Carrie carefully grabbed hold of the little girl. Confused as to why Gemma would demand that.

"Come over here Carrie," Gemma said still pointing the gun at Sister Miriam and the man she had disarmed.

Carrie slowly walked towards her, coming to a stop next to her.

"What are you doing?" Sister Miriam questioned what everyone was wondering.

Gemma's answer was to point the gun at the baby. Causing the little girl to start crying and Carrie to tighten her grip on her as she tried to calm her down. Thinking Gemma had clearly lost her damn mind.

"You know the story of King Solomon right sister?" Gemma said not removing the gun from the baby.

"Yes."

"If I was that mother, I'd rather have a half dead kid then watch someone else raise my flesh and blood. Do you understand where I'm going with this?" she questioned raising her voice. "Now you had to have done some research on those parents. So we know that this anonymous thing is bullshit. Now you are going to tell us where our grandson is or I swear to God, that I will cut this baby in half."

"Get the file," Sister Miriam order the other nun.

Grabbing the file Sister Miriam started relaying the information as Jax grabbed the file.

"Where is he now?" Jax asked.

"The Europa Hotel," she answered.

Carrie heard Opie warn the nun not to say anything to anyone or the cops would get notified about the baby factory. But she didn't pay close attention to everything his was saying as she was still trying to calm the baby and keeping her eye on the gun Gemma still had pointed at her.

"Take the child," Gemma said dropping the aim.

Carrie handed over the baby as the nun reached for her, noticing how badly her hands were shaking. Before quickly moving towards Jax and Opie as Gemma kept the gun on the nuns and man.

* * *

Jax had followed the Petrie's from the hotel to a shopping center and as they walked around. Staying some feet behind so he didn't raise suspicion. Seeing them with Abel had him remembering Kellan's words about how his dad didn't want the life for him or his brother.

Which had him rethinking about taking Abel back. Knowing that if he did his son would one day be following in his footsteps. But he didn't know if he could just let his own flesh and blood go when he had come all this way and was now only standing feet away from him.

* * *

They had gathered on the lot when Jax pulled onto the lot, but there was no sight of Abel and Carrie knew something was wrong. She had stayed behind with Opie as Gemma approached Jax but couldn't hear what was said before Maureen was leading them to her place.

* * *

"What's going on?" Gemma demanded. "You're scaring me Jackson."

"I found Abel," Jax softly answered, as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

"He's there?" she questioned as he nodded his head. "We got to go get him."

"No," he softly protested as his eyes filled with tears. "I let him go mom."

"What?" Gemma asked disbelievingly. "What are you talking about?"

"Dad's manuscript. It wasn't about changing the club. It was about changing his legacy. I don't belong here mom," Jax explained. "And neither does Abel."

"Where is my grandson?"

"He's with a father, who didn't torture and murder a man yesterday," Jax stated.

Gemma grabbed him by the sweater pushing him back, "I don't care if you've killed a hundred men. He is your son."

Jax shook his head, "He's gone," he softly stated.

Causing Gemma to back away only to slap him across the face and grabbed him by the sweater shaking him.

"And what are you going to tell your other son. When he asks about his big brother?" she angrily questioned before shoving him back.

Jax looked at her in shock wondering how she had found out about him and Carrie. When they hadn't told anyone their plans.

"Tara's pregnant," his mother announced.

"How'd you know that?"

"I knew it before she even told me. She's two months along," Gemma said still angry at him.

Jax looked at his mother disbelievingly. It seemed like when things were starting to fall into place with him and Carrie something happened. Like something was keen on keeping them apart but they hadn't confessed their feelings and made it this far for nothing. He just had to figure out how he was going to make it work.

* * *

Carrie decided to stay in the lobby of the hotel, with Juice and Happy, knowing she wouldn't be able move fast enough if needed. At least in the lobby she could get a head start.

She watched as Happy and Juice took up spots, where they could keep an eye on everything, while she sat on the bottom of the stairs leaning her shoulder on the banister. Making sure she wasn't blocking the way before stretching her legs in front of her.

She knew that Finding Abel wasn't going to be easy but she didn't think all the shit that had happened in the amount of time they were in Belfast would go down. It had been basically impossible to find his whereabouts. Once they had and Jax had returned empty handed she knew something had happened.

Carrie didn't need him to tell her that he had let Abel go. She knew that as soon as he had arrived. Kellan informing him that Jimmy was going to use Abel as leverage confirmed it. She knew Jax thought that he was doing the right thing in letting go but this only proved that Abel was safer with his father. Where he would be protected from harm or anything like this ever happening again.

Seeing Happy and Juice move to the foot of the stairs had her turning around. Seeing the club minus Jax and Opie walking down the stairs told her something bad had happened.

"What happened?" Juice questioned.

"Abel's gone."

* * *

"Jimmy has your son. He's reached out to the council," Kellan informed. "He wants safe passage to the states in exchange for the boy. I've advised they make the deal."

"So what happens now?" Jaz questioned.

"Council considers it. Probably wants to meet with you, 'til then we wait," Kellan answered.

"None of this shit would have happened. If you told us where Abel was when we first got here," Clay stated.

"I'm trying to help this family," Kellan argued.

"Help us?" Clay questioned before jumping to his feet. "Are you serious? Are you serious?!"

Causing Bobby to stand in his way and Jax to hold him back. Pulling him back so he wouldn't attack the priest.

"Hey it's not his fault," Jax stated calming Clay down. "It's my mistake."

Jax turned to face Kellan, "I'm done listening to dead men. But don't pretend you were trying to help us," he stated walking closer to Kellan. "Greater good or not. We were just a means to your own end. You don't give a shit about this family and the John Teller you knew twenty years ago. He didn't give a shit either."

* * *

Carrie walked out and silently followed after him.

"Everything is just fucked up," Jax said turning to face her.

"We're going to find him,' Carrie stated placing her hand on his cheek.

She watched as Jax closed his eyes, sighing, as he placed his hand over hers.

"There's something I have to tell you," he softly said.

"What's going on?"

Opening his eyes, he pulled her closer wrapping his arms around her waist. Leaning his forehead against hers.

"Tara's pregnant."

Hearing him say that was like someone had poured ice cold water on her. Carrie exhaled and felt as if she had been sucker punched.

"I knew it was too good to be true," she muttered pulling away from him. "When did you find out?"

"Gemma told me after I got back," Jax said reaching for her.

Shaking her head, Carrie kept the distance between them, "I guess this is it then."

"What are you talking about Carrie?"

"This. Us," she answered motioning between them. "I guess a day was better than nothing right?"

"No. It's not."

"Jax we can't be together now and you know it," she said pushing the urge to cry down. "Tara is having_ your_ baby. I'm having Hale's. The choice is obvious."

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere," Jax said closing the distance.

She felt him lift her head up and wipe some of the tears, which had managed to escape, away.

"I love you and I'm not just going to give up on us so easily this time," Jax stated firmly. "We'll make this work but don't give up on us yet."

"Jax," Carrie sighed not knowing what to say.

"Don't give up," He stated before kissing her.

Pulling away, he lent his forehead on hers. They both sighed knowing they would either leave Belfast the way they came or together, ready to take on whatever waited in Charming.

* * *

"We'll allow Jimmy safe passage out of Ireland to ensure the safety of your son. You and Kellan will make the exchange at the docks," Peter Dooley informed them. "There's a boat awaiting Jimmy to take him to an airfield in County Down."

"Jimmy's no idiot. How does he know, after he hands over our kid, you ain't gonna gun him down," Clay stated.

"There are assurances in place," Kellan explained.

"We'll need something in return," Declan Brogan chimed in, as he leaned forward.

"What?" Jax questioned.

"We know Jimmy's reached out to the Russians in Northern California," Declan said.

"The ones we've been muling your hand guns to?" Clay questioned.

"Aye," he answered. "They'll be a short window of time when Jimmy will be there. You need to kill him. Before he exiles some place we can't find him."

"Comes with rewards," Brendan Roarke explained. "We're willing to significantly expand your gun business."

Clay and Jax turned to look at each other.

"Jimmy lost sight of our goals but we need the income he generated," Peter explained. "We're hoping the Sons might be willing to trade on that need."

"And what does that end up looking like?" Clay questioned as he pulled out a cigar and lighter.

"Access to our full arsenal," Brendan answered. "AR-15s, MP 5s RPGs, everything."

"Plus Jimmy's rolodex. All his contacts on the Western US," Peter explained. "Means pulling up more charters. Creating more alliances. Organizing. You think the Reaper is up to that challenge?"

"Yeah," Clay answered. "I think we can help you out."

* * *

Carrie had just finished zipping up her duffle bag when there was a knock on the door. Calling out for them to come in, she looked around making sure she wasn't forgetting anything.

"You all set?"

"Yeah," Carrie answered looking at Jax. "How'd it go?"

"I'll have Abel by the time I come back."

Carrie nodded, "That's good."

"Yeah. Just stopped by to get the truck but I was wondering if you wanted to go."

"Would it be okay if I went?" Carrie questioned unsure of the situation.

"I'm gonna need someone to hold Abel as I drive back."

"No one else is going?"

Jax shook his head, "Just me and Kellan. Please, I need you there," Jax explained seeing her hesitance to accept.

"Okay," she softly answered before grabbing her bag and following after him.

She quickly dropped her bag with the others before she followed after him.

* * *

Carrie decided it was better if she waited in the truck while the exchange was made. So her presence wouldn't hinder anything.

She watched out the window as a car pulled up and Donny, Jimmy's right hand man, stepped out. He searched Jax and Kellan before giving Jimmy the all clear.

Carrie released the breath she hadn't known she had been holding as she saw Jimmy hand Abel over to Jax.

"He's a good lad," she heard Jimmy say. "Wanted the good priest to return him right away. He's the one who kept him from his da. Forced the situation."

"Wait a minute," Jax said as Kellan moved past him. "Where are you going?"

"Making the exchange," Jimmy answered. "Only way I get out of here alive, is with a hostage."

"You agreed to this?" Jax questioned looking at Kellan. "He's going to kill you."

"Be well my son," Kellan said as he ran his hand over Abel's head.

Carrie watched as Kellan got into the car with Jimmy. She waited until they had driven away before leaving the truck.

"Kellan sacrificed himself for Abel," Carrie stated softly running her fingers though Abel's hair.

"Yeah," Jax answered turning so he and Abel were facing her. "Want to hold him?"

"You sure?"

Instead of answering, Jax started to hand him over. Causing Carrie to promptly take a hold of him.

"Hey buddy," she softly said as Abel looked up at her. "I'm so glad you're okay and you're here now."

"I'm never letting anyone take you from me again," she heard Jax say as he kissed Abel's head.

"Either of you," Jax said looking at Carrie before looking back at Abel. "I love you both."

* * *

As soon as they had arrived back to the alley, Gemma had taken Abel out of her arms. As everyone voiced their happiness at Abel's return before they moved the celebration into Maureen and Trinity's place.

Carrie watched as they all toasted, from her spot on the chair near the doorway where Jax was standing, before Juice and Happy went to load the truck.

"You hit that?" Carrie heard Opie question as she looked back at them.

"No," Jax quickly denied scoffing. "Didn't feel right."

Carrie turned back around as she stifled a laugh as she remembered the reason why.

"Feels just about right to me," she heard Bobby say.

Only to her hear her brother agree, which caused her to look back at them and narrow her eyes at him. Not that he or any of them took notice. Since both Bobby and Opie were looking at Trinity, while Jax looked back at Bobby.

"Dude, you're twice her age and three times her weight," Jax pointed out.

"So," she heard Bobby and Opie retort at the same time before all three started laughing.

Causing her to shake her head and roll her eyes as she turned back around. Not surprised by their reactions.

She saw Trinity get up and walk towards Jax, taking it as her que to give them some privacy. She got up and took up the spot Trinity had previously been sitting in.

* * *

"Your boy's beautiful," Trinity said looking back at Abel as she stood in front of Jax.

"Aww, thank you," Jax said watching his son, as Carrie sat down next to Gemma.

"Hey," he softly said. "You doing okay darling?"

Trinity nodded, "Yeah, I'm good," she said pausing before adding. "Darling."

Causing him to chuckle before asking, "Where's your mom?"

* * *

Maureen opened the door to the lodge before calling out to see if anyone was there. Not hearing a reply, she quickly looked through the bags to find Jax's. Finding it she opened it. She stuffed the letters John had written her into his Reaper Crew baseball cap.

She had just managed to close the bag when the door opened causing her to quickly sit on the arm of the leather armchair.

"Hey, was wondering where you went," Juice said as he walked in followed by Happy.

"Just checking to make sure nobody left anything behind," she nonchalantly answered.

"Thanks," Juice said as he and Happy grabbed the bags.

"See you out there," he stated before following Happy and leaving Maureen alone.

"Finally going home," Opie stated as they stepped of the stairs.

"Yeah," Carrie sighed. "Finally going home."

Carrie stood next to Opie as Gemma and Maureen said their goodbyes. Gemma ignored Maureen's outstretched hand only to hug her instead. Causing Carrie to sigh in relief. She didn't know if she could handle anymore drama right now. Especially since they were supposed to be in good spirits about getting Abel back and going back home.

Although, Carrie wasn't looking forward to going home as much as she should be.

Hearing Bobby tell Jax that he would want to hear what Tig had to say. Had her sighing, already knowing something bad had happened.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: So here's the next update. Finished it and reviewed it today. So please excuse any mistakes I might have overlooked. This is officially the longest chapter i have written for this story at 22 pages and 8,444 words. So I really hope you guys enjoy it. Just one more chapter left before the club heads off to jail and then the time jumps begin as they deal with them being inside. So Happy Monday and Happy reading!**

* * *

Chapter Nine

Instead of the happy feeling of returning home. There was a somber mood after finding out about Tara's kidnapping. Which seemed to thicken as they arrived onto the lot.

Tig opened the van's back doors, welcoming them back home before stepping aside to let them get out.

Carrie thanked him as he helped her out, before rushing and throwing her arms around Lyla.

"Missed you," Lyla stated tightening her grip.

"Not as much as you missed my brother," Carrie joked pulling back.

They both laughed before Lyla spotted Opie. Carrie watched as Lyla ran and jumped into his arms before kissing him. Before looking where Jax took the Moses basket, carrying Abel, from Gemma. Her eyes briefly met his before Gemma captured his attention.

Now that they knew Tara was pregnant, Carrie had a suspicion that Gemma wouldn't like her anywhere near Jax. Since she could potentially distract him from the task at hand. She was sure that as soon as they found Tara and rescued her. She wouldn't be too keen on Carrie and Jax spending time together either.

So instead of waiting for either Gemma or Tara to tell her to stay away she would just do it on her own. She would step aside, so Jax wouldn't have to make a decision if Tara gave him an ultimatum. No matter how much it hurt her to walk away, even though she knew he loved her, she wouldn't stand in the way of being an actual family with Abel, Tara and their son.

* * *

"Hey anything on Tara?" Jax questioned Tig.

"No brother, I talked to Unser. There's nothing new," Tig explained. "I'm sorry."

"Alright," Jax softly said before Tig patted his back.

They both started walking towards the clubhouse when Jax noticed the wooden swing set.

"What's that?" he questioned nodding at it.

"Prospects spent all night on it," Tig answered looking at him.

Before they made their way into the clubhouse and into the chapel.

"ATF and Charming PD are digging into Salazar," Tig informed them, looking around the table. "They talked to that aunt that owns the house and they're rattling a few of the Calaveras. So far they got nothing."

"Alright, I'll check in with Unser and you see where Stahl is at," Clay stated pointing at Jax.

Jax nodded getting ready to stand up when Kozik spoke up.

"We got a complication," he stated nodding at Tig.

"Yeah. Alvarez found out that the cops are all over Salazar. If Hector gets picked up he could blow a serious whistle on the whole heroin operation," Tig explained.

"If the Mayans are looking for Salazar. They're not going to give a shit about protecting Tara," Jax pointed out.

"Call Alvarez and set a meet," Clay ordered pointing at Tig before looking back at the rest of them. "And let's find this aunt that owns the house. Maybe we can convince her to share some information on little Hector."

Clay smacked the table and everyone jumped into action.

* * *

Carrie had finished making a pot of coffee, as the club walked out of the chapel, in case anybody needed the caffeine boost of energy.

She had just poured the hot water over the tea bag in her mug when Jax walked into the kitchen.

"Hey," he softly said resting his hand on her right hip.

"Hey. Coffee," Carrie answered pointing at the pot.

"Yeah."

Grabbing a mug she poured him a cup as he moved to wrap both arms around her waist.

"Jax… I don't think we should see each other anymore," She softly stated turning around and handing him the mug.

Jax furrowed his eyebrows as he set the mug on the counter behind her.

"Why?" he questioned crossing his arms across his chest. "And don't give me the excuse of Tara."

"Well it's true Jax," Carrie argued. "I can't come in between you and the woman expecting your baby. I won't be the reason why you're not in your baby's life."

"I don't have to be in a relationship with Tara to be in my kid's life."

"How are Gemma and Tara going to react when you tell them that you're going to be in a relationship with me? When I'm carrying someone else's baby and you leave the woman expecting your baby," Carrie pointed out. "I'm not going to be the reason why Tara won't let you see him or her. Or the reason if she's does something drastic."

"Tara can be mad all she wants but she won't do anything to hurt my kid or keep me from seeing him or her. I'll make sure of it," Jax retorted. "Besides I had time to think on the flight back about what we were going to do because I'm not losing you again. Not when we've finally come to an understanding,"

"What did you come up with?" Carrie softly questioned.

"Marry me," Jax stated.

"What? That's only going to make things worse Jax and you need to focus on getting Tara and your unborn baby safely back."

"They can't do shit to keep us apart if we're married Carrie. I love you and I know I want to be with you until we're old and dying," Jax stated cupping both of her cheeks.

"Marriage isn't something you rush into Jax. I don't want us to end up like you and Wendy," Carrie argued watching as he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We won't end up like that because this time I'm doing it for the right reasons," Jax retorted. "Or you don't feel the same about me as I do about you?"

"Of course I do Jax. It's just that I don't want to stir shit up between you and Tara," Carrie explained. "The selfish part of me is yelling at me to agree but the practical and sane part is telling me that I can't step in the way of you having a family with both of your kids under the same roof."

"Look, think it over and we'll talk more about it later okay," Jax answered. "You don't have to decide right now."

Carrie nodded, before he kissed her head and grabbed his mug leaving her to the whirl wind of emotions and thoughts running through her head.

* * *

Jax walked back into the main room in time to hear part of the conversation between Gemma, Bobby and Clay.

"Piney's already up at the cabin waiting for you," Bobby pointed out.

"Let him wait. Nobody knows I'm back," Gemma answered as she gently rocked Abel. "I just want to sleep in my _own_ bed."

"We'll lock down the garage," Jax suggested. "She'll be safe."

Clay sighed and briefly shook his head, "Okay. For now," he said shrugging before looking at Jax.

"Let me just dump my shit and we'll go yeah," Jax said grabbing his bag before turning to walk down the hall to his room.

Looking at Carrie as she exited the kitchen, he gave her a wink and a smile before disappearing.

* * *

Gemma didn't miss the change in her son's walk or the look in Carrie's face. She knew something was going on between those two but with everything that was happening she didn't know how she felt about that.

"Here take the baby," she told Lyla handing Abel over to her.

Before following after her son.

* * *

"Hey baby," Opie softly said as she looked down at Abel. "He looks happy to be back home."

"Isn't he a cutie," Lyla said not taking her eyes off Abel and rocking him as he started to fuss.

Missing the look that passed Opie's face as he looked at her interact with Abel.

* * *

Carrie walked into her apartment and sighed as she dropped her duffle bag on the floor. She couldn't deny that it felt good to be back in her own place. Looking around, her eyes fell on the clock and she realized she had time for a quick shower before she went to ST. Thomas to figure out if she still had a job or not.

She grabbed the bag and quickly dumped the dirty clothes into the laundry basket before grabbing a clean bra and a pair of underwear. Making her way into the bathroom. Quickly setting the water temperature and shedding her clothes. She sighed stepping into the shower, feeling the water fall over her tense tired muscles.

She didn't have much a lot of time to waste so she hurriedly finished her shower. Grabbing a towel to dry herself and her hair before putting on her bra and underwear.

Choosing a pair of stretchy jeans and a somewhat loose shirt. She quickly threw the clothes on making a mental note that it was time to start buying maternity clothes since her clothes were starting to fit tighter.

* * *

"Can I ask you something?" Opie questioned clearing his throat.

"Well sure honey," Gemma answered moving closer.

"Lyla and me," Opie stated clearing his throat.

"I think she's sweet. Seems good with her kid," Gemma said.

"Yeah. She is," he agreed not finding the words to explain what was on his mind.

"But she earns her living catching cum in her mouth and I'm sensing that's a problem for you," Gemma stated what he couldn't put into words.

"Donna," Opie said looking down before looking at Gemma. "Begged me to give up the life. I guess now I know how that feels. I ain't got no right to ask her to give it up."

"No," Gemma agreed. "Unless you marry her. She needs security Ope. Marry her. My guess is she starts working with her legs shut."

Opie nodded and softly smiled as he looked down.

* * *

"Where's O'Phelan?" Stahl asked as soon as he had shut the office door.

Jax sighed as he sat down, "MIA. Just like Tara," he pointed out.

"Alright look. Salazar is still in the area. We've got it locked down. We will find her," Stahl explained. "I know that you're taking a bit of an emotional beating here Jax. I get that, but you and I have a lot at stake here,"

"The Irish gave Jimmy safe passage out of Belfast in exchange for my kid," Jax explained. "He's up North with the Russians."

"Putlova?"

"Yeah," Jax answered. "We're into it. We got a brother in maximum security. Lenny 'the pimp'."

"Lenny Janowitz?" Stahl questioned. "The scumbag who killed 3 ATF agents?"

"Allegedly," Jax argued. "Lenny's got direct ties to the Russians. He's a real source but he's got no visitation rights. So we got to use Otto to reach out to him."

"Otto's in the hole," Stahl stated.

"He's out tomorrow," Jax pointed out. "If you can arrange for Lenny and Otto to get some yard time together. We might get a lead to where Putlova had Jimmy stashed."

"Alright well. I'll see what I can do," Stahl said standing up. "In the meantime, I'd like you to take a look at these. Former high ranking leaders of the IRA, now make up the ruling council of the Real IRA."

Grabbing the file he opened it up to see the pictures of Peter, Declan and Brendan.

"Did you have any contact with any of these guys?" She questioned as he flipped through the file.

"A few of them look familiar," He said closing the file. "I'll be able to focus when Tara's safe."

"We don't have time for this," Stahl argued.

"The sooner we find Tara…the sooner we find Jimmy," Jax retorted, dropping the file onto the desk.

Walking away and glancing at her incredulous expression before shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Carrie walked down the hospital hallway on her way to the administrative office. Hoping she still had a job but she knew she had enough money left over to lean back on, while she looked for another job, in case they decided to let her go.

She knew just leaving without informing them of the reason would be reason enough to fire her but she hoped that they didn't.

She was turning the corner when she bumped into Margaret Murphy, causing her to gasp and drop the files.

"Sorry," Carrie said kneeling to help her pick them up.

"It's alright," Margaret answered as she took the files Carrie handed to her.

Carrie accepted the hand she offered to help her stand.

"Glad to see your back," she said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Carrie answered looking down and fiddling with her bag strap.

"I heard about the abduction," Carrie softly said looking up at her. "I heard they took you from the hospital."

"We were on our way home from the clinic," Margaret corrected. "Tara needed a ride."

The only clinic where Tara wouldn't be able to drive would be from an abortion clinic but surely she wouldn't be capable of doing that. Either way Carrie decided to play along and try to find out if her suspicion was true.

"That's right. Tara had mentioned something about that the last time I talked to her," Carrie said.

"I didn't know you and Tara were friends," Margaret stated.

"We seem to have found a common ground because of our friendship with the same person," Carrie answered.

"The one who Tara asked about an abortion clinic for?"

Carrie felt her heart stop at that revelation before trying to keep her composure.

"Yeah that one," she softly answered.

"Well it's a good thing they both dealt with it," Margaret said. "I'm sure your friend's environment wasn't ideal to raise a child and neither was Tara's."

"What was the name of the clinic? Another friend of ours is looking for one."

Margaret nodded before telling her the name and address which Carrie quickly wrote down in her phone.

Carrie nodded, "Thanks. I have to go talk to Marcy about my schedule but I'll see you around. I'm really glad you're okay," she quickly stated before walking away.

Instead of walking towards her previous direction, she walked towards the elevators taking them up to the second floor. Exiting, she quickly made her way towards the nurses' station looking for a certain red headed nurse.

"Hey Kenz," Carrie said spotting her writing in a chart.

"Hey Carrie, what's up?" she questioned closing the chart.

"Mackenzie, I need a huge favor from you," Carrie stated.

"Uh-oh, what kind of favor Carolyn?" the red head questioned, knowing Carrie only called Mackenzie when it was serious.

Carrie motioned for the red head to follow her before entering an empty room.

"Does your sister still work at the Family Center in Merced County?" Carrie asked once she had closed the door.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I need you to ask her to get me a copy of two files," Carrie stated.

"What? Why?" the red head quickly questioned.

"I need them as proof that an abortion procedure was done."

"That's confidential. I don't know if she would be willing to take the risk," Kenz protested.

"We're talking about your sister Kenz. From what you told me she's loves a challenge," Carrie retorted.

Kenz sighed, "I'll see what I can do. What names are the files under?"

"You have to promise not to say a word to anyone about this," Carrie ordered.

The red head nodded, "I promise."

"Tara Knowles and Lyla Dvorak," Carrie said while writing it on a paper towel.

"Doctor Knowles?" Mackenzie asked confused.

"Yeah. Don't lose it," Carrie said handing her the paper towel. "Text or call me when you find out what your sisters says."

"Yeah. Okay," The red head said taking the paper towel and stuffing it in her front pocket.

"Thanks. I got to talk to Marcy," Carrie said opening the door.

"Good luck with that," Kenz said softly laughing as they exited the room.

"Thanks," Carrie sarcastically answered before smiling at the red head.

* * *

"We gotta find her Bobby," Jax said as he watched CSI work around the crime scene.

"Yeah well we just traveled half way across the world to find your son. Finding Tara should be a walk in the park," Bobby stated.

Jax nodded as Unser and Clay walked up to them.

"Anything?" Jax questioned Unser.

"Looks like the girlfriend bled out," Unser answered looking at them. "Other victim was bludgeoned. Lori Allen. Never made it home from work."

"Salazar killed her for the ride," Clay guessed.

"Probably," Unser agreed. "Grey Lexus. Put out an APB."

* * *

Carrie walked out of ST. Thomas feeling relieved that she still had her job. Although she had gotten a scolding before being put on probation for the next two weeks. Along with a warning that if she just pulled another stunt like this, then she might as well just quit and not return. Before Marcy starting fussing over whether she and the baby were okay.

After letting Marcy fuss over her, she finally put her foot down and they got down to setting her schedule for the upcoming couple of weeks.

Carrie unlocked her car just before her phone started ringing. She quickly settled in before checking the caller id.

"What's up Kenz?" Carrie questioned as she closed the door and turned the ignition on.

"_Just wanted to let you know that my sister agreed to do it. She said she'd bring the files once she was out of work. So I can stop by your place on my way home in a couple of hours or so."_

"That's great and thanks again for doing this and thank your sister for me as well," Carrie stated as she leaned her head back.

"_Your welcome. So I'll see you in a couple of hours."_

"Yeah. See you then," Carrie answered before they said they're goodbyes.

She stuffed her phone back into her purse before deciding to drive into Lodi in order to buy maternity clothes along with some new scrubs to accommodate her growing belly.

* * *

"What's happening?" Clay questioned as he and Jax walked up to Unser and Stahl.

"Sherriff's are taking over. Negotiator said not to call Salazar," Unser answered.

"If it was Tara who killed his girl. The negotiator ain't going to do shit," Jax stated.

"Jax they know what they're doing," Unser answered.

"Salazar is going to hurt her," Jax said raising his voice.

"Alright. Alright," Stahl said trying to keep the peace. "As far as we know. Tara is fine. If he was going to hurt her, he would have done so already. Now we will get her back."

"You need to keep it together son," Clay stated, patting him on the back as they walked back to the club.

"Yeah."

Jax didn't like the fact that he didn't know exactly what was going on and the feeling of being helpless. While Tara and his unborn baby were in there.

"What are we going to do about them?" Bobby questioned as they looked at the Mayans.

"Buy them some popcorn," Clay sarcastically replied. "Ain't nothing he's going to be able to do now."

* * *

"Got his list of demands?" Clay questioned as Unser and Stahl walked up to them.

"He wants a free ride to Cartel country. Going to give us Hale for that," Unser answered.

"What about Tara?" Jax questioned.

"He only lets her go if he can trade her for you," Unser stated looking at Jax.

"Let's do it," Jax answered.

"Jackie," Chibs protested. "The minute he sees your face, he'll gun you down."

"He's right. We ain't going to let you take that chance," Clay said.

"Salazar needs a hostage to make it out of there alive. He ain't gonna kill me," Jax argued.

"It's too risky and it's against policy," Stahl said. "I'm going to call in FBI and we'll let tactical handle it."

"Look he's desperate. He ain't going to give us time to plan. I'm doing this," Jax stated looking between Unser and Stahl.

* * *

"They're sending in Jax," Hale said as he hung the phone up.

No one said anything as Salazar opened the duffle bag and took a knife out.

"You aren't going to kill him," Tara said.

"First I'm going to kill you. Make him watch. Then I'm going to kill him," Salazar corrected.

Plunging the knife into a book as they heard someone pound on the door.

"Come on," Salazar demanded as he pointed the gun at Jax. "Come on."

Jax walked in and shut the door behind him after Salazar demanded him to do so.

"Get 'em up," he order before searching Jax for any weapons.

Satisfied that he didn't have any, he pushed Jax into a chair after he didn't sit down when he ordered him to.

"Let her go," Jax said.

Causing Salazar to laugh before gun butting him.

"YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Salazar yelled pointing the gun at him.

Jax watched as Salazar held a knife against Tara's throat as he said how he had watched his lady bleed out. Jax knew that if he didn't do something the same thing was going to happen to Tara.

He saw Hale grab a pen and knew he would cause the distraction he needed. As soon as Hale stabbed Salazar with a pen Jax threw himself at him. Making him drop the gun and knife before he ran out the room.

Jax picked up the gun before turning to Tara.

"You kill anyone who's not a cop," he ordered her handing her the gun before kissing her forehead.

Grabbing the knife Salazar had dropped, he ran out of the room after him.

"They're in the office," Jax called out not slowing down, intent on letting Salazar get away.

* * *

The club stood outside anxiously waiting for news. Before hearing the Sheriff announce that Salazar was on the move and that the hostages were safe.

Now the only thing they had to worry about was Jax making it out alive.

* * *

"Nowhere left to run bro," Jax stated as he had cornered Salazar in a hallway. "Put the axe down and I'll let you walk out of here alive."

"That's bullshit," Salazar said not dropping the axe.

"It's not bullshit," Jax said walking closer. "You got dirt on Hale. We want to see that prick burn. I let you walk out of here but you got to rat him out."

Salazar pointed the axe at him as Jax closed in on him.

"Come on bro," Jax said urging him to accept the offer.

Salazar lowered his head as he lowered his hand, before finally dropping the axe onto the floor.

Jax took that opportunity to run at him stabbing him with the knife. Twisting it until Salazar dropped.

Hearing them break the door open, Jax grabbed the axe and cut himself. Before the cops walked into the hallway.

"He came at me with the axe," Jax explained in between breaths. "I had no choice."

* * *

"Salazar attacked Teller with a fire axe," the sheriff informed them. "Teller killed him with his own knife."

"Sorry," Clay muttered at Unser after the sheriff had walked away.

* * *

"She was only able to find Tara's file. There was no one registered under the name of Lyla Dvorak," Kenz said handing Carrie the manila envelope.

"Thanks," Carrie answered grabbing the folder. "And she must have used a different name."

"Most likely didn't want it to be traced back to her."

Carrie nodded, "Yeah most likely."

"Well I should get going," Kenz said sanding up.

"Thanks again," Carrie stated, standing in the doorway as Kenz stood outside her apartment.

"You're welcome. Take care."

"You too," Carrie answered before shutting the door after Kenz walked away.

Carrie could feel her heart racing and saw her hands begin to shake. Before she took a deep breath and took out the contents in the folder.

She leaned back against the wall and felt her stomach drop. Hearing Margaret say what Tara had done was one thing but reading the proof was different. Carrie knew Jax was going to be devastated and she was doubting giving him the information. Yet if she didn't give it to him she would feel guilty and would feel as an accomplice to what Tara had done.

Carrie grabbed her bag after a quick call to Ope. Finding out that Tara was safe and that they were all at the clubhouse. Carrie quickly made her way out of her apartment and into her car, steeling herself for what was about to come.

Carrie walked into the clubhouse and spotted Jax leaning on the bar.

"What the hell happened to you?" Carrie questioned noticing the white gauze wrapped around his arm.

"It's just a little cut," he answered. "What's that?"

Carrie looked down at the envelope in her hand.

"I need to talk to you about something. Where's Tara?" she questioned looking around the room not seeing her but catching Lyla's eye.

"She's cleaning up before I take her to the hospital to check on the baby."

Carrie nodded not looking away from Lyla.

"I'll be back okay. I just have to talk to Lyla really quick," Carrie stated before motioning towards the kitchen.

"Tell me you didn't," Carrie stated as soon as she turned to face Lyla.

"Didn't what?"

"Tell me you didn't have an abortion," Carrie demanded.

Lyla didn't say anything as she crossed her arms and looked down.

"Lyla…"

"I'm sorry," Lyla softly said.

"How could you do that Lyla? Opie had a right to know before you made this decision."

"I just couldn't do it. I can't compete with a ghost Carrie. You have to understand my situation," she said as her voice began to quiver.

"That was his baby too," Carrie argued. "Both of you should have made this decision. If you loved him, you would have told him."

"Don't. Don't try to make me the bad guy here."

"But you are," Carrie said raising her voice. "Don't you realize that?"

Lyla didn't say anything, instead she began to cry.

"I told you that I wasn't going to lie to my brother," Carrie said reminding her of their previous conversation. "Because I thought you were going to come clean about your pregnancy but I was wrong. So either you tell him what you did or I will. Either way he's going to find out today."

"Please don't Carrie," Lyla pleaded as she continued to cry.

"I'm not going to stand around as you continue to lie to him, Lyla, so you decide either you tell Ope or I will."

Lyla didn't say anything, so Carrie made the decision for her. She began to walk towards the kitchen entrance but Lyla intercepted her, pleading for her not to tell Opie.

Carrie tried to disentangle herself from her but Lyla wasn't letting her out of her grip. She demanded Lyla to let her go but she wouldn't listen as she continued to plead and hang onto her.

* * *

Hearing raised voices coming from the kitchen had the conversation in the main room stopping. As they turned towards the kitchen, trying to decipher what was happening.

Opie and Jax looked at each other before making their way to the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Opie questioned as they saw the scene before him.

"Tell him Lyla," Carrie said managing to get out of Lyla's grip.

Lyla, however, didn't say anything as she continued to cry.

"Tell him Lyla. Now, or I will," Carrie demanded.

Lyla's only response was to shake her head as she hugged herself, before she pleaded with Carrie to not say anything.

"Tell me what?" Opie questioned looking between Lyla and Carrie.

"Are you going to tell him?" Carrie questioned.

Lyla didn't answer as she pleaded with her eyes for Carrie not to say anything. But Carrie couldn't find it in herself to feel even remotely sorry for her.

"I told you I wasn't going to lie to him," Carrie warned Lyla giving her one last chance to tell Opie.

When Lyla made no move to say anything, Carrie shook her head and scoffed. Glaring at her, before turning to face her brother.

"I'm sorry Ope that I didn't tell you sooner," Carrie softly said. "But I really thought she was going to tell you and that she wouldn't do something this stupid without talking to you first."

"Carrie…please don't," she heard Lyla say.

Looking over her shoulder Carrie shook her head, "I don't you owe you shit."

"Lyla was pregnant before she got an abortion," Carrie said sadly looking back at her brother. "I only found out about it today but she had told me about the pregnancy before we left for Belfast. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you then Ope."

"Is this true Lyla?" Opie questioned.

"I'm so sorry Ope," Lyla softly said before she started crying again.

Carrie's heart broke for her brother but she didn't want him to live in a lie.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me?" Opie questioned.

"Let's give them some privacy Carrie," Jax said guiding her out the kitchen.

"That's my brother Jax. I need to be there for him," Carrie argued.

"You can be there for him after they hash their shit out," Jax retorted.

He had barely finished saying that when the kitchen door was closed behind them.

"You just love coming in between relationships don't you?" Tara questioned.

"That's my brother. What did you expect me to do? Sit back and let her fuck him over?" Carrie questioned feeling her blood begin to boil.

"Hey, calm down," Jax softly said.

"Besides that's rich coming from you," Carrie said ignoring Jax. "You're the one who fucking took her."

"What?" Jax questioned turning to look at Tara.

"She asked me for a favor," Tara retorted. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Say no. That's what you were supposed to fucking do," Carrie argued. "You should have advised her to talk to Opie first."

"She didn't want to," Tara answered.

"Just like you didn't want to talk to Jax about it first either?" Carrie angrily questioned.

"What?" Jax questioned looking between Carrie and Tara.

"Why don't you tell him Tara," Carrie stated. "Before I tell him. You know I just love coming in between relationships."

"What is she talking about Tara?"

"Nothing Jax. You heard it yourself. She just wants to come in between us," Tara nervously answered.

"Stop lying to him Tara," Carrie stated. "Tell him the fucking truth because I'm so over hearing lies."

"You're just a jealous bitch who would do anything to come in between us," Tara angrily said. "Now that David's dead you want Jax to take responsibility for your bastard. Since you lost his baby."

"You fucking bitch," Carrie said clenched teeth.

Carrie moved forward but Jax stood in her way.

"Both of you need to calm the fuck," he said, standing in between them.

"You know its true Jax," Tara said. "She just wants you to raise her kid as your own. Since she couldn't carry your baby to term."

"I was attacked bitch. I didn't lose my baby on purpose," Carrie angrily stated.

"Well maybe you should have tried to protect yourself harder," Tara said.

"Just like you should have tried to protect Abel from Hayes harder," Carrie angrily retorted. "Kip died because he was doing what you wouldn't. So get off your fucking high horse before I knock you off of it."

"Don't put the blame on me. You weren't there," Tara retorted.

"I didn't need to be there, to know you were a coward to protect that little boy."

Jax looked towards the guys for some help but no one made a move to help him. Clay merely shrugged, while the rest simply raised their hands. Except for Tig, who was watching the scene unfold as if he were a little boy on Christmas.

Jax gently pushed both of them back while telling them to calm down. But neither would listen to him. Looking towards the kitchen, he could hear raised voices coming from in there. So he knew Ope wouldn't be much help either.

"Would both of you just calm the fuck down," Jax angrily said. "This isn't good for either of you."

"She fucking started it," Carrie said. "With all the bullshit that she's pulling. I'm merely going to end it."

"So why don't you tell him the truth Tara before I do or Margaret opens her mouth again," Carrie stated. "Tell him how you didn't get taken from the hospital. Where were you really coming from?"

Carrie smirked as she saw Tara blanch. She knew she had her. There was no way Tara could lie her way out of it not when she had proof. Carrie just hated that Jax would end up getting hurt.

"What is she talking about Tara?" Jax questioned dropping his arms.

"You don't know what you're talking about. You can't prove anything," Tara said, ignoring Jax's question.

"Don't I?" Carrie retorted holding up the manila envelope. "Guess you should have used another name."

Jax was fed up with not getting any answers. So he took the envelope from Carrie, before looking between both of them.

"Don't Jax," Tara said as he went to open it.

"What are you hiding Tara?" Jax questioned.

"Yeah what are you hiding Tara," Carrie sarcastically said.

Tara glared at Carrie before turning towards him, "Whatever's in there isn't true. She most likely faked it."

"Oh yeah because I'm that desperate," Carrie sarcastically retorted. "I'm not you. So I don't need to stoop to low measures."

"Isn't that what you're doing?" Tara angrily questioned.

But Jax wasn't paying attention. As he took the contents out, he felt his heart stop.

"I'm trying to protect him from a lying selfish bitch like you," Carrie angrily stated.

"How could you do this?" Jax asked. "That was my baby too."

"Jax-"

"No. I don't want to hear lies or excuses Tara. Tell me why you did it," Jax said.

"It's not real," Tara protested. "I can prove it."

"Really? By faking an ultrasound with the help of Murphy? Because that'll cost both of your careers," Carrie said.

"Did you fake it?" Jax asked turning to look at her.

"What? No. Why the hell would I fake something like this Jax? Especially when I knew it would only hurt you," Carrie answered, hurt that he would believe she would do such a thing. "Check the date. Have Juice hack into the clinics system. Talk to Margaret Murphy. I don't give a shit but I would never hurt you on purpose. Especially not with something like this."

Jax looked back down at the paper, clenching his jaw.

"So this is where you were coming from," Jax softly stated. "You weren't taken from the hospital. You were on your way home from an abortion clinic."

"Abortion? Really Tara?" Jax questioned raising his voice. "Why?"

"We weren't on good terms Jax," Tara answered.

"So you decided to get an abortion. Did you really think that would solve anything?!"

Even though Carrie wasn't on the receiving end of Jax's wrath. She still couldn't help but cringe every time he raised his voice. She knew that he would never physically lay his hands on Tara but that didn't mean he wouldn't verbally rip her a new one. Especially when it came to his own flesh and blood.

Hearing the voices in the kitchen abruptly cut off, when Jax started screaming, and she didn't have to wait long before Opie stood in the kitchen doorway.

Opie looked at her before crossing his arms and looking at Jax and Tara. Ready to step in if he needed to calm Jax down.

She didn't mean for it to happen this way. She was going to talk to him in private and let him know. Not air it out in the club's main room for everyone to hear. Although she was glad that Gemma wasn't here because she wouldn't have the same reservations of not hitting Tara that Jax did.

"Maybe you should finish this in private," Carrie softly said.

"Now you suggest that after airing it out there in front of everyone," Tara stated as she scoffed.

"Listen, I was going to tell him in private but you couldn't keep your mouth fucking shut," Carrie answered. "And were you even going to tell him or were you going to put the blame on Salazar, and make Jax feel guilty, when he found out that there was no baby. Or were you going to get Margaret to help you out with this?"

"This doesn't fucking concern you. This is between me and him," Tara angrily stated. "Or did you think that by getting me out of the way, he would go to you? Face it Carrie he doesn't love you and he never will. It always will and always has been me."

"You really are a delusional bitch to think that. Aren't you?" Carrie questioned. "People change Tara. What makes you think he's going to continue to love someone who causes him nothing but pain?"

"The only delusional one here is you. In thinking that he could ever love you," Tara answered.

Carrie wasn't angry anymore. All she felt was pity for Tara because she was still holding onto the love the Jax had once felt for her. The same love that she could clearly see wasn't reciprocated anymore.

"I pity you," Carrie softly stated. "I really do because you're so caught up in old feelings that you can't see that he doesn't love you anymore."

"Well you can take that pity and shove it," Tara retorted. "Because I don't fucking need it."

Carrie shook her head exhaling a deep breath, "I'm just gonna go. You two have to resolve this on your own. Me being here isn't going to solve anything because we'll only end up going back and forth," Carrie said motioning between herself and Tara.

"I'll walk you out," Opie said, causing her to look at him.

Carrie knew he wanted to talk to her, so she nodded before grabbing her bag from the bar top.

"First you stir shit up and now you're just going to walk away," Tara said scoffing. "Nice."

"Like you always stir up shit Tara?" Carrie retorted. "You never offered an explanation then. So I don't owe you shit now."

Carrie went to walk away but Jax stopped her.

"You're not the one who has to leave," he said looking at Tara.

"Seriously? You're not even going to let me explain anything?" Tara questioned. "You're just going to go and play family with_ her_."

"What other explanation could I possibly need besides you killing our kid," Jax answered. "I had to find out through my mom you were pregnant and I found out through Carrie you got an abortion. You can't offer me anything that I won't find out through someone else."

"What I choose to do now doesn't concern you anymore," Jax stated. "We were done before we left for Belfast and this was the final nail on that coffin. So get your shit out of my house. I don't care if you go back to Chicago or you stay in Charming but I don't want you anywhere near my family."

Jax turned to Opie, "I'll take Carrie home. You stay and work your shit out with your girl," he said motioning to Lyla who had taken Opie's previous spot in the kitchen doorway.

"Take care of her," Opie said before motioning for Lyla to follow him.

Carrie watched them disappear around the corner leading to the dorms.

"Jax," Tara called out as he moved to leave.

"Make sure she doesn't come back here," Jax said looking at his brothers.

"Sorry for ruining your night guys," Carrie softly apologized.

"Don't worry about it doll," Tig said. "We got a free show out of it."

Carrie rolled her eyes and shook her head. Only Tig would enjoy something like this.

Jax grabbed her hand before guiding her out of the clubhouse. The adrenaline she had running through her veins started to fade as the cool summer air hit her. Causing her to feel some discomfort, as she took a deep breath as her and Jax made their way to her car.

At first she chalked it up to the baby moving around or possibly gas, but when she started to feel some sharps pains as well she knew something was wrong.

"You okay?" Jax worriedly questioned as her saw her hunch over.

Carrie shook her head as she took in a deep breath as another sharp pain hit her.

"Can you make it to the car?"

Once the pain had settled, she let out a shaky breath as she looked up and saw they were only a couple of feet away from the car.

"Yeah," She shakily stated.

Jax nodded before they both picked up their pace. Reaching for the keys before he settled her in the car and quickly made his way to the driver's side.

Hearing her take another sharp intake of breath, had him quickly reversing and pulling out the lot.

* * *

Carrie could feel Jax's gaze on her but her anxiety didn't let her tear her gaze from the white hospital ceiling. Remembering the last time she had been in the hospital, because of pains, was when she had suffered a miscarriage. Which she didn't know if she could handle going through again.

Finally looking down, she took in the IV in her left hand which was resting over her baby bump. Her doctor had given her some medication to stop the cramping before running some tests.

There was a knock before her doctor walked in, causing Jax to stop bouncing his knee and sit up straight.

"I'm going to perform a cervix exam while we wait for the results before I do an ultrasound," Doctor Green informed.

Moving the stool to the foot of the bed before washing and gloving her hands.

Carrie released the breath she was holding and turned to look at Jax who had grabbed her right hand.

Squeezing his hand, she gave him a soft smile before she heard the doctor snapping the gloves off.

"There doesn't seem to be any changes in the cervix to signify a miscarriage or preterm labor," She stated writing in the chart. "And I didn't see any ruptured membranes. So I'm guessing it was most likely your body reminding you to take it easy."

Carrie watched as her doctor flipped through her chart.

"Have you been under a lot of stress lately because your blood pressure was a little high when you came in," Doctor Green informed her.

Carrie shared a look with Jax which caused her to quickly look away.

"Somewhat," Carrie softly answered.

She knew Doctor Green was about to lecture her but luckily there was a knock on the door. Causing the doctor to open the door before closing it as she looked through the lab results.

"Everything seems to be fine except for the slightly higher blood pressure," she informed her. "But I'm still going to perform an ultrasound just to make sure."

Carrie nodded and felt Jax squeeze her hand before he kissed her head.

She turned to look as Doctor Green rolled the ultrasound machine to the bed. Before they fell into the normal routine of prepping for an ultrasound.

She watched the screen, unconsciously tightening her grip on Jax's hand, as Doctor Green moved the ultrasound wand around. Before she pressed a button, filling the room with the steady swoosh of her baby's heartbeat.

"Steady and strong heartbeat," The doctor said smiling at Carrie. "Everything seems to be fine but I'm going to advise you to take it easy from now on. No getting yourself into stressful situations."

Doctor Green gave her a pointed look before printing out the ultrasound picture. Handing it to her before she turned the machine off. Rolling it back to its proper place against the wall.

Carrie let out a sigh of relief before turning to Jax and showing him the ultrasound.

"He's fine," she stated smiling with relief.

"Yeah," he softly said handing the ultrasound back before kissing her. "I love you."

"I love you too," Carrie softly replied.

* * *

Jax opened the door letting Carrie go in ahead of him. Closing the door behind him as he saw his mother standing by the stove holding Abel.

"I thought you were taking Tara to check on the baby," Gemma said looking between him and Carrie.

Jax motioned for Carrie to sit down at the table as he took Abel from Gemma.

"You might want to sit down for this," Jax stated before taking a seat himself.

* * *

"That little bitch," Gemma said after hearing the story from Jax and Carrie.

Gemma hadn't been too thrilled when she learned about the pregnancy but that was still her grandbaby and to hear that Tara had gotten an abortion while they were in Belfast. Only added to the list of why she couldn't stand her in the first place. Which she was willing to overlook since Tara had been carrying her grandkid but now nothing stood in her way to give the doctor aa good ass kicking.

"Don't do anything stupid ma," Jax stated, knowing what she was thinking. "I already told her to pack her shit and not get anywhere near my family."

"Like she's going to listen Jax," Gemma argued.

Looking between her son and Carrie knowing something was going on that they weren't telling her.

"So how's the baby?"

"He's good," Carrie answered.

"That's good," Gemma said not missing her son squeezing Carrie's hand. "So what's going on between you too? And don't say nothing because I can clearly see something going on."

Carrie didn't look up from looking down at Abel while Jax looked at them.

"I love her," Jax simply stated.

Causing Gemma to raise her eyebrow at him before she turned to Carrie. Noticing the way Carrie started blushing but didn't look up.

"Do you love my son?"

Carrie looked up at her before turning to look at Jax, "Yeah I do," she softly said.

Before turning to look at her, "I do love him," Carrie firmly stated.

Gemma looked between them before nodding, "Okay," she said. "What are you planning on doing about it?"

"We're going to be together," Jax stated, silently daring her to say otherwise.

"You do realize she's pregnant with another man's baby right?" Gemma questioned before turning to Carrie. "And he has a son."

"I know. I plan on looking after him as if he were my own," Jax answered. "Carrie already thinks of Abel as hers anyway."

"This true?" Gemma questioned her.

Carrie nodded, "Yeah," she said looking down at Abel and softly smiling at him.

* * *

Carrie looked up and locked gazes with Gemma, "I'm not going to hurt either of them Gemma and I'm not going to cast Abel aside once my baby is born. I'll love and treat both of them the same. So you don't have to worry about that," she stated not looking away from Gemma's hard stare.

"You're good with him but it's not my grandson I'm worried about," Gemma said glancing at Jax.

"You don't have to worry about me breaking your son's heart," Carrie answered. "I'm not going to walk away so easily. I haven't dealt with shitty situations to just walk away when it gets tough."

"But I'm not going to sit back and watch or hear about you screwing some croweater," Carrie warned looking at Jax. "As soon as you start to think with your dick, I'm done. I'm not going to tolerate you cheating on me when we have an argument. We have to work it out ourselves. Got it?"

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm not going to screw some croweater and risk losing you. Not when we've barely come to an understanding," Jax answered.

* * *

Carrie was worn out by the time they got back to her apartment. Kicking off her shoes, as she pulled her hair up in a messy bun. She motioned for Jax to make himself comfortable as she walked towards her room.

Grabbing a hair tie to secure the bun, she quickly found and changed into a pair of shorts before walking back out into the living. Finding Jax holding a still awake Abel while he flipped through the channels.

She gently took Abel from him before settling into his side as he chose to leave the TV on a Nicholas Cage movie.

"What movie is it?" she questioned as she handed Abel a small stuffed toy.

"_National Treasure_," Jax answered before looking down at her.

"What?" Carrie questioned looking up at him.

Jax shook his head, "Nothing. It's just that I could get used to this," he answered.

"Good because you have no choice," she joked causing him to chuckle.

"You know what would make it better though?"

"What?" Carrie questioned catching Abel's toy before it fell to the floor.

"If we got married," Jax stated.

Carrie froze before she looked at him, "You're serious about this aren't you?"

"I'm going to be doing some time. That's a fact," Jax answered. "And I don't want to spend my time in there worrying about you just up and leaving one day."

"I'm not just going to leave while you're in jail Jax. I wouldn't do that to you or Abel," Carrie said glancing down at Abel before looking at Jax once again. "Besides I have my family here. I won't just up and leave."

Jax nodded, "I know but I just want to do this before I go inside," Jax stated turning to face her directly before grabbing her hand. "I promise you once I get out, we'll have a real wedding but just do this for me now. It's probably going to be the only thing that'll keep me sane in there. Knowing I have a wife and kids to come home too."

"You don't think we'll be rushing into this?"

"I love you and I'm sure you're the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with," Jax answered. "I'm not going to change my mind about that. So I don't see what the point of waiting is."

"If we do this… we won't end up like you and Wendy?" Carrie questioned. "Because I don't want us to end in divorce or with us hating each other."

"That's not going to happen to us," Jax firmly stated. "You're not some junkie and any problems we come across we'll face them together."

"Your mind's completely made up on this, isn't it?"

"Yeah. So it all falls down on you babe," Jax answered. "So what do you say about making us legally a family."

* * *

**So there you have it. What did you think? What are your predictions on Carrie's answer? Do you think she's going to accept or put it off until Jax gets out of jail?**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I know it's been a while and I apologize but college got hectic for a while so i didn't have a chance to re-watch S3EP13 to get this chapter done. So i only wrote and watched when I had some free time which wasn't that often. But i did eventually get it done. Which is why this chapter may have some grammatical errors because towards the end I was typing it up as fast as i could so i could get it to you as fast as i could today. So i would really appreciate reading you're thoughts on this. **

**With that said i hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful/safe weekend or at least enjoy what's left of it. Also any dialogue that is recognizable from the show isn't mine i simply borrowed it for this story's purpose as well as the character's. Except for Carrie and any other character that isn't recognizable, they actually belong to me.**

* * *

Chapter Ten

Carrie felt the bed shift next to her, causing her to groan. Knowing it was too early in the morning to be up, when she knew she didn't have to go into work until Wednesday.

"You gotta wake up to get ready or we're going to be late," she heard Jax say, through her sleep clouded haze.

Carrie only groaned in response before her eyes snapped open. Finally registering, exactly why they were up this early. Looking at the clock and seeing that it was six-thirty, had her groaning once more which caused Jax to chuckle.

"I know babe but it's a small price to pay that will be worth it in the end," Jax stated, as he stretched. "I'm going to go pick up what I need while you get yourself and your stuff ready."

Carrie nodded as she sat up, yawning and stretching, before throwing the bed covers off her as Jax checked on Abel on his way out of her room. The morning air made her miss the warmth of her bed as she fixed the covers, but the thought of what was to come in a couple of hours made her stomach fill with butterflies.

Before she remembered that the rest of the day was unknown. There was no way of knowing what would happen regarding the club, but she wasn't going to let that ruin her day. Carrie knew what they were doing was crazy but yet it felt so right.

Carrie quickly picked out a pink and black chevron maxi dress. Laying it out on the bed before grabbing a pair of black ankle strap flats. Before quickly checking on Abel to make sure he was still sleeping. Sure that he was, she made her way into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar so she could hear him in case he woke up, Carrie threw her hair up in a bun. Making quick work of washing yesterday's grime off her, while being careful not to wet her hair so she wouldn't have to use the hair dryer and wake Abel in the process.

Shutting the water off, she quickly dried herself before putting on a strapless bra and a pair of underwear. Carrie then plugged in her curler so it could warm up while she brushed her hair and teeth before moving into the room to get dressed.

She had just finished strapping her flats, when she heard her apartment door opening.

"Hey, did you get everything?" Carrie questioned as she watched Jax from her bedroom doorway.

"Yeah," he answered holding up the manila envelope. "Do you have everything?"

Carrie nodded before pointing towards the manila envelope on the coffee table next to Abel's car seat.

"So we're all set," Jax stated. "Is Abel still sleeping?"

"Yeah but he should be up soon," Carrie answered moving back into the room and towards the bathroom.

"I just have to finish getting ready but it shouldn't take too long," she explained from the bathroom as she heard Jax walk into the room.

She began to do her make up keeping it simple with just some mascara, eyeliner and some lip balm. Before she began to work on her hair. Pinning her bangs back before starting to curl it.

Turning to look into the room as Jax picked up Abel out of the pack'n'play when he started to fuss. Carrie continued to curl her hair as she watched Jax interact with Abel as he changed and fed him. Softly smiling at the scene not quite believing that this was going to be her family now.

* * *

"I can't believe we're doing this," Carrie said as they made their way into the county clerk's office.

"You're not backing down are you?" Jax questioned as he set Abel's car set down.

"No," she answered. "But you do realize your mother is going to kill us right?"

"You let me deal with Gemma," Jax said before they were motioned forward.

"Good morning. How can I help you two today?" the woman, who looked to be in her mid-thirties, behind the counter questioned.

"We're looking to get a marriage license," Jax answered, causing the lady to smile.

"Head down to the corner counter and I'll be right with you," she stated pointing in the direction they needed to go.

Saying a quick thank you, Jax grabbed Abel's car seat and they made their way to where the lady had pointed.

"Do both of you have the necessary documents proving your identities?" the lady, who Carrie noticed her name was Lauren, questioned.

They both nodded as Carrie handed the manila envelopes over along with their driver's license.

They watched as Lauren pulled out the documents looking them over and comparing them to their driver's license. Once everything seemed to be in order, she made a copy of their documents and driver's license. Before she began to fill out the necessary paper work.

She had them look over the information to verify that everything was correct before having them raise their right hand to swear that the information they provided was true. Before she had them sign in the necessary spots.

Once they had filled and signed the necessary paper work along with paying the necessary fees, she presented them with their marriage license.

"The license is valid for ninety days," Lauren explained. "There is no wait period between receiving the license and the wedding ceremony. Once the marriage is solemnized the wedding officiant or yourselves may come and file the marriage license within 10 days after the ceremony is officiated. From there the license will be filed and your official marriage certificate will be sent to you in the mail."

"Make sure whoever is officiating your wedding is legally able to do so. Both of you along with one witness and the officiant must sign the license before you file it," Lauren informed them.

Carrie and Jax nodded in understanding before Lauren smiled at them and wished them luck.

They both muttered a quick thank you before gathering their documents into their respective folders and making their way out of the County clerk's office.

"We have an hour and a half before the breakfast at the clubhouse," Carrie told Jax as they walked out of the San Joaquin County clerk's office.

"Give us enough time to make it official," Jax stated giving her his infamous Teller smirk.

* * *

Carrie looked down at the copy of their signed marriage license, as Jax shut the car off.

"Gemma is going to kill us," she nervously stated looking up at him.

"At least we'll die married," Jax joked, which only caused Carrie to scowl at him. "Look at the bright side babe. You're stuck with me now."

"That's the bright side?" Carrie jokingly questioned.

They both laughed, before Carrie got serious.

"You're going to tell her right?" she asked as they got out of the car.

Jax nodded as he got Abel's car seat out of the car, "Yeah. It's better if I just rip off the band aid when telling her. The sooner and faster I tell her, the faster she'll get over it."

They both walked into the clubhouse noticing that the club were the only ones there so far.

"I'm going to go leave his car seat in the room," Jax informed her as she noticed Gemma bustling around setting the food up.

"Okay. I'm going to help Gemma," Carrie stated.

Carrie sighed as Jax made his way down towards the dorms before she nervously made her way towards Gemma.

"What can I do to help?" she asked as she set her bag down.

"Set the cups, plates, napkins along with the knives and forks on that table," Gemma said pointing to the long table set up near the bar.

Nodding Carrie got to work setting the table before helping Gemma set some of the food trays on it as well.

Jax carried Abel into the main room, catching her eye as he gave her a smile. Before he looked towards where his brothers were.

"Alright listen up," she heard him call out. "I have something I want to share you with you all."

Carrie shakily set the last tray down before going to her purse to take the copy out. Before walking towards Jax, who had motioned for Gemma to sit down before handing Abel to her. Which Carrie thought was smart of him. At least that would give them a couple of extra minutes to come up with a way to save themselves from Gemma.

"What's going on?" Gemma questioned looking between her and Jax.

"Me and Carrie made a morning trip to Stockton this morning," Jax stated looking at Carrie before nodding towards Gemma.

Carrie handed the paper to Gemma, as Jax threw his arm around her shoulder pulling her into his side.

"You didn't Jackson," Gemma stated looking incredulous between both of them.

"He didn't what?" Clay questioned.

"Carrie and I got tied the knot this morning," Jax announced.

The room was quiet as they processed what he had said before cheers broke out. Causing Carrie to sigh in relief before they were swept up in congratulatory hugs. Putting Carrie somewhat at ease.

"You do know the old man is going to shit a brick when he finds out right?" Opie questioned.

"Yeah well he can lecture me if I survive Gemma first," Carrie said looking at Gemma who looked between her and Jax with a serious expression.

"She'll come around," Opie said.

"I'm so happy for you man," Clay stated hugging Jax.

"Thank you," Jax answered.

"And welcome to the family sweetheart," Clay said hugging and kissing Carrie on the cheek.

"Thank you," Carrie softly responded.

"Don't worry about Gem," he said. "She'll come around soon enough once the shock wears off."

Carrie nodded as Jax kissed her head. Hoping that Gemma would come around soon enough, but in the meantime she was going to enjoy the company of her husband, which made her softly smile at the thought, and her family.

"What's got you smiling?" Jax questioned as they sat down to eat.

"The fact that you stuck with me now Mr. Teller," Carrie answered.

"It can't be that bad _Mrs. Teller_," he said putting emphasis on her new name.

She smiled and laughed before he kissed her. Both of them smiling whenever they caught the other staring.

* * *

"I didn't see that coming," Bobby said as he stood next to Gemma, who was watching the newlyweds.

"I did," Gemma sighed. "I just hoped he would let me give him an actual wedding."

"The important thing is that he seems happy and she's a good girl," Bobby pointed out.

"Yeah," Gemma begrudgingly agreed.

"So maybe it's time to give them a break and congratulate them," Bobby stated.

Gemma nodded before Bobby kissed her cheek causing her to softly smile.

* * *

"Hey," Opie called out. "Lyla's got something she wants to say."

Causing Jax to stand up as Carrie turned in her seat.

"We're getting married," Lyla announced holding her left hand up.

Causing the Club to cheer as they poured shots and handed out beers.

"I'm sorry about yesterday but I'm glad you two worked it out," Carrie said as she stood up to face Lyla.

"It's okay. I know why you did it. If the roles were reversed I would have done the same," Lyla answered.

Carrie nodded before they both smiled at each other before they hugged. Both of the gushing over the ring, the engagement and Carrie's marriage.

Before the club huddled around them to toast.

"To Opie and Lyla," Clay said raising his beer.

"To Opie and Lyla," they repeated raising their own drinks.

"Also to Jax and Carrie," Gemma said.

"To Jax and Carrie," they repeated clinking drinks.

As Carried mouthed a thank you, receiving a nod and small smile from Gemma.

* * *

Carrie looked up from clearing the bar top and saw Opie holding Abel. The scene made a lump form in her throat as she thought back on how he wouldn't be holding his own baby. Which caused her to resent Lyla, a little, for robbing him of that chance but at the same time she was starting to understand her choice in ending her pregnancy.

She just hoped that Lyla's decision wouldn't cause future problems in their relationship because after everything that Opie had been through. Her brother deserved some happiness in his life. They all did. It would just take some time for them all to achieve it. Especially with the fact that Gemma still technically running and hiding from the police and the looming reality of the club having to do some time in jail.

"You might want to change this little guy," Opie said, breaking her out of her thoughts, as he walked towards her.

"One or two?" Carrie questioned.

Instead of answering, Opie held Abel with his front facing him, causing her to smell the answer. Which caused her to lean back as she reached for him before grabbing his diaper bag.

"You made a real stinky mess huh buddy," Carrie stated, causing Abel to look up at her before he broke out in his baby laughter.

Which caused her and Opie to laugh.

"I can change him if you want," Lyla offered as she walked out of the club's kitchen.

"Thanks. It'll give me time to finish clearing the mess in here," Carrie said handing her the diaper bag and Abel.

"You're welcome," Lyla said before walking away.

Carrie watched her disappear around the corner before turning back to the bar, stopping as she saw Opie staring in the direction Lyla disappeared.

"You okay?" she questioned breaking him out of his trance like state.

"I don't know," he said turning around before he started gathering empty paper plates and cups.

She silently watched him throw the trash into the trash bag as she moved the washable dishes to an empty table. She knew something on his mind was bothering him and in the year she had known him she knew he would talk to her when he wanted. Sometimes he just needed a little push in the right direction for him to finally open up.

"You sure you're okay?" she asked after he threw a plate a little too forcefully into the bag.

"Yeah I'm fine," he firmly said, looking up at her before turning his attention back to the task at hand.

Carrie knew he wanted her to drop the subject. So she did as she started taking the dishes into the kitchen and putting them in the sink to soak. She knew he would seek her out when he was ready to talk. Since that was one trait they seemed to have in common. Dodge anyone who tried to help until they felt like they were going to explode if they didn't talk to someone. Seemed like they inherited that trait from Piney.

Only difference was that their father tended to head up to the cabin and drink himself into a stupor now a days. Instead of talking about his troubles.

* * *

"Hey everything okay?" Jax asked Carrie, seeing her facial expression, as she stepped out of the kitchen.

"Yeah. I just have to go into work for a couple of hours," Carrie answered.

"It's your day off though."

"I know but they're shorthanded at the pediatric clinic and I did kind of just leave without notice to Ireland," Carrie said the latter slowly and sheepishly.

"Wait you what?"

"I didn't ask for time off before leaving because I didn't know about Ireland until after I got out of work. But luckily my boss really likes me and is super understanding so I wasn't fired like I should have been. Instead I just got a stern lecture and was set on work probation," Carrie explained.

Jax sighed before rubbing his hand down his face.

"Don't," Carrie said holding her hand up. "I know what you're going to say and I don't need you to lecture me. I'm an adult who can make her own decisions and I admit, sometimes I make them without really thinking it through. So I fuck up but I'm old enough to admit when I'm wrong and accept the consequences of my actions."

"This was one of those times but if I had the chance I would do it all over again. So don't lecture me and don't blame yourself because I didn't do it because of you. I did it because I wanted to help get Abel home with his family where he belongs," Carrie explained. "So now I just have to accept the consequences and kiss my boss' ass since I wasn't fired. Even if that means going to work on my day off."

"Fine but just because you have to kiss ass doesn't mean your boss gets a free pass at getting you to give him a blow job," Jax stated.

"First of all that's sexual harassment and my boss' name is Marcy and she's happily in a long term relationship with two kids. So that's not going to happen and I'm married so my days of giving out blow jobs to guys who ask for it is over."

"Damn right you're married," Jax said pulling her closer. "So you just use to suck guys off if they asked for it?"

"What the fuck? No, I was just trying to make a point," Carrie answered pushing him away realizing he was only trying to rile her up.

"Good because the only guy you're doing anything like that is with your husband."

"I was already counting on that but since you're clearing it up for me it's only fair I do the same. I better not catch you with another woman better yet don't even look at anything with two legs because knowing you. You'll try to sleep with it," Carrie laughingly stated.

"That's not even funny or true," Jax argued.

"Seriously?" Carrie questioned raising her eyebrow.

"Okay maybe it was."

Carrie shook her head, "You're unbelievable sometimes."

"But you still married me."

"Like I said before I sometimes rush into things without thinking it through," Carrie said teasingly.

"Face it I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you," Jax said trying to keep a straight face.

Carrie shook her head and laughed, "I have to leave so I can get ready for work or I'll be late. So can you tell Gemma-"

"Tell me what," Gemma said cutting Carrie off as she walked into the main part of the clubhouse.

"I got called into work for a couple of hours," Carrie explained. "Can you take Abel until I get out of work?"

"Yeah I was going to ask if I could watch him," Gemma stated.

"Thanks Gemma," Carrie said before turning to Jax. "I'll see you later. Please don't do anything stupid and try not to get hurt."

"Can't make any promises babe," Jax stated before kissing her and cutting off any type of retort.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Unser questioned as Gemma closed the passenger door.

"I'm going to turn myself in," Gemma stated.

"What are you talking about?"

"Drive," Gemma loudly said instead of answering him.

Unser looked at her before driving off the lot.

* * *

"I thought it was your day off," Kenz said as she Carrie hung up the phone.

"It was but I got called in by Marcy," Carrie stated grabbing the chart from the red head.

"Schedule an appointment, for next week, for suture removal," Kenz informed her. "And can't seem to get a break huh?"

"I have to kiss a-s-s," Carrie stated. "Especially since I'm lucky she didn't fire me after the stunt I pulled."

Kenz laughed, "Well I hope your mini vacation was worth having to kiss Marcy's a-s-s."

"It was," Carrie said handing Kenz the chart and the freshly printed out booked appointment sheet.

* * *

"I need to post a chaperone or can you ladies chat with some civility," Unser stated looking between the two while holding Gemma's cell open.

"We'll be fine," Stahl answered looking at Gemma as she pulled the cell door so it closed.

"Good luck," Unser informed Stahl before walking away leaving them alone.

"What's this?" Gemma questioned as she saw the blue folder Stahl was holding out to her.

"It's my written statement exonerating you from the murder of Edmund Hayes," Stahl explained after Gemma grabbed the folder. "And Polly's death has been ruled self-defense. So you're clear of the homicides."

Gemma didn't answer as she read the statement which prompted Stahl to continue talking, "Of course that still leave the fleeing custody charge but with your recent medical flare up I got remanded to house arrest. You'll have to wear an ankle bracelet for six months and if you behave well, you'll have it off in three."

"I'll deny all of it," Gemma stated as she handed the statement back to Stahl through the cell bars.

"So you would sacrifice your life in prison just to undermine my case," Stahl said disbelievingly.

"I found the folder," Gemma stated getting up from the bed and stepping closer. "I saw what Jax's given you. You are going to get him killed. If not by his own club then by the IRA."

"You kill the deal or I tell the U.S Attorney it's all bullshit," Gemma said giving Stahl an ultimatum.

"Well… unfortunately my testimony has already been documented. So even if you wanted to take the fall… it's too late," Stahl informed. "Looks like you'll have to trust me."

Gemma shook her head as Stahl began to walk away, "You actually think that's possible don't you?" she questioned causing Stahl to turn around.

"You are a naïve bitch," Gemma stated when Stahl didn't answer. "These deals. These relationships. Can never work."

"And why is that?"

"Because they're based on lies," Gemma answered. "You're lying to your bosses. Jax is lying to his club. You're both lying to each other. There's no trust, something will go wrong. Somebody will get hurt."

"I promise you," Gemma stated looking up at Stahl. "It will end badly."

Neither said anything after that. Gemma sat on the bed with her back against the wall and looked at the ground. While Stahl stared at Gemma for a couple of seconds longer before she turned around and walked away.

* * *

"You're late," Jax stated before turning around and walking away knowing Stahl would follow.

"Just came from your mother," Stahl informed him. "She's in the cage at Charming PD. She tried to turn herself in and shit on our deal."

"God dammit," Jax said through clenched teeth shaking his head before looking at Stahl.

"It doesn't matter," Stahl stated. "She's been cleared of all the murder charges."

"How?"

"Well, Tyler confessed before she died," Stahl answered. "Told me everything Gemma said in her statement was true."

Jax was confused for a couple of seconds before everything clicked into place, "Good thing your bosses don't know about our little deal. I think killing one of your own would be a bad career move."

Stahl shook her head, "I didn't kill her," she stated. "Mexican bikers did."

Neither one said anything for a couple of moments as they stared each other down.

"Your mother seems to believe that you and I shouldn't trust each other. She know something I don't?"

"She thinks you're going to get me killed. Are you?" Jax questioned as they stood face to face.

"You boys are running out of time. Bail hearing is set for tomorrow morning," Stahl answered changing the subject instead of answering his question.

"Clay's sitting down with Otto right now," Jax retorted. "Hook him up with Lenny 'the pimp' and we'll get some info."

"Meetings been arranged," Stahl answered.

"Good," Jax stated.

"You owe me something now don't you?"

Jax didn't answer instead he reached into the waist band of his jeans which prompted Stahl to reach underneath her suit jacket. Until he showed her the folded folder which caused her to relax, somewhat, and snatch the folder away from her.

He pointed out the IRA members he had seen before looking up at her, "I never saw any of the others. Put it in the document along with my statement about Jimmy and I'll sign off on all of it."

"Good…good," Stahl stated nodding. "Keep me posted on Jimmy O."

"Absolutely," Jax sarcastically said.

* * *

"I hate to say this, but with the track record the club has at getting hurt, you guys are going to need Tara," Carrie stated as she sat on a secluded bench outside the hospital.

_Jax sighed, "I know but with everything that happened that's the last person I want anything to do with."_

"I know but I would feel better if there was an actual doctor that you could rely on if someone gets hurt because there's only so much Chibs can do," Carrie explained switching the prepaid to her left ear. "I don't know what you and the club are planning on doing about Jimmy but I don't want anyone of you to get hurt. So as much as it goes against my better judgement. I'm suggesting you call Tara and have her there if someone gets hurt."

"_I understand babe but you have to realize that it was my kid too. Shit I know that I don't have the best track record with being faithful but when it comes to my family I'm in one hundred percent."_

"I get it Jax but the more I think about it the more I'm starting to understand why she did it," Carrie explained. "I'm not saying that it was right but with everything that happened before. I think she was just scared of brining another baby into the mix when everything was so uncertain."

"_I can't make any promises but I'll think about it."_

"That's all I'm asking but really try to put your differences aside at least until you're all safely back at the clubhouse afterwards."

"_Again not going to make any promises," Jax answered._

* * *

"I'm so glad you called me," Tara stated as Jax approached. "We need to sort everything out."

"I didn't call you because of that and you know it," Jax answered.

"I know," Tara softly said. "But that doesn't mean we can't talk about it afterwards."

"There's nothing to talk about," Jax informed her.

"Yes there is," Tara countered. "You can't just end things without listening to my side."

"I can't do this. Not right now."

"That's fine. I get it…club business comes first," Tara replied. "But I'll be waiting afterwards to explain my side and clear this whole thing up. I'm not giving up on us so easily."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you got an abortion," Jax angrily retorted before taking a deep breath. "Look all I need from you right now is to go back inside and get whatever you may need and meet at the club house in two hours."

* * *

"Tell Lenny's lawyer it's true," Opie informed Lowen as he walked towards Jax who had just pulled into the T-M lot.

"You do know I charge hourly right," Lowen called at his retreating back.

"Just send it," Opie answered back without looking at her.

"Ja can I show you something?" Chucky said as he stood in front of him. "It's real important. You really ought to know about it."

"Not now bro," Jax said side stepping him.

"Did you hear from Lenny?" Jax questioned as he walked besides Opie.

"Yeah… Putlova wants two million for Jimmy," Opie answered.

"Hey I need a minute," Carrie said grabbing Jax's elbow as Opie passed by them on his way back to the clubhouse and Chucky made his way towards the T-M office.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Jax retorted.

"I'm on my lunch break but I got a call from your mother shortly after we hung up," Carrie answered. "So I decided to stop by because your mother's in jail."

"I know, I heard," Jax stated.

"The homicide charges were dropped and she doesn't want Clay to know," Carrie informed him. "She's apparently terrified. What the hell is going on Jax?"

"Jax look," Chucky called out preventing him from answering as he dropped a box in between them before lifting the lid.

Carrie and Jax both looked down and she felt her jaw drop at the contents of it. Before looking at Jax whose expression of disbelief mirrored her own.

Jax took the lid from Chucky before bending down to cover and lift the box up.

"Look don't worry about it. Just focus on what you're doing and I'll see you back here once your shift is over," Jax informed her before quickly kissing her and turning to follow Chucky into the clubhouse.

* * *

"What's this?" Clay said as Jax, followed by Chucky, walked into the Chapel carrying the box.

"Tell them," Jax stated dropping the box on the table.

"After Tara got kidnapped I tried to tell you guys about this," Chucky began explaining. "When I was running the counterfeit operation for Lin. I was supposed to throw away all the misprints and dirty runs but I didn't."

"He's got three boxes full," Jax chimed in opening the lid and taking out its contents. "He's got fifties, twenties and hundreds. Over five mil in currency."

Excitement had taken over the Chapel as the printed bill sheets were passed around the table.

As they finally settled down Bobby started to examine the currency.

"Got Eddie to loan us his print cutter," Juice informed them as he walked back into the room.

"Every single one of these bills is irregular." Bobby stated. "Any scrutiny the Russians are going to know."

Clay sighed, "Maybe we need to create some sort of distraction."

"Putlova's too smart. I don't see how this is going down without it being bloody," Bobby retorted.

"Well then… we better bring everybody," Clay answered. "Just in case it does."

"If we could front the stacks with real cash we could buy us enough time to get Jimmy out of there," Jax suggested.

"I got forty in my wallet," Clay stated.

"I got an idea," Jax replied.

* * *

"Putlova wants two million for Jimmy," Jax informed Stahl as he stopped in front of her desk.

"Jesus Christ," she muttered.

"We got our hands on some counterfeit money but I need to pad it out with real bills," Jax stated. "Buy us enough time to get Jimmy out."

"Where did you get the counterfeit cash?"

"Not your worry," Jax retorted. "I need money."

"I still have access to the 250k we used for Tara's ransom," Stahl informed him as she made her way around her desk.

"That'll do," Jax answered.

"What happens when the club asks how you got it?"

"I'll say it was here in evidence and I got Unser to sign it out," Jax stated.

"We're going to be there at the exchange."

"No" Jax quickly shot her idea down. "If the Russians see you there they'll kill Jimmy and if my club sees you there they'll know someone ratted."

"It's the only way you get the cash."

"I'll give you the location," Jax said giving in. ""But you have to hang a couple of miles back."

"Fine."

* * *

"What's going on you seem anxious," Kenz stated as she handed another patient's chart to her.

"I'm worried about my husband," Carrie blurted out without realizing what she said until Kenz squealed.

"Husband? No way who did you marry? When did this happen?" Kenz said firing the questions at her as she tried to calm her down because they were starting to gain attention.

"Will you shut up," Carrie finally said. "People are starting to look and the last thing I need are even more rumors flying around about me."

"So what let them stare and listen in at least this time they'll get their information from the horse's mouth," Kenz retorted back.

"Seriously Kenz. Can you just drop it for now? We still have work to do," Carrie stated grabbing the chart.

"Fine," Kenz said as she slowly started to sulk. "But you better tell me when our shift is over in thirty."

* * *

Jax walked back into the club house and saw them placing the counterfeit cash in two duffel bags along with guns in the third bag.

"We ready?" Clay questioned as he set his kutte on the pool table.

"Yeah two mil, more or less," Bobby answered.

Tig started to list the guns they had prepared as Chibs handed him and Clay a bulletproof vest.

"Snug 'em up tight boys," Chibs stated. "You're going to need them."

"You sure we can't spare one of the prospects?" Jax said looking at Clay as he pulled on his vest.

"We don't know what Putlova's going to show up with," Clay answered. "We need bodies. At least until we make the exchange."

"Yeah… Okay."

"Hey. Tara's here," Happy called out.

"Alright," Jax said looking around as they started picking up the duffels.

They all made their way out of the clubhouse and towards their bikes, except for Jax who walked towards where Tara and Opie were standing in front of the hood of her car.

"Okay I got it," Tara softly said before they both turned around.

"She's all set," Opie stated before walking away.

Even though their relationship hadn't ended on best terms and he was married, again, now. There's was always going to be a spot in his heart where he cared for Tara. No matter how many times she seemed to hurt him. He just couldn't find it in him to not care at least not when he she was helping them out and risking as much as they were in this case.

"You sure about this?"

"I'm the only one who can do it," Tara pointed out shrugging. "Admit it you need me."

"Yes we do," Jax agreed knowing they were going to need a doctor handy in case things went south and got bloody. "I need you to wear this."

Jax handed her the bulletproof vest and helped her put it on as Unser pulled in and Clay handed him another vest.

"You guys heading out?" Unser said as Clay stopped in front of him.

"What gave it away?" Clay sarcastically questioned.

"Lowen is down at the station finishing up Gemma's release," Unser informed him, not bothering to give into Clay's sarcasm. "She should be home soon."

Jax moved away as Tara got in her car and drove out of the lot and towards the rest of the club.

"You guys set?" Jax questioned once they were all loosely huddled around each other.

"Make no mistakes," Piney gruffly said to which they all agreed.

"Jackie," Chibs said before stepping forward to hug him.

Which prompted Opie to step up and hug him as well. They both stepped back and Jax turned towards Piney, his father in law, cautiously knowing he was in his right to berate him for marrying Carrie without asking him for his permission or without fair warning. But all he got was knowing small smile which soon turned into a smirk before they hugged.

"You take care of yourself boy," Piney stated looking at him.

"When you get the text you let us know," Jax informed Filthy Phil as he reached into his kutte pulling out two envelopes. "Then deliver these two letters."

"I know," Phil said nodding. "We'll handle it."

* * *

"So who's the lucky or should I say unlucky guy that married you," Kenz jokingly said as they walked towards out of the hospital.

"You can't tell anyone else got it," Carrie stated pointing a finger at her as they stopped walking on the curb

"Cross my heart," Kenz quickly answered. "Although I have my suspicions on who it is."

"Oh yeah who?"

"Well seeing as how you're only really close to two guys I would say it's between Opie and Jax," Kenz informed her. "Although given by the face you made when I mentioned Opie's name. I'm guessing it's not him."

"First it would be incest if it was and second he's engaged," Carrie explained.

"So that only leaves Jax and don't start squealing again," she warned Kenz as she noticed her begin to slowly start jumping up and down.

"I knew something was going on between you two. I mean why would you go to Ireland just like that with no warning at all," Kenz stated speaking fast the more she kept talking before promptly stopping and gasping. "Is he actually the father that's why you two got married so quick?"

"No," Carrie quickly answered. "Don't even voice that out loud anymore. Everyone is already starting to think that. But no this baby is actually David's not Jackson's."

Kenz nodded in understanding, "Well I'm happy for you if you're happy but I have one request."

"What is it?" Carrie cautiously questioned while warily looking at the redhead.

"That you hook it up with that giant biker brother of yours."

"What part of engaged did your brain not register," Carrie jokingly stated.

"Hey Jax was with Tara and you married him," Kenz retorted. "So it doesn't really make a difference. He's up for grabs."

* * *

"Where the hell is he?" Stahl angrily questioned as she walked up to him.

"Warm and cozy," Jax answered knowing she was pissed she didn't get Jimmy earlier.

"What the hell are you pulling huh?"

"Just keeping us both honest." Jax calmly stated. "You get Jimmy and my statement when my club gets cleared of hard time."

"My recommendation that the federal automatic weapons charges be reduced from fifteen to three years," Stahl explained holding up a blue folder. "Parole in fourteen months all it needs is my signature."

Jax skimmed through the writing on the papers before looking up at her as she started talking again.

"And for that you give me this," Stahl informed switching the folders. "Your statement of cooperation. You share your full knowledge of the gun running operation and any illegal operations perpetrated by the Irish and Jimmy O'Phalen. All it needs is _your _signature."

"I sign this," Jax said looking up from the written statement. "What's to stop you from getting the IRA and letting us rot for fifteen years?"

"What's to stop you from giving this to your lawyer and killing Jimmy?" Stahl retorted holding out the written deal.

"Now you just lied to me. So it's your turn for a show of good faith," she informed him.

He flipped over to the page where a red post it was showing where he had to sign as Stahl held out a pen all while smiling like she had just won the lotto.

"I'm officially a rat," Jax stated looking at her after signing his name. "Your turn."

Stahl turned to the page before closing the folder. "Where's Jimmy?"

"Don't do this," Jax pleaded looking disbelievingly at her.

"Nothing changes," She informed him. "I just need to see him to make sure he's alive and then I'll sign. There is no play here."

"Follow me."

* * *

Carrie followed after Gemma and Clay as they walked over to where Jax had parked his bike in his spot.

"We okay?" Clay questioned as they took in the site of the feds walking towards them.

"I don't know," Jax answered pulling his gloves off.

"Oh shit," Gemma muttered as Stahl walked up to them and uttered good afternoon.

"Where's Jimmy O?" Stahl questioned stopping in front of them. "Okay look I can have a dozen agents here in twenty minutes and they'll shred this white trash shit hole."

"Get him," Clay called to Tig and Juice.

Carrie watched as they got Jimmy out of Tara's cutlass but she became too busy looking at the look on Stahl's face to pay attention to what was said. She only knew she was getting a bad feeling about what was about to happen.

"How'd you know he was here?" Clay questioned as he looked beside him at Stahl.

Stahl turned around and looked at Jax before smiling smugly as she held a blue folder towards Clay, "Cause your VP made a deal."

Carrie felt as if someone had poured ice water on her as the blood drained from her face and her heart started racing.

"You son of a bitch," Jax yelled out as he quickly moved towards Stahl only to be held back by two feds.

"What is she talking about?" Clay questioned looking at him.

"You made a deal for Jimmy? What?" Tig disbelievingly said.

"You ratted," Bobby angrily said pushing Jax while the rest of the club looked at the scene unfold waiting for an explanation.

To which Carrie hoped wasn't true as she tried to calm down her emotions at the consequences of Jax ratting the club out.

"I did it for the club," Jax quietly said.

"You ratted," Bobby continued to push and yell at Jax.

"I had no choice," Jax yelled back. "Look at everything we'll be facing."

"You mean all this time we've been tracking Jimmy and you knew you were going to hand him over to this bitch," Clay stated.

"She blew five of our men," Juice angrily chimed in.

"Including Chibs's nephew," Happy added in.

"I know I'm sorry," Jax answered as he looked around at the club.

If it wouldn't have been for Lyla wrapping her arm around her Carrie was sure her legs would have given out. As the realization of Jax's actions and the consequences became clearer.

"It wasn't his fault," Gemma hurriedly said as she tried to break through but was held back by Bobby. "She made him do it. He really wasn't a rat Clay."

"You're dead you hear me," Clay called out as feds started to swarm in. "Dead!"

Carrie couldn't do anything as the club was led away and as Jax talked to Stahl. She was frozen to her spot and seemed to have lost her ability to speak. All she could do was watch as Tara ran towards Jax as he was being led away before turning to Stahl and seeing the smug look on her face as she signed the deal Jax had made before handing it over to Lowen.

"You're a real bitch," Carrie croaked out as she shrugged Lyla off.

"I'm sorry?" Stahl said.

"How could you do that him," Carrie angrily stated. "He's a dead man walking and you're not even sorry about the consequences of the decisions you make."

"You mean like he didn't care he was going to leave a kid fatherless and a widow behind if the club found out," Stahl retorted.

"You're a heartless bitch," Carrie angrily said before swinging her right arm back and hitting Stahl across the face. "I hope you burn in Hell."

Stahl rubbed her hand down the side where Carrie had hit her and waved off a fed as he grabbed a hold of her.

"She's just hormonal it's fine," Stahl casually told him.

"But you might want to say goodbye to that husband of yours before the next time you see him is in a casket being lowered into the ground," Stahl whispered into her ear before stepping back triumphantly.

Carrie glared at her before pushing past Stahl and making her way towards where they were leading Jax.

"Give them a moment," Stahl called as Carrie stopped besides Jax. "It'll be the last time they see each other anyways."

Carrie flipped Stahl the middle finger and only became angrier when she smiled back at her.

"Why the hell would you marry me only to do this Jax?" Carrie blurted out pushing him." How could you be so selfish? What about Abel?"

Jax didn't answer her, instead he pulled towards him and kissed her with everything he had and even though she was hurt and pissed. She kissed him back knowing it was the last time she would get to do this.

"I love you. You stupid, selfish idiot," Carrie softly said before hugging him not wanting to let go.

"I love you too babe," Jax softly responded into her ear. "Take care of our boys and be strong."

Carrie felt her vision get blurry with tears but she blinked them back in order to take in the details of Jax. Trying to commit them to memory so she wouldn't forget him.

The farther they led Jax away from her the faster her resolve started to fade and the quicker the tears she was trying to hold back were coming forth and starting to spill down her cheeks. Not wanting to see anymore she turned around and made her way towards the office to get her stuff. Only to be stopped by Gemma who hugged her, before they both started lean on each other for support as they cried over the same man.

* * *

The borrowed school bus, Piney was driving was eerily quiet as everyone was caught in their own thoughts. But the four of them had one goal and one thought in common and that was that they needed to carry on and accomplish what they were about to do.

Some more than others, Piney thought as he glanced in the mirror at Opie and Chibs.

* * *

"Seriously?" Stahl disbelieving questioned as Unser lit up a blunt.

"I'm a stage three cancer sweetheart," Unser answered. "I ain't got that many perks left."

Taking a hit he held it out to her but she waved him off, "No thanks."

"You should really have some," Unser slowly stated as a school bus pulled up to where they were parked.

"You gotta be shitting me," Stahl said turning to look at Unser only to see him pointing his gun at her as the bus doors opened.

"What the hell is going on here?" she questioned holding her hands out as Opie walked towards her pointing his weapon at her and disarming her.

She watched as Chibs pulled Jimmy out of the car and leaned him against the bus.

"Take care of our girls Filip," Jimmy stated before Chibs pulled out two knives.

Giving Jimmy the same facial injuries he had suffered before stabbing him both knives.

Opie led her into the driver's seat before taking the back seat. Causing Stahl to begin crying and plead him to not do it. Which Opie had begun to consider before remembering that it was because of her that Donna was dead.

"Please Opie," Stahl pleaded in between sobs. "Don't do this. You had mercy before. Please."

Opie hesitated before softly responding, "Now I don't."

Causing Stahl to cry and gasp for air.

"This is what she felt," He stated before shooting her in the head.

"Come on lets go," Kozik said hitting the car to get him to move. "Is that the deal?"

"Yeah," Opie answered ripping it in half.

* * *

Jax heard honking and looked up as Tig stated to laugh. Which caused Happy to start laughing and Clay to smile before he too started to laugh. All the while Jax couldn't be more relieved that it was done. He just hoped his mother and wife understood why they hadn't told them the plan.

* * *

"What's this?" Carrie said looking at the envelope Phil had handed her.

"I don't know," he answered before leaving her alone in the doorway.

Carrie looked at his retreating back before looking at the envelope in her hand. She slowly made her way towards her bedroom. While carefully making herself comfortable on the bed before gently picking Abel up trying to not wake him but needing to have him close to her.

Quietly she opened the letter and immediately recognizing Jax's writing which caused her to swallow the new tears back. Before finally being able to read the word on the page.

_Hey Babe,_

_If you're reading this that means that Jimmy and Stahl are both dead and the club is doing less time. I hope you understand that I couldn't tell you because I didn't want you to be an accessory. Now before you start getting angry at me, this was voted on way before we even reconciled and got married. So there really is no need for you to be angry because you weren't the only one unaware of the plan set forth. Gemma had no clue either and neither did anyone outside of the Chapel. Like I said before we didn't want anyone being an accessory to this and I hope you understand that. And I apologize for not telling you and I know you're going to be angry. After the relief that our marriage isn't short lived and that it isn't going to end with you being a widow. Because like I said before you're stuck with me until our end. But in all seriousness, I know this isn't going to be easy but I hope you stay strong and don't give up on us. At least not without giving me a chance to fight and prove that this is worth it but I understand that there's only so much you can take with me locked up. And I know I can't ask you to give up living your life just because I'm not there. So if there ever comes a time that you feel as though you can't deal with this lifestyle anymore. Just let me know and I'll let you go, if that's what you truly want. But know that you'll always have me to count and rely on because no matter which way this marriage goes I want you to know that I do love and care for you. I'm just sorry that this marriage isn't exactly how you might have imagined as a little girl. And I may not be the Prince or knight you imagined either but my feelings are real and not some fantasy_

_I want you to know that I entrusted Lowen to draw up the necessary documents for you to legally become Abel's guardian especially now that I'm away. I know you're going to make the decisions that are best for him and that you only have his best interest at heart. And this will only make it easier for you to make decisions for him as his legal guardian, even though you are his mother now. And I apologize for writing this here but I don't have a clue when we would see each other again and this way you can see Lowen and get all this out of the way sooner._

_Now with all that said, remember to stay strong for both Abel and Kip. They're going to need you to be strong and be there for them. And all I ask from you is to remind them how much I love them even if I'm not there. As well as remembering that I love you as well and I won't abandon you or them like my Father did with me and Gemma. And I know that the closer it gets to your due date the more you're going to doubt that I am willing to raise another man's baby as my own. And I have somethings regarding that to discuss with you but I want to discuss them in person. Instead of through this letter. Just know that there isn't a single doubtful thought because I'm in this 100% just like I know you're 100% in this as well. So take care of yourself and our boys and I'll hopefully be able to see you soon or at least hear your voice once again. Until then don't forget I love you three._

_Jax_

Jax had been right she felt relieved that he was going to be fine but she also felt angry at him for not telling her his plan but a part of her understood why he did what he did and the other part just wanted to stay angry at him for not informing her. However, besides the turmoil of emotions running through her. The ones that stood out more prominently were relief and happiness that her husband was going to be okay and looking down at Abel those two emotions flooded through her once more at the knowledge that he wasn't losing his father forever.

* * *

**So what did you guys think? I know it might not be the best chapter but i hope you did enjoy it. Anyways now comes some filler chapters about what happened while the club was away, but they won't be completely written out of them, before a major time jump to when they're out. Now i can't promise that I'm going to update soon or regularly because it depends on when my schedule allows it.**


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